Life is short...

[Ronk 14,762]

10 minutes ago, Sara said:

So, if someone is being really bad, I should not call them out for it, but rather just accept them and work from there?

I do accept them as people, and I understand that if I were in their shoes I might believe the things they believe or act the way they act, nevertheless, should I not point out that what they are saying or doing is awful?

If I say something that comes across the wrong way, or is insensitive, I honestly hope that others DO correct me rather than just accepting me. 

 

While Gaga speaks about kindness, her greatest impact is just being herself, living her life as a kind person.  People notice what she does.  Treating rude and unkind people with kindness is the approach that works.  Responding to meanness with more meanness doesn't work at all.  People respond when they are shown kindness.  Gaga's way of staying positive has a purpose.

[Didymus 34,379]

9 minutes ago, Sara said:

but even if I disagree, I'm at least going to let them have a pass, because I know they are upset.

Perfect contradiction right there. I thought you didn't believe in accepting the way things/people are and defended people's rights to voice their disapprovement of someone's actions? If someone can get a free pass for grieving, then why not give one for someone who's upset for other reasons, like being tired of having people tell them what to do and call it kind (and good) advice all their lives?

[Sara 1,128]

20 minutes ago, Didymus said:

Didn't you claim to be a Buddhist a year ago? You should know what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about accepting things and then leaving it at that. I literally said I agreed with giskardsb that we should all work for improvement. But I don't believe that is going to work the best way by shaking a kid and yelling "BE NICE TO OTHERS!" without them understanding why that's in their best interest.

I'm a Buddhist in the same way that people claim to be Christian and then rarely go to church.  I'm not very good at it, I mostly just do a lot of meditation to help me with my anxiety issues and to work on being accepting of everyone, even those who are being total jerks IRL.  I admit, I do struggle with that one always.  How do I love an ISIS member equally to everyone else?  It's hard.

giskardsb wasn't shaking a child angrily though, he was trying to explain to people why it was in our best interest (just as you want?) not to be angry about LG5 being late

 

[Phoenix 17,395]

Sorry for your loss, and I agree to some points with you.  

This thread already a mess tho.

 

[Mariann 301]

I am so sorry for your loss. Life is short. The more important people you lose the more it makes you think about your own mortality. Cherish each other before it's too late. 

[Didymus 34,379]

Just now, Sara said:

giskardsb wasn't shaking a child angrily though, he was trying to explain to people why it was in there best interest (just as you want?) not to be angry about LG5 being late

Telling people what's good for them does not work. Understanding can't be transferred from one brain to another via language, and to even think it can be is just plain arrogance and disrespect to your conversation partner.

This is a discussion forum, opinions are expressed in their proper places, and opening up a whole thread that is basically a complaint about how people post disguised as mourning-in-process will be a magnet for people like me who don't like hypocrisy and double standards. If people don't want that, then they shouldn't be making grand statements about how other people should run their lives, that's how I see it.

[Sara 1,128]

7 minutes ago, Didymus said:

Telling people what's good for them does not work. Understanding can't be transferred from one brain to another via language, and to even think it can be is just plain arrogance and disrespect to your conversation partner.

Well, I think it does work.   I listen to advice all the time about what is good for me!   I ignore some of it, or I'll engage on a debate if I disagree.   Or maybe it's advice I already agree with but I needed someone to point out that I'm failing at it at the moment.  I especially listen to the advice of those who have had experiences I have not. 

 

[Didymus 34,379]

8 minutes ago, Sara said:

Well, I think it does work.   I listen to advice all the time about what is good for me!   I ignore some of it, or I'll engage on a debate if I disagree.   Or maybe it's advice I already agree with but I needed someone to point out that I'm failing at it at the moment.  I especially listen to the advice of those who have had experiences I have not. 

Well, of course. So do I. But you're the one doing the work, not the person explaining stuff to you. You're the one generating meaning out of the sentences your brain picks up. You're the one connecting the dots with your own experiences and conceptions. Your understanding is your unique product, and anything the other person has said was just the stimulator of possibilities present in your constitution.

Any attempt to teach others about anything is useless without that dynamic being understood. So telling a way too large, unspecified group of people to quit doing what they're doing because it's useless and unkind is never going to reach the desired group of people in the desired way, most specifically because the targeted group is likely to be offended more than being willing to listen That the people who are not being targeted approve of the message means absolutely nothing except that communication has failed (unless the purpose was to have a circle jerk of "we're the smart ones, they're the stupid ones" sentiment).

[Ronk 14,762]

8 hours ago, Didymus said:

Kindness in this context would just be to be kind to the people who are doing something you don't like (i.e. complaining about LG5 not coming soon enough) in general.

 

Exactly.  When I saw that old Simpson's show, the part that struck me the most was when Gaga was set to arrive someone reminded the group "no negativity".  A wonderful slogan of Gaga, and one of the ways she will have a positive impact on the world.  It would be great if people would think about the impact those words have when used in practice.  Those words define Gaga.  For just one example, she won't drag other artists, she won't even put herself above other artists.  She lives those words.

[Didymus 34,379]

7 minutes ago, Ronk said:

Exactly.  When I saw that old Simpson's show, the part that struck me the most was when Gaga was set to arrive someone reminded the group "no negativity".  A wonderful slogan of Gaga, and one of the ways she will have a positive impact on the world.  It would be great if people would think about the impact those words have when used in practice.  Those words define Gaga.  For just one example, she won't drag other artists, she won't even put herself above other artists.  She lives those words.

Well, she slips up like any normal human being, and I don't believe she specifically will be the most impactful regarding that issue, but I agree with the essence

[Saint Laurent 4,862]

52 minutes ago, Sara said:

If someone I know has a friend who just died, and they are very focused on the temporary nature of life at the moment, and they come up to me and say "Sara, life is short!  Don't spend it doing trivial things", I'm going to let that slide.  First of all, I know they are right, and I should appreciate that advice, but even if I disagree, I'm at least going to let them have a pass, because I know they are upset.

 

If you had read my post properly, you would know that I regarded that I have the greatest of respects for that and offered my condolences for the OP's loss.

[Ronk 14,762]

1 minute ago, Didymus said:

Well, she slips up like any normal human being, and I don't believe she specifically will be the impactful regarding that issue, but I agree with the essence

Yes, she is a normal human being, and so many people don't get that.  What I stan for is that she's a person trying to have a positive impact on the world and she uses her reach for that purpose.

[gagafan2017 103]

All the more reason to be as prolific as possible...sadly after she passes we already know she won't have a discography as huge as Bowie (10 albums released in his 20s) or Prince (11) to delve into because shes simply not willing to put the work in and prioritize music as a vocation like she used to. 

[giskardsb 12,565]

yes, you can't force anyone into behavior.

but you can remind them that there are other options.

maybe this thread was a poor attempt at doing so, but events sometimes encourage you to speak, no matter how imperfectly.

 

[Creyk 17,805]

45 minutes ago, Luke Putres said:

All the more reason to be as prolific as possible...sadly after she passes we already know she won't have a discography as huge as Bowie (10 albums released in his 20s) or Prince (11) to delve into because shes simply not willing to put the work in and prioritize music as a vocation like she used to. 

I've been thinking about this too. She will probably finish with like, 7 albums not counting the jazz ones and that's it. She should have loads of unreleased songs (ACT II for example) that interscope will hopefully put out as post-humous releases.