"How Grindr is affecting gay men’s mental health"

[Brolysskins 4,166]

GrindrGays just love sending and receiving new nudes, wbk. 

[austincola 805]

39 minutes ago, Mr Ricky said:

I remember using Grindr and I'm so fcking happy I used the app. I met my man and lover on it 5 years ago. It wasn't necessarily a sex date, but life got in the way back then. So we kind of stopped seeing eachother for 2-3 years.. Now a year ago, we started talking again (not via Grindr, but I saw him on the streets), so we hung out as friends untill my feelings got too strong and so did for him. If it weren't for Grindr, I wouldn't have met him. I'm actually so thankful. 

Our love is stronger then ever. Yesterday was my 6 month anniversary.  ♥ 

Are you guys monogamous or open? 

[Darcklighter22 2,363]

9 minutes ago, RubberHeartt said:

I stopped using it as frequently as I used to. I used to open it at least 9 to 15 times a day and would hook up like 3 times a week. I started realizing it was a problem when I would ditch work just to hook up. It was mostly depression, loneliness, and the thought of being sexually wanted was what made me come back. Not only that, but I get attached too easily. So after I would mess around with somebody and we would finish, i would message them the following day asking if they would want to go out sometime, and it would upset me when they would say no. Add to that the catfish that are on that app. It's crazy how some people still don't think catfish is also when you have a picture of you from 10 years ago. Tsk tsk.

Now I only open it once a week, and it's usually when I'm drinking alcohol. 

I feel the same being newly single for a few months now and not having had the app when I first moved to a larger city. It's the gay McDonalds app in a sense.

[River 127,319]

Please, sex was easy to get even before the creation of Grindr.. and even back then gays worked on their body 24/7 and felt sh-t after a rejection..

This article feels like it was written by a person who was born with a Smartphone on their hand..

[Yuuri 21,636]

16 minutes ago, Givenchy said:

I don't think that's discrimination. Like in this particular thing, dating and sex, I think people should be completely free to voice their preference, because I don't owe somebody a date or sex just because they'll feel offended otherwise. I know that sometimes you may feel differently about people when you get to know them, but if a femme guy doesn't turn me on, he doesn't turn me on. Period. If I'm not into someone whose bottom or vers or whatever, then I'm not. I don't owe them any compliment in dating or sex. It is a preference I think, and I guess people should learn to accept that.

I accept that I'm not everyone's type and that people have and will reject me or even cannot stand me, while others crave me to death. It doesn't always work out like I want it to, and not with everyone I feel something for, but that's just life I guess. I mean if a hot gay guy wrote "no girls" or "sorry girls, I love ****" (there are t-shirts of those), LGBT people would've considered it cool and brave or just never complained about it, so why is it not okay for a gay guy to also reject certain types of gay guys? why don't we tell gay guys to "give girls a chance" and not to "discriminate against them"?

I personally disagree with many of the things you've stated. Why should someone be sexualized for their color of skin instead of treated like an actual person? Yes there are many people that I wouldn't date due to our attitudes clashing, but why should a man of color be treated less than a white man? Isn't it funny how we fight for equality, but we also discriminate against our own people due their ethnicity?

[Sepsami 20,912]

25 minutes ago, LibraLove said:

I met my love on there too. We didn't initially start dating. We just saw each other quite a lot, hung out, played games, went to dinner, bonded over politics (even though our ideologies are totally opposite). Then we just started gravitating toward eachother and I've never been happier! I love him to death. Our ten month is tomorrow.

omg wait  

I was stalking your fb profile for a sec and then I saw a pic of Gaga and was like "omg slae he stans ha aswell" but then I clicked back on GGD and realised I saw u on here in the first place  

 

[DutchHooker 8,600]

Well hello, 

Well, I think I may not say it, because personally I think that  you are not allowed to say that many people are attracted to you, because it would hurt the people who have it harder to find a date or have a lot of insecurities, I have a lot of insecurities, believe me, but still, I'm young and loved on grindr, some people were so obsessed with me, that I have, and still have, to avoid some places because there is a higher chance of seeing them and they scare me out.., I don't say this in a positive way and I don't want to say like "Oowh look at me, i'm so pretty and loved", but more in a negative way., really negative, it affects me everyday.

I can have a date within 15 minutes if I want to and I was addicted to the app a few months ago (So Happy I Could Die - jk), so nowadays I delete the app every week and have made a pact with myself to download it again when I really want to after a few weeks or whatever..

 

Spoiler

I hate the fact that they delete my history after I delete my app 

Right now I'm still in the closet, living the happy heterosexual life, I don't want to come out, because of multiple reasons, but that's a story I safe for later..

But it is a strange place, with a lot of creeps, some people have offered me 300 dollars to have a date with them or whatever, most  of the time, those people are 60 year old creeps..

And the thing is, I can understand that people, esspecialy young people like me, I'm 18, can go into the prostitue world because of it and that 's a dangerous place..

In the Netherlands, there have been 2 crimes lately because of homophobic (islamic) people who downloaded Grindr who hate gay people and therefore, they betray their dates and push them in the water or hurt them..

We have to watch out for people who aren't as mentally stable, which isn't wrong, but they can fall easier to the tricks of people on grindr.. and they are more capable of getting addicted and worse..

Greetings,

The Infamous DutchHooker

@ryanripley

 

22 minutes ago, Sharyu said:

I personally disagree with many of the things you've stated. Why should someone be sexualized for their color of skin instead of treated like an actual person? Yes there are many people that I wouldn't date due to our attitudes clashing, but why should a man of color be treated less than a white man? Isn't it funny how we fight for equality, but we also discriminate against our own people due their ethnicity?

Even while I'm white, I see what you mean.. and I see it everytime I log on.. and perhaps I'm doing it too, but unintentional and perhaps it's within my subconsciousness, because I won't say like, "I'm a perfect human being who is not racist", because I think that some people are intentional racists, but I also think that the (white) people who aren't are always unintentional racists, because of the habits and the culture they grew up with. So I'm not a hypocrit and I'm not an intentional racist, but I can't say whether I'm fully not racist or not, do you understand?

PS:

Spoiler

Don't drag me here for my other Gaga posts, this is a completely other subject..

 

[Mr Ricky 9,089]

37 minutes ago, austincola said:

Are you guys monogamous or open? 

Definitely monogamous. Can't see and or think of having a third person. My mind and concious can't handle that. 

[DutchHooker 8,600]

Just now, Mr Ricky said:

Definitely monogamous. Can't see and or think of having a third person. My mind and concious can't handle that. 

I had a date twice with a couple who lived a happy open relationship and had dates while dating each other, or sometimes they had a threesome.. it is possible, but still weird imo..

[Mr Ricky 9,089]

Just now, DutchHooker said:

I had a date twice with a couple who lived a happy open relationship and had dates while dating each other, or sometimes they had a threesome.. it is possible, but still weird imo..

It's possible for those whom can live with it. I personally don't and never will. Same goes to my lover. I even had a hard time knowing that my BF went to Berghain when he was single.   But he's very prude when it comes to having sex with other people. 

[TimisaMonster 31,073]

This is why I have never and never will use Grindr. I don't give my body to strangers and especially if you are just looking for physical validation of being desirable. 

There's obviously a mental degredation that occurs over time when you view people as mere living sex dolls that you can just go to for quick meaningless sex.

But beyond that...the fear of STD's, rape, kidnapping, murder, mugging, identity theft, violence, etc aren't even brought up...

[DutchHooker 8,600]

9 minutes ago, TimisaMonster said:

This is why I have never and never will use Grindr. I don't give my body to strangers and especially if you are just looking for physical validation of being desirable. 

There's obviously a mental degredation that occurs over time when you view people as mere living sex dolls that you can just go to for quick meaningless sex.

But beyond that...the fear of STD's, rape, kidnapping, murder, mugging, identity theft, violence, etc aren't even brought up...

Well, I do understand you.. and what you say is true, but you have to understand why people are using it.. it's almost the only place where everyone loves men and In real life, you always have that 'find-out'-progress whether someone is gay/bi or not.. people are not just looking for validation or being desirable, it's also because it's easy to find someone you can have cuddles or more with and release your s*xual desire..

[Mr Ricky 9,089]

57 minutes ago, TimisaMonster said:

This is why I have never and never will use Grindr. I don't give my body to strangers and especially if you are just looking for physical validation of being desirable. 

There's obviously a mental degredation that occurs over time when you view people as mere living sex dolls that you can just go to for quick meaningless sex.

But beyond that...the fear of STD's, rape, kidnapping, murder, mugging, identity theft, violence, etc aren't even brought up...

Going to a club or bar won't make any difference. People can be as quiet as they want when it comes to STD or other fear you are fearing of. You can get seduced by a stranger in a bar who doesn't really give their real information in order to trick you to their place. It's possible everywhere. 

All in all, no one is forcing eachother to use an app in order to get their desires. It's their own choice. You can go to a club and ask for sex too, it's just simple as that. 

Don't let fear hold back on your own life, just because of making assumptions. 

[Erich Johnson 2,937]

I meet my boyfriend on grindr ❤

This is the only good thing i get from this app

[aaronyoji 2,064]

honestly, its easier to talk to guys on grinder/scruff than it is tinder. From friends' experiences, tinder seems pretty damaging as well, because theres this implication that guys on tinder are actually serious about meeting someone, but in reality its a pretentious cesspool of internet-hungry vulchers who want the attention and clout of getting tinder matches. the only way you can talk to someone is if you both mutually match, and yet no one responds to anyone on tinder its weird. 

 

but yeah the racial, self hating sexist attitudes on grinder and others can for sure add to the damage. i get so little responses from guys I'm actually attracted to, and deep down i know its cuz I'm not white. and its hard, feeling rejected over things you can't change.