"How Grindr is affecting gay men’s mental health"

[ryanripley 86,575]

By Jack Turban - Full article: https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/4/4/17177058/grindr-gay-men-mental-health-psychiatrist

We need to talk about how Grindr is affecting gay men’s mental health. I’m a gay psychiatrist. Here’s why I went on Grindr to survey men.

As a gay psychiatrist who studies gender and sexuality, I’m thrilled with the huge strides we’ve made over the past decade to bring gay relationships into the mainstream. But I’m worried by the rise of the underground digital bathhouse. Apps like Grindr, with 3 million daily active users, and others like Scruff and Jack’d, are designed to help gay men solicit sex, often anonymously, online. I am all for sexual liberation, but I can’t stop wondering if these apps also have a negative effect on gay men’s mental health.

Since there’s little published research on the men using Grindr, I decided to conduct an informal survey and ask men why they’re on the app so much and how it’s affecting their relationships and mental health. It’s a small sample size, but enough to give us some clues about how Grindr is affecting gay men. And it doesn’t look good.

Apps like Grindr are designed to make finding sex easy. And that can make them hard to stop using.

The most common reason users gave for going on the app is that sex feels great and Grindr makes it accessible, right at your fingertips. The screen full of half-naked men excites users. With a few clicks, there’s a possibility of meeting a sexual partner within the hour.

Neuroscientists have shown that orgasm causes activation of pleasure areas of the brain like the ventral tegmental area while deactivating areas involved with self-control. And these patterns of activation in men are strikingly similar to what researchers see in the brain of individuals using heroin or cocaine. So when a neutral action (clicking on Grindr) is paired with a pleasurable response in the brain (orgasm), humans learn to do that action over and over again.

The phrase “addiction” continues to be controversial when it comes to sex and technology, But as John Pachankis, an LGBTQ mental health expert at the Yale School of Public Health, described the impact of Grindr to me: “I don’t know if it’s an ‘addiction,’ but I know it causes a lot of distress.”

This suggests it’s time we start thinking about Grindr’s health effects more broadly. Other dating apps, like Tinder, for example, are now the subject of early research looking at mental health implications. It’s time to do the same for gay hookup apps.

Grindr may provide men with some relief from their anxiety and depression. But it’s temporary.

For some users I talked to, the allure of Grindr was not just the rush to feel good. It was to stop feeling bad. Users told me they log on when they feel sad, anxious, or lonely. Grindr can make those feelings go away. The attention and potential for sex distract from painful emotions.

A staggering number of gay men suffer from depression, with some estimates as high as 50 percent. Because gay men’s anxiety and depression often stem from childhood rejection for being gay, messages of affirmation from other gay men are particularly appealing. Unfortunately, these messages are typically only skin-deep: “Hey man, cute pic. Looking to ****?”

A recent survey of 200,000 iPhone users by Time Well Spent, a nonprofit focused on the digital attention crisis, showed that 77 percent of Grindr users felt regret after using the app.

The users I interviewed told me that when they closed their phones and reflected on the shallow conversations and sexually explicit pictures they sent, they felt more depressed, more anxious, and even more isolated. Some experience overwhelming guilt following a sexual encounter in which no words are spoken. After the orgasm, the partner may walk out the door with little more than a “thanks.”

Not all Grindr users are addicted and depressed, of course. Some users I interacted with seem to use Grindr in a healthy, positive way. One man I interviewed met his fiancé there; they are excitedly planning their wedding. Some I spoke with said they use the app for sex but haven’t suffered any negative consequences and have control over their use.

There may be ways to treat men with problematic Grindr use.

The mental health professionals I spoke to are seeing problematic Grindr use in their clinics. And there is little published guidance on how to help those who are struggling.

Doctors I spoke to say the best available tools for treating problematic Grindr use are the ones they use in general sex addiction treatment. Citalopram, a common antidepressant, was shown in one small study to be helpful with sex addiction in gay men. Naltrexone, a drug commonly used for other compulsive behaviors, may work as well.

For more extreme cases, patients could request hormonal implants that turn off testosterone signaling, making sexual cravings less intense. However, even these treatments have modest empirical support at best, and none have been studied for hookup app use specifically.

The dynamics of Grindr, though, are complicated, and it can take time to work through all the angles. Are you self-soothing anxiety? Are you addicted to sex? Have you lost interest in your monogamous relationship? Do you think you can’t attain love, so you’re settling for hookups? Did your parents tell you being gay is wrong and you’re searching for acceptance? Ultimately, Kraus explains that therapy can help clarify these kinds of thoughts and feelings, and lead to insights that bring about a healthy change.

As we continue to fight to bring gay relationships into the mainstream, we need to keep an eye on Grindr and how it both reflects and affects gay culture. The bathhouse is still around. It’s now open 24/7, accessible from your living room.

Read the full thing here: https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/4/4/17177058/grindr-gay-men-mental-health-psychiatrist

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a really interesting article and i highly recommend reading it all because i wanted to squeeze in as much without getting into trouble

i know it's a long read but if you're genuinely interested in such a topic, i'd very much like to hear your opinions on this piece  

 

[Yuuri 21,636]

It thought the article would be about how it allows discrimination against certain groups of people like "No fems, no blacks, no asians, no twinks, etc." And other people sweeping it under the tug because it's "preference."

[ryanripley 86,575]

1 minute ago, Sharyu said:

It thought the article would be about how it allows discrimination against certain groups of people like "No fems, no blacks, no asians, no twinks, etc." And other people sweeping it under the tug because it's "preference."

yeah he kinda skipped that or didn't get enough data on it

[Ryusei 61,502]

Well, good thing I'm not using it 

[Mikolaj 11,640]

Be careful hunties when your parents enter like mine just did.

On topic, how can an app that allows easy sex be of any good? Mentally speaking, sex causes release of oxytocin, responsible for social bonding. So you attach to that person unconsciously to never see them again - amazing idea. This is simply unhealthy and unsustainable for you, and good that there's now at least some research to back it up.

[ryanripley 86,575]

Just now, ExMachina said:

Be careful hunties when your parents enter like mine just did.

On topic, how can an app that allows easy sex be of any good? Mentally speaking, sex causes release of oxytocin, responsible for social bonding. So you attach to that person unconsciously to never see them again - amazing idea. This is simply unhealthy and unsustainable for you, and good that there's now at least some research to back it up.

the guy did say that there are some users are managing to use it pretty well but i think the majority aren't even aware that grindr may be the cause of some of their mental health problems

but yeah, it's good somebody is helping kick something off and we can talk about how hypersexualised settings like clubs and grindr being the only places to meet fellow LGBT people isn't okay

[Mikolaj 11,640]

1 minute ago, ryanripley said:

the guy did say that there are some users are managing to use it pretty well but i think the majority aren't even aware that grindr may be the cause of some of their mental health problems

but yeah, it's good somebody is helping kick something off and we can talk about how hypersexualised settings like clubs and grindr being the only places to meet fellow LGBT people isn't okay

Exactly. Especially that, say, you're looking for a long-term partner, maybe for life - you don't try your luck in a club or on Grindr, but then you don't have many options left. LGBT people have it very difficult in that matter.

 

[Mr Ricky 9,089]

I remember using Grindr and I'm so fcking happy I used the app. I met my man and lover on it 5 years ago. It wasn't necessarily a sex date, but life got in the way back then. So we kind of stopped seeing eachother for 2-3 years.. Now a year ago, we started talking again (not via Grindr, but I saw him on the streets), so we hung out as friends untill my feelings got too strong and so did for him. If it weren't for Grindr, I wouldn't have met him. I'm actually so thankful. 

Our love is stronger then ever. Yesterday was my 6 month anniversary.  ♥ 

[Mr Ricky 9,089]

3 minutes ago, ExMachina said:

Exactly. Especially that, say, you're looking for a long-term partner, maybe for life - you don't try your luck in a club or on Grindr, but then you don't have many options left. LGBT people have it very difficult in that matter.

 

Read above, it is possible!  

[Florian 20,017]

2 minutes ago, Mr Ricky said:

I remember using Grindr and I'm so fcking happy I used the app. I met my man and lover on it 5 years ago. It wasn't necessarily a sex date, but life got in the way back then. So we kind of stopped seeing eachother for 2-3 years.. Now a year ago, we started talking again (not via Grindr, but I saw him on the streets), so we hung out as friends untill my feelings got too strong and so did for him. If it weren't for Grindr, I wouldn't have met him. I'm actually so thankful. 

Our love is stronger then ever. Yesterday was my 6 month anniversary.  ♥ 

I'm glad everything is going well for you Ricky  

[Mr Ricky 9,089]

Just now, Florian said:

I'm glad everything is going well for you Ricky  

Thank you darling  

 

[Sepsami 21,058]

Omg it's even worse than candy crush  

I'm so glad I left that cesspool of insecurities behind me  

[Kulture Kiari 3,433]

I stopped using it as frequently as I used to. I used to open it at least 9 to 15 times a day and would hook up like 3 times a week. I started realizing it was a problem when I would ditch work just to hook up. It was mostly depression, loneliness, and the thought of being sexually wanted was what made me come back. Not only that, but I get attached too easily. So after I would mess around with somebody and we would finish, i would message them the following day asking if they would want to go out sometime, and it would upset me when they would say no. Add to that the catfish that are on that app. It's crazy how some people still don't think catfish is also when you have a picture of you from 10 years ago. Tsk tsk.

Now I only open it once a week, and it's usually when I'm drinking alcohol. 

[God Control 2,181]

I personally never used and never will use any dating apps of any kind, because I just totally don't get the point in using an app to hook up with a perfect strange, let alone give them my location and then feel bad that we "treat each other like a piece of meat". I mean I don't wanna judge but an app made for finding random hookups should not be expected to give you more than that.

A lot of people get disappointed that the random stranger they found on grindr didn't want anything serious. Like why did you even expect that? I prefer to know people Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, where I see their updates, see what they write, how they think, interact with them in a place that doesn't revolve around sex and the expectation to share nudes and meet up for sex and dating. I think love and even casual sex are better when they happen naturally and when you least expect them.

43 minutes ago, Sharyu said:

It thought the article would be about how it allows discrimination against certain groups of people like "No fems, no blacks, no asians, no twinks, etc." And other people sweeping it under the tug because it's "preference."

I don't think that's discrimination. Like in this particular thing, dating and sex, I think people should be completely free to voice their preference, because I don't owe somebody a date or sex just because they'll feel offended otherwise. I know that sometimes you may feel differently about people when you get to know them, but if a femme guy doesn't turn me on, he doesn't turn me on. Period. If I'm not into someone whose bottom or vers or whatever, then I'm not. I don't owe them any compliment in dating or sex. It is a preference I think, and I guess people should learn to accept that.

I accept that I'm not everyone's type and that people have and will reject me or even cannot stand me, while others crave me to death. It doesn't always work out like I want it to, and not with everyone I feel something for, but that's just life I guess. I mean if a hot gay guy wrote "no girls" or "sorry girls, I love ****" (there are t-shirts of those), LGBT people would've considered it cool and brave or just never complained about it, so why is it not okay for a gay guy to also reject certain types of gay guys? why don't we tell gay guys to "give girls a chance" and not to "discriminate against them"? 

[LibraLove 1,282]

32 minutes ago, Mr Ricky said:

I remember using Grindr and I'm so fcking happy I used the app. I met my man and lover on it 5 years ago. It wasn't necessarily a sex date, but life got in the way back then. So we kind of stopped seeing eachother for 2-3 years.. Now a year ago, we started talking again (not via Grindr, but I saw him on the streets), so we hung out as friends untill my feelings got too strong and so did for him. If it weren't for Grindr, I wouldn't have met him. I'm actually so thankful. 

Our love is stronger then ever. Yesterday was my 6 month anniversary.  ♥ 

I met my love on there too. We didn't initially start dating. We just saw each other quite a lot, hung out, played games, went to dinner, bonded over politics (even though our ideologies are totally opposite). Then we just started gravitating toward eachother and I've never been happier! I love him to death. Our ten month is tomorrow.