Bible CAMP: MAYHEM Requiem

[Apec 223]

I so wish I was in a better state, I may be bedridden for the most part but I have my ups and downs pain-wise, and I've been in a bad period right now. When you combine that with the effects of quite heavy meds (when I'm worse I need more and they both - brain overload from Neuropathic pain and the meds - create very light aphasia, the inability to find key words/phrasing you want to express but they feel on the tip of your tongue, plus the extra pain itself and deep fatigue don't help). Otherwise I'd be posting and replying like crazy here, and much faster. I do keep stimulating myself, I've always been an avid reader of world and historic fiction/literature so I keep reading whenever I can. I became ill through a medical mistake (sorry @Ladle Ghoulash you must've heard me say this one too many times). At first, in my very early twenties I was, even with the pain, able to finish from home my Masters. They were somewhat combined so don't think I was literally doing double the time, but it was quite taxing writing so many essays. When I was about to start my PhD at 23-24 my condition took a nosedive and this bed and the bathroom next to it became my world. I keep hoping and have faith (as it were) that I'll heal, even though my Neurologist doesn't know what to do with me anymore. I'm almost 36, the mistake happened at 19. 

Anyway, when I'm worse it takes much longer for me to write things of substance, no matter how much I want to and what my brain generates. When I'm a bit better I can write like crazy, when I'm in this state it's more taxing to write stuff that isn't just "My favorite work by artist X is _____". But know I love this thread because it's so stimulating, truly interesting and exciting. I'm going to write my replies to @bxr's very moving/amazing reply to my post as well as the subsequent ones as well as @gagacabana's apt comment about Gaga's architectural fascination during her concerts and especially her tours. Oh, and @Ladle Ghoulash's newest post! I'm not forgetting you guys at all, my body is merely slowly letting me focus on one thing at a time right now. I LOVE this thread and all you guys in it. 

And like I said in the other thread: Gaga's art has ALWAYS been subliminal - even if there's a surface narrative. Love to hear her say that. I watched this interview back in the day but totally forgot about that part of her admitting it. And lol @bxr re: Simpsons prophecies. Yvan Eth Nioj indeed.  Can't wait what part of Requiem may have inspired her (or the MBT). I know this woman deserves a break but I can't not be excited at what may lie in store for us with LG8.

LOVING the Having Synthed meming. Working on the (a bit more) serious post I promised, but these are instantly iconic. 😂 

[gagacabana 6,527]

7 minutes ago, Apec said:

Otherwise I'd be posting and replying like crazy here, and much faster.

No worries, sister! We got you  glad this digital safe haven can be your electric chapel as well. I'm sending you the best of things, much much love always!! 

[Ladle Ghoulash 48,378]

8 minutes ago, Apec said:

When I was about to start my PhD at 23-24 my condition took a nosedive and this bed and the bathroom next to it became my world.

I can sadly relate to this and it’s devastating. Got Long COVID shortly after finishing my senior thesis and have struggled to work as a writer in the same way ever since. Been going through my own chronic illness sh*t (trialing off label meds, dealing with adverse side effects, weighing pros and cons), so I totally understand going through periods of not having the capacity to contribute on this forum as much. Looking forward to seeing what you post on the other side of this current wave and would honestly love to contribute more myself. Stay strong, sister ♥️

[Apec 223]

12 minutes ago, gagacabana said:

Well

I'm rolling on the floor now. 🤣 Well, in spirit. 😇

And seriously @bxr, that Motown visit? I'm so jealous! That must've been awesome. 

[Apec 223]

43 minutes ago, Ladle Ghoulash said:

I can sadly relate to this and it’s devastating. Got Long COVID shortly after finishing my senior thesis and have struggled to work as a writer in the same way ever since. Been going through my own chronic illness sh*t (trialing off label meds, dealing with adverse side effects, weighing pros and cons), so I totally understand going through periods of not having the capacity to contribute on this forum as much. Looking forward to seeing what you post on the other side of this current wave and would honestly love to contribute more myself. Stay strong, sister ♥️

Thank you so much, I wish you all the best too, including so much strength and of course, healing as soon as possible.  Us chronically ill need to stick together. Lord knows (sorry) that the off-label/trial drug and even "normal" routes form a huge hurdle in and of themselves (the adverse effects alone, how it impacts your body). More than half the stuff I've tried made my quality of living seriously worse. I get you and totally support you too (DM's are always open if you need to/feel able to rant). Do you remember what I promised when I first heard you had Long Covid (amidst my indignation)? I did do what I said back then (basically harassing local and European representatives about more research on it that they'd promised). One European rep talked about new pharmacological research that has just started two months ago regarding three drugs not yet trialled anywhere but showing promise, not saying that it is much, but at least I got an answer. And if we find something here, they are obviously not going to stall bringing that over to the US. 

Anyway, thanks for the very sweet yet honest reply and the absolute same to you, you know you're amazing, right? You haven't chosen this, of course, no one would, but you're a star nonetheless. 

Edited 20 hours ago by Apec

[Apec 223]

51 minutes ago, gagacabana said:

No worries, sister! We got you  glad this digital safe haven can be your electric chapel as well. I'm sending you the best of things, much much love always!! 

Thanks sis!! It definitely is, and sending you much love as well for making it that way too (and for being you)! 

[bxr 1,907]

18 hours ago, gagacabana said:

Well

“Yeah, that‘s right: Lieutenant LG Smash”—iktr  

[Ladle Ghoulash 48,378]

17 hours ago, Apec said:

Do you remember what I promised when I first heard you had Long Covid (amidst my indignation)? I did do what I said back then (basically harassing local and European representatives about more research on it that they'd promised)

I sincerely appreciate that  Gotta kick these fckrs til they do the right thing! 

17 hours ago, Apec said:

you know you're amazing, right? You haven't chosen this, of course, no one would, but you're a star nonetheless.

Right back at ya! Not to romanticize it at all, but there is something very empowering about the type of resilience you can access when confronted with something like chronic illness (even just in the simple recognition of surviving something that would’ve felt unimaginable to you before it happened). Wishing you healing and more good days than bad ♥️ Lmk if there’s anyone whose heels I can nip at so you can get the care you need because I’d gladly do it haha 

[bxr 1,907]

18 hours ago, Apec said:

I so wish I was in a better state, I may be bedridden for the most part but I have my ups and downs pain-wise, and I've been in a bad period right now. When you combine that with the effects of quite heavy meds (when I'm worse I need more and they both - brain overload from Neuropathic pain and the meds - create very light aphasia, the inability to find key words/phrasing you want to express but they feel on the tip of your tongue, plus the extra pain itself and deep fatigue don't help). Otherwise I'd be posting and replying like crazy here, and much faster. I do keep stimulating myself, I've always been an avid reader of world and historic fiction/literature so I keep reading whenever I can. I became ill through a medical mistake (sorry @Ladle Ghoulash you must've heard me say this one too many times). At first, in my very early twenties I was, even with the pain, able to finish from home my Masters. They were somewhat combined so don't think I was literally doing double the time, but it was quite taxing writing so many essays. When I was about to start my PhD at 23-24 my condition took a nosedive and this bed and the bathroom next to it became my world. I keep hoping and have faith (as it were) that I'll heal, even though my Neurologist doesn't know what to do with me anymore. I'm almost 36, the mistake happened at 19. 

Anyway, when I'm worse it takes much longer for me to write things of substance, no matter how much I want to and what my brain generates. When I'm a bit better I can write like crazy, when I'm in this state it's more taxing to write stuff that isn't just "My favorite work by artist X is _____". But know I love this thread because it's so stimulating, truly interesting and exciting. I'm going to write my replies to @bxr's very moving/amazing reply to my post as well as the subsequent ones as well as @gagacabana's apt comment about Gaga's architectural fascination during her concerts and especially her tours. Oh, and @Ladle Ghoulash's newest post! I'm not forgetting you guys at all, my body is merely slowly letting me focus on one thing at a time right now. I LOVE this thread and all you guys in it. 

And like I said in the other thread: Gaga's art has ALWAYS been subliminal - even if there's a surface narrative. Love to hear her say that. I watched this interview back in the day but totally forgot about that part of her admitting it. And lol @bxr re: Simpsons prophecies. Yvan Eth Nioj indeed.  Can't wait what part of Requiem may have inspired her (or the MBT). I know this woman deserves a break but I can't not be excited at what may lie in store for us with LG8.

LOVING the Having Synthed meming. Working on the (a bit more) serious post I promised, but these are instantly iconic. 😂 

Your levels of conscious self-awareness amidst said bevy of altered states is astounding, and our lil‘ mythosophical labyrinth library is so humbled and elated to share your luminous company and conversation in this space and rhyme … not that I have any dictating say one way or the other about platform infrastructures, but, if not the forum, our thread, at the least, operates on kairos time (less needless stress than chronos) … so, whenever the world of words, concepts, and multisyllabic strings align, they will arrive and articulate in opportune time, and we will be ready as ever to explore said revelations … heal up, rest without worry (although, easier said than done, of the course)—your body knows best!

Ough, the Masters gauntlet … dual-degree? PhD at 23?! The Masters mind is a trip—functional, with an uncannily odd precision to the lockstep flow of academic with editorial flair, but still with the empirical foundation, but/and on the other side of final thesis / dissertations it‘s like ”… how did any of those words happen?” It also sets a somewhat unwieldy standard for the self … to meet that watermark whenever … to just write at-will in that flow state … but, it also sort of underscores the “you can‘t go home again,” adage, from a writing voice vantage, and yet, it still sort of fuels that necessary adaptation / evolution in style … but that is to say, you‘re works of language art are ace (callback!), and the thread loves their (and your) presence on the page … take all the time you need … it‘s actually kind of wilde to consider the thread even exists within its sui generis capacity, truly a bespoke discursive communal identity being written / curated in real time … so you‘re building the blueprint with us, and in that, time has no burden of ultimatum … all kairos 

The subliminals—serving semiotics since she was 13! “Yvan Eht Nioj—gotta love that crazy chorus line …” “But what does it mean?” “It doesn‘t mean anything like ‘rama-lama ding-dong,‘ or ‘give peace a chance‘” 

It is good that you are here; all love supreme!