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The Cure just doesn't work.


FATCAT

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FATCAT

So I went to the pool today, minding my business in the chilled waters on a hot day, when I decided to play some Lady Gaga songs on the speaker I brought. There were a few people there with me, some sorority types getting a tan, some jocks grilling nearby. I knew I couldn't play back-to-back Joanne, as that would put a damper on the summer-fun attitude that my playlist promotes.

So, I played The Cure.

After the second "I WILL BE RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE" I heard a beep on my phone, and ran up the shallow side's stairs. About half way up, I caught a major charlie horse (cramp in my leg) and realized that I couldn't make a scene in front of all of these fresh faces! I riled in pain, and practically bounced on my flexing leg, but it was truly painful. After what seemed like an eternity, the pain stopped and I could finally breathe. I looked around, no scene. No one had noticed my absolute horror from a few seconds ago. But then, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

The Cure WAS NOT the cure. It didn't help me one bit, and even though I had started it EARLY. So, if you're relying on Gaga's healing touch through this song, guess again, and go see a real doctor! You have been WARNED!

tl;dr

Spoiler

I went to the pool today.

I played The Cure.

I caught a major cramp in my leg while it was playing.

The Cure WAS NOT the cure.

Β 

This kitten over here (meow)
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bloody g

The Cure is not a mirculous medication. You might need to stream it several times on Spotify after you buy it on iTunes.

γ€ŽπŸπšπ­πž 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 π›πž πœπ‘πšπ§π πžπγ€
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Trxstan

speak for yourself mawma I am freed of my homosexuality so...

woop hey there keep scrolling
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actsleazy

drag her

πŸ’“πŸ’—πŸ’•πŸ’˜πŸ’–πŸ’žπŸ’˜πŸ’–πŸ’žπŸ’˜πŸ’πŸ’“πŸ’–πŸ’˜πŸ’žπŸ’—πŸ’“πŸ’–
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Gia Gunn
4 minutes ago, Trxstan said:

speak for yourself mawma I am freed of my homosexuality so...

Then what are you doing in this forum henny? ExposedTΒ :usrs:

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kvnrp

The Cure only works if you bought it on iTunes, Tidal, Amazon, Google Play, Target, Walmart, Media Markt and on Vinyl.

Twice.

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Antichrist
Just now, kvnrp said:

The Cure only works if you bought it on iTunes, Tidal, Amazon, Google Play, Target, Walmart, Media Markt and on Vinyl.

Twice.

+it needs to be discounted and moving around #11-#20 on iTunes at that time, else no cure for nobody henny

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kvnrp
Just now, Antichrist said:

+it needs to be discounted and moving around #11-#20 on iTunes at that time, else no cure for nobody henny

+it needs to be signed by Gaga.

Or else the CD is only a piece of plasticΒ :lana:

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Trxstan
1 minute ago, Gia Gunn said:

Then what are you doing in this forum henny? ExposedTΒ :usrs:

13ab929271173453.jpg

checking on my former colleagues hennyΒ :usrs:

woop hey there keep scrolling
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Antichrist
2 minutes ago, kvnrp said:

+it needs to be signed by Gaga.

Or else the CD is only a piece of plasticΒ :lana:

putin.jpg

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The Senate

Oh honey you just need to purchase it 7 times and stream it 269 times for it to workΒ 

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DrugAway
27 minutes ago, FATCAT said:

So I went to the pool today, minding my business in the chilled waters on a hot day, when I decided to play some Lady Gaga songs on the speaker I brought. There were a few people there with me, some sorority types getting a tan, some jocks grilling nearby. I knew I couldn't play back-to-back Joanne, as that would put a damper on the summer-fun attitude that my playlist promotes.

So, I played The Cure.

After the second "I WILL BE RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE" I heard a beep on my phone, and ran up the shallow side's stairs. About half way up, I caught a major charlie horse (cramp in my leg) and realized that I couldn't make a scene in front of all of these fresh faces! I riled in pain, and practically bounced on my flexing leg, but it was truly painful. After what seemed like an eternity, the pain stopped and I could finally breathe. I looked around, no scene. No one had noticed my absolute horror from a few seconds ago. But then, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

The Cure WAS NOT the cure. It didn't help me one bit, and even though I had started it EARLY. So, if you're relying on Gaga's healing touch through this song, guess again, and go see a real doctor! You have been WARNED!

tl;dr

Β  Reveal hidden contents

I went to the pool today.

I played The Cure.

I caught a major cramp in my leg while it was playing.

The Cure WAS NOT the cure.

Β 

Try some magnesium citrate sweetie πŸ˜—

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alp0707
17 minutes ago, kvnrp said:

+it needs to be signed by Gaga.

Or else the CD is only a piece of plasticΒ 

I have signed Joanne booklet. Does it count ?

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FentyGa
1 hour ago, kvnrp said:

The Cure only works if you bought it on iTunes, Tidal, Amazon, Google Play, Target, Walmart, Media Markt and on Vinyl.

Twice.

Also Apple Music and the Me...I am Joanne, The Elusive Chanteuse special edition only available at RuPaul's Drag Con.

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