Regina George 59,387 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Christian activist wants to sue NFL because Jennifer Lopez and Shakira’s halftime show could keep him from “getting into the kingdom of Heaven” According to news.com.au, Republican Christian activist Dave Daubenmire is concerned that because he’s viewed the live performance – which included expert twerking, belly dancing and pole dancing from Lopez and Shakira – there may be some issues with him getting into heaven now. As compensation for eternal damnation, Daubenmire wants to sue the National Football League and Pepsi (who sponsored the show) for “about $867 trillion dollars.” Daubenmire expressed his concerns for his soul on Pass the Salt podcast this week: “I think we ought to sue. Would that have been rated PG? Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son – whose hormones are just starting to operate – was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited? “Could I go into a courtroom and say, ‘Viewing what you put on that screen put me in danger of hellfire’ You didn’t tell me I was going to watch it! You just brought it into my living room.” “You didn’t tell me there were going to be crotch shots. That’s discriminatory against the value I have in my house. You can’t just do that. I want to sue them for about $867 trillion.” He finishes his rant by adding: “I think we ought to go sit down in a courtroom and present this as evidence of how whoever [put on the halftime show] is keeping me from getting into the kingdom of Heaven.” According to a recent Facebook post, Daubenmire is in the process of hiring a lawyer to take his case against the NFL, Pepsi and his cable company tot he next level. He’s accusing all three of “pandering ****ography to minors.” STOP BLAMING WOMEN BECAUSE YOU'RE A HORNY ****! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
farting 629 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 the closet's getting cold, huh Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpookyKid 15,181 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Jesus would have worked that pole too. Life has a hopeful undertone |-/ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SOON 4,293 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 1 minute ago, ReginaGeorge said: I want to sue them for about $867 trillion. the real reason he sues tbh gaga, halsey, lorde, taylor, dua Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bling 31,680 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 This is like me suing for the Maroon 5 halftime show giving me Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regina George 59,387 Posted February 6, 2020 Author Share Posted February 6, 2020 Also this piece of **** blaming women because he's horny ****: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexanderMagno 10,746 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 1 minute ago, ReginaGeorge said: "I want to sue them for about $867 trillion.” It doesn't even exist that much money in the world Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regina George 59,387 Posted February 6, 2020 Author Share Posted February 6, 2020 Just now, AlexanderMagno said: It doesn't even exist that much money in the world Well he's clearly not that bright so... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
elijahfan 27,486 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 I'd love to have a look at that man's browser history, I'm sure we'd find it interesting Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poissonche 12,366 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Going to Hell because he saw clothee women dancing on TV? I wonder what he's getting for having sex voluntarily to procreate Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimisaMonster 31,073 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 I stopped reading at "Republican Christian activist..." ... Stream my new single, 💜"Heartbeat"💜, on Spotify! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morphine Prince 109,683 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 "Republican Christian activist" - that's all you need to read. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Economy 52,861 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
elijahfan 27,486 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Also, always find it funny how some Americans are shocked beyond words by an exposed tittie, or an innocent middle finger, when they have absolutely no problem watching an ultra violent game with their kids And they wonder why boys grow up to become repressed assholes obsessed with guns... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sanju 1,504 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 So Adam levine with his shirt off, with the moves like Jagger wasn't sexual at all right? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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