Kit Connor comes out as bi

[EGOT2027 10,894]

12 minutes ago, Night Vision said:

He was being attacked online for "queer baiting" for playing a gay character because he's dating a girl irl. Honestly social media is so ****ing toxic

it’s literally bi erasure every time people do this !!!!!!!!!!

[waterfall 797]

he’s right ig. social media do pressure people to come out, especially when coming out should be done when u wanna do it

[TheOriginalOne 10,885]

Idk who kit Connor is but it sounds like he came out against his will. Happened to me in high school and it’s honestly such a horrible feeling. I wonder, what happened?

[Future Lovers 6,965]

This is in no small part due to the straight teen girls who stan the show, I don't deny that. 

But I cannot ignore that this is also in no small part due to the LGBTQ+ community as well, and as a member of the community it really makes me uncomfortable. To be a community that has spent decades preaching acceptance, understanding, and the freedom to be who you are with no boundaries, such large sections of the community do the exact opposite. 

They want queer representation but only in certain ways. They want people to be able to be queer but only if they get to know about it. They want people to be able to be queer but only in a way that personally makes sense to them. They want people to come out at a time that is comfortable for them and yet speculate endlessly to the point that they demand someone come out just so they have an answer. 

And that's not even to mention the bi-erasure of this whole controversy. It began because they thought he was dating a girl. As if that somehow means he cannot be queer? As if dating a girl erases queerness? As if because he is dating a girl, he has to be straight rather than bisexual. Bisexuality is only ever truly acknowledged when the person dates within the same sex, and it's disgusting. 

I feel horribly for him, truly. What should've been a special moment in his life has been tarnished all because people don't understand the concept of letting people do things on their own goddamn time. He wasn't ready and nobody cared. 

[Noah X 5,250]

this is really hot tho and aligns with my fantasy 

[KindnessPUNK D 23]

No one should be forced out, or to confirm an queer identity. However as a queer person, particularly one on the public eye, I do think there’s a responsibility to own your queer identity publicly. Closeted public figures bother me because it affirms the idea that a queer identity is something to hide or be ashamed of. Bi representation is also important so hopefully he can turn lemons into lemonade. 

[Original Diva 4,970]

15 minutes ago, leonjay said:

this is really hot tho and aligns with my fantasy 

This is disgusting. Please stop. 

[Future Lovers 6,965]

3 minutes ago, KindnessPUNK D said:

No one should be forced out, or to confirm an queer identity. However as a queer person, particularly one on the public eye, I do think there’s a responsibility to own your queer identity publicly. Closeted public figures bother me because it affirms the idea that a queer identity is something to hide or be ashamed of. Bi representation is also important so hopefully he can turn lemons into lemonade. 

I have to strongly disagree here on two fronts. 

1. It doesn't always, and often doesn't, mean they're ashamed, it simply often means that they don't feel personally educated enough on themselves as a person to say how they identify. Kit's 18 remember. That is a time in people's lives where it seems they're finding something new about themselves every day. I think it is perfectly fair for him to be able to say "I don't want to put a label on it" because he may not even be completely sure what all of the labels mean or if he'll continue to be said label in 3 or 4 years time. People announcing a label and then changing it later isn't uncommon, yet it gets criticized, made fun of, and ridiculed. 

2. Being a queer celebrity doesn't inherently mean you must also become a mouthpiece for the community. Some people simply are not made to do it. Kit, like many people are, is a very quiet and noted shy individual. I cannot imagine that anyone with those traits would want to be a mouthpiece, and I don't know that they'd be good at it either. Not every queer person has to be a crusader for the community. It's okay to just exist how you are comfortable existing.

[REALITY 77,139]

And this is why I f*cking hate these "queerbaiting" discussions. It happened with Kit, it's happened with Harry Styles, and other people as well.

Someone's sexuality is a deeply personal part of themselves. Everyone goes through their own journeys discovering themselves and no one should feel like they have to come out because idiots online want confirmation. Kit never specified his sexuality and said that he was "unlabeled" for a reason. He was going through his own journey and it's so sad that he felt like he had to clarify/confirm his sexuality even though he wasn't ready to. 

This online culture of saying people are "queerbaiting" fans has gotten so annoying. When has self-expression and finding yourself become "queerbaiting"? Wanting to put people in a box based on sexuality—which are also largely based on stereotypes—is asinine.

[Melodean 8,330]

This is sooo sad  This is why I’m starting to hate the idea of labels. It’s outdating, like who literally cares if kit connor is bi?

Coming out is an empowering thing but it’s also empowering when you feel like you don’t need to come out to anyone.

I personally feel that I have to always come out all the time to new people who I meet because they assume I am straight and act masculine. And then when they find out I’m attracted to the same sex it almost surprises people. 

I don’t assume anyone sexuality anymore because they are who they are and it’s their life.

[high culture 2,158]

I've never heard of him but it's sad we live in a time where this still happens. Normalize not needing to come out and everyone being potentially LGBT

[REALITY 77,139]

22 minutes ago, KindnessPUNK D said:

No one should be forced out, or to confirm an queer identity. However as a queer person, particularly one on the public eye, I do think there’s a responsibility to own your queer identity publicly. Closeted public figures bother me because it affirms the idea that a queer identity is something to hide or be ashamed of. Bi representation is also important so hopefully he can turn lemons into lemonade. 

I'm sorry, but I vehemently disagree with this. Would it be nice if every single queer celebrity came out and owned their identity? Sure. But just because you're a public figure doesn't mean that you should feel obligated to come out. Coming out is such a difficult decision to do. We, as queer people, know that. Now imagine coming out to not only friends and family, but to the whole world. 

I understand wanting queer celebrities to come out because it normalizes queer identities, but not every celebrity is going to be a spokesperson for the LGBTQ+ community. Some people want to keep it private and we should respect that. Everyone's on their own journey and if they want to, they'll come out eventually. 

Idk, but it just seems really backwards for me to think that by progressing LGBTQ+ rights and normalizing it, we first must want celebrities to disclose their sexualities.

[KindnessPUNK D 23]

9 minutes ago, Mr Mendes said:

I have to strongly disagree here on two fronts. 

1. It doesn't always, and often doesn't, mean they're ashamed, it simply often means that they don't feel personally educated enough on themselves as a person to say how they identify. Kit's 18 remember. That is a time in people's lives where it seems they're finding something new about themselves every day. I think it is perfectly fair for him to be able to say "I don't want to put a label on it" because he may not even be completely sure what all of the labels mean or if he'll continue to be said label in 3 or 4 years time. People announcing a label and then changing it later isn't uncommon, yet it gets criticized, made fun of, and ridiculed. 

2. Being a queer celebrity doesn't inherently mean you must also become a mouthpiece for the community. Some people simply are not made to do it. Kit, like many people are, is a very quiet and noted shy individual. I cannot imagine that anyone with those traits would want to be a mouthpiece, and I don't know that they'd be good at it either. Not every queer person has to be a crusader for the community. It's okay to just exist how you are comfortable existing.

1. There’s inherently shame if you feel your sexuality is  something that needs to be concealed, even a evolving sexuality.
 

2. Visibility is not the same as advocacy. I don’t expect every queer person to be a mouthpiece for the community, just to live their truth if there’s no risk to their safety. Existing in shadows is hiding and I heavy discourage that.

[Melodean 8,330]

1 minute ago, high culture said:

I've never heard of him but it's sad we live in a time where this still happens. Normalize not needing to come out and everyone being potentially LGBT

Thissssssssssssss

[Future Lovers 6,965]

3 minutes ago, KindnessPUNK D said:

1. There’s inherently shame if you feel your sexuality is  something that needs to be concealed, even a evolving sexuality.
 

2. Visibility is not the same as advocacy. I don’t expect every queer person to be a mouthpiece for the community, just to live their truth if there’s no risk to their safety. Existing in shadows is hiding and I heavy discourage that.

I think it's quite unhealthy to associate a desire to be more in tune with one's self with shame. Would you want to sit down and take an exam over a subject that you've not studied? No. If you personally wanted to come out before you fully understood yourself, then that's fine. But many people do not. Many people would like to take the journey of discovery privately because we don't want outside influence pushing is one direction or another. Sexuality is a deeply, deeply personal thing and it's not something that everyone's going to want to discuss with everyone else. It doesn't mean someone is ashamed of themselves to want to learn and explore themselves privately. It just means that they don't want other people's input on their own journey. 

And as for the second point, again, not everyone wants to be out until they're ready to be out. The idea that every queer person in Hollywood has to be out and owning it means that unless you're ready to come out, then you're not allowed to pursue that career. Being a celebrity shouldn't also require coming out before you're ready to.