My Test ARTPOP Review

[Chic 20,830]

This is a review of ARTPOP I wrote that is meant to have been written from a non-biased perspective by a music reviewer writing for a magazine or online website. I wanted to test my reviewing/reporting abilities and I would like your opinion on it.

Lady Gaga Dazzles with new album ARTPOP.

After a highly successful international tour and an ensuing crippling hip injury earlier this year, Lady Gaga made her long-awaited comeback in August with single Applause, a catchy power anthem in which she makes satire of fame (in typical witty Gaga style) and bluntly asks for a bid of applause from her fans: "Give me that thing that I love / Now turn the lights on! / Put your hands up, make em' touch, touch!". The single, released on August 12th, preceded its music video, in which the Mother Monster dresses in her typical, not-so-typical attire, with outfits including a representation of the classic Pierrot, a revealing re-imagining of Boticelli's "The Birth Of Venus" and even a look that harkens back to Cher circa 1970, all set in a half black and white and half color hybrid of wacky facial expressions and crisp choreography - the way only Gaga knows how.

After a memorable performance at the VMA's, in which she transformed into several of her different looks throughout the years, Gaga remained relatively quiet save for a sneak preview of her album at London's iTunes Festival and a small handful of first single performances. However, Gaga amped up the information a bit more in October, releasing uncharacteristic R&B smash Do What U Want (Feat. R Kelly) as the official second single from ARTPOP, and the Bowie-esque Venus that actually sounds more like the iconic Gaga style than everything else we've heard so far.

ARTPOP leaked in early November, and it sure is a doozy - it is an EDM extravaganza of some of the catchiest Gaga tunes we've ever heard and is undeniably a step up from her previous albums. Here is my review on the album:

The album starts surprisingly - though not so surprisingly, as I had prepared myself for listening to Lady Gaga, who has worn a meat dress on stage before and even crossdressed, both on the VMA's stage during two consecutive years (needless to say, the shock was short-lived) - with a relatively short guitar chord before Gaga sings the rather eerie intro "I killed my former and / left her in the truck on highway 10 / left the knife under the hood / if you find it, send it straight to Hollywood". More guitar ensues as Gaga breaks into a bout of audio-muffled manical laughter before stuttering the song's title "Aura-a-a" multiple times. This was not entirely what I had expected to get into, as it did not start anything like her previous albums; nevertheless, the song breaks into a rather intricate, dark verse, "I'm not a wandering slave / I am a woman of choice" being one of the lyrics. This somewhat artsy verse surprises only when it ends, seamlessly segueing into one of her most beautiful and catchiest choruses to date; the euphoric trance-like hook mesmerizes as she sings "Do you wanna see me naked, lover? / Do you wanna peek underneath the cover? / Do you wanna see the girl who lives behind the aura, behind the aura?" before blasting EDM synths come and remind you that neither ARTPOP - nor Gaga - is messing around. Aura is pure Gaga the way you've always expected and wanted it. A true favorite.

The album then quickly turns to another complex song, as Gaga sings space-age Venus, a track produced entirely by herself - a first for Mother Monster. The track starts off getting right to the point with the line "Rocket #9 blast off to the planet, Venus" and ensuing verse before reaching the first checkpoint of the song, a vocally impressive hook in which Gaga expresses her desire for the goddess of love before eventually segueing into yet another verse in which she repeats the line "Take me to your planet, take me to your planet, take me to your leader, your leader, your leader" and finally gets to the chorus; an epic and catchy section that captures the listener with lyrics such as "When you touch me I die / just a little inside / I wonder if this could be love / this could be love" and the song turns out to actually be relatable, and the true meaning is dug up. The song continues from here until the bridge, where Gaga gives us all a lesson on the planets, helped along by her intentionally quirky vocals, angelic harmonies and the memorable line "Uranus / Don't you know my ass is famous?". Once again, Gaga proves she is back in a refreshing revision of her usual style.

ARTPOP continues with the next track, G.U.Y, a dark EDM bop reminiscent of early Britney, in which she exclaims "Love me love me please retweet / Let me be the Girl Under You that makes you cry". Perhaps the Gaga-Britney comparisons aren't so far off with this one, as G.U.Y channels that underlying s-xual innuendo evident in the title of one of the latter's singles, "If U Seek Amy". A true pop track. The album furthers itself as it pushes on into 80's influenced (and incredibly catchy, I might add) Sexxx Dreams (with the totally not blunt line, "When I lay in bed / I touch myself and I think of you") and Jewels N' Drugs, in which Gaga recruits a rapping crew of T.I., Too Short and Twi$ta to help her along with the track, in which she proclaims with complete certainty "Don't want your jewels, I want your d--gs / don't want your money, want your love". Classy.

Following this is the insanely catchy rock-infused pop track, MANiCURE ("I'm gon' be MANiCURED / You wanna be man cured / Ma-ma-ma-MANiCURE / She wanna be man cured") and the vocally-impressive R&B smash, Do What U Want, which features R. Kelly (producer of a handful of Mariah Carey tracks). The track's hook bravely exclaims "You can't have my heart and / You won't use my mind but / Do What U Want with my body / Do What U Want with my body". This is a track obviously made to combat the haters and it does just that; as the official second single from ARTPOP, this track rocketed to #1 on iTunes in tens of countries and rightfully so; this is sure to become a successful Gaga track.

Moving on, ARTPOP dips right back into the 80's with the futuristic title track "We could, we could belong together / ARTPOP" before it breaks into the spiteful club-smashing "Swine", featuring the album's first EDM breakdown after hook "I know, I know, I know, I know you want me / You're just a pig inside a human body." Written about Gaga's past experiences, this track truly shows the anger she has inside with the most electronic of pounding beats to express the pure fury that manifests itself within the song and the lyrics; "You're just an animal / tryna' act real special / but deep down you are just a shrew." The track references her troubles getting onto the pop music scene early in her career, and she sure has succeeded with her dreams!

The album continues on with satirical Donatella, which is about the Italian heiress to the Versace fashion company. The song begins with line "I'm so fab / Check it out / I'm blonde / I'm skinny / I'm rich / and I'm a little bit of a b---h" and continues on into the highly electronic club-banger in which she expresses her love for fashion and a few words of advice "Walk down the runway but don't puke / it's okay". Next is piano-EDM track produced by mega-producers Will.I.Am and David Guetta, "Fashion!" ("I feel on top of the world / In my Fashion!" and obvious marijuana track "Mary Jane Holland", the first of two tracks produced by up-and-coming Huqo Leclerq (Madeon) from France. The track is a pure EDM smash as Gaga wishes she could be high "I think that I could be fine / If I could be Mary Jane Holland tonight" and blatantly expresses her wealth "But it's okay / Cause I am rich as piss".

The album dips down for piano ballad Dope, easily one of the saddest songs on the record, in which she proclaims that she needs her lover more than dope, overcoming a serious d--g addiction. Originally "I Wanna Be With You", this track shows the most vulnerable side of Gaga as she slurs the lyrics and laces it with impressive and heart-wrenching vocals "I feel so low / from living high for so long". I dare anyone to listen to this and not shed at least one tear.

Dipping back up again, the album moves on to imminent megahit "Gypsy", a "The Edge Of Glory"-esque power ballad produced by Madeon. The song details Gaga's life on the road and how she's separated from her love at home, as she ponders over the possibility of leaving "Sometimes I think that we could just be friends". Starting slow, the song picks up pace and becomes an incredible EDM ballad. With a hook as catchy as "I'm I'm I'm, I'm I'm I'm a Gypsy, Gypsy, Gypsy, I'm" and an outro naming various parts of the world, this song, if made a single, is sure to blast Gaga off into the stratosphere again.

The album ends with Applause, which is surely earned and garnered as I go to push replay after the final word, "A-R-T-P-O-P", and listen to this extremely catchy album again. ARTPOP is surely Gaga's best (or at least most genre-diverse) work so far and truly shows off her talents as a singer and artist. I give this album a rating of 9.5. Apart from areas it fails to achieve in (there is no one outstanding track that separates itself from the rest of the album, and some songs are unnecessarily autotuned), this album is a true pop masterpiece and will be enjoyed by Lady Gaga's fans and critics alike. One big round of Applause for the Mother Monster.

[Mast 980]

Still kinda sounds biased. To be truly unbiased you gotta both sides. That is, to point out BOTH the good things AND the bad things in a subject. All you did was praise, and let's be honest, ARTPOP is far from perfect to the unbiased eye. 

Great write-up nonetheless! 

[Chic 20,830]

Still kinda sounds biased. To be truly unbiased you gotta both sides. That is, to point out BOTH the good things AND the bad things in a subject. All you did was praise, and let's be honest, ARTPOP is far from perfect to the unbiased eye.

I understand that's a flaw

What about the actual journalism side, how does it look and sound either way?

[Justin Drew Bieber 25,317]

Very professional looking

[Mast 980]

I understand that's a flaw

What about the actual journalism side, how does it look and sound either way?

Your writing flows great! No major grammatical error that sticks out to me. 

[aquaprincess 23]

I like it

[SpadesToStart 1,653]

The quality of writing is great.  Try to be a little more critical of some of the songs :)

[Chic 20,830]

Your writing flows great! No major grammatical error that sticks out to me.

Thanks! :) I'm thinking of editing it to include some more critical elements to the tracks.

[MonSwiftAnton 3,649]

I enjoyed reading it

[Gagz 2,572]

I think reviewing track-by-track is very tedious for a magazine/paper review. I'm a journalist, and reviews like this are generally best when left short.

[Chic 20,830]

Your writing flows great! No major grammatical error that sticks out to me.

Here, I added some critiques:

Lady Gaga Dazzles with new album ARTPOP.

After a highly successful international tour and an ensuing crippling hip injury earlier this year, Lady Gaga made her long-awaited comeback in August with single Applause, a catchy power anthem in which she makes satire of fame (in typical witty Gaga style) and bluntly asks for a bid of applause from her fans: "Give me that thing that I love / Now turn the lights on! / Put your hands up, make em' touch, touch!". The single, released on August 12th, preceded its music video, in which the Mother Monster dresses in her typical, not-so-typical attire, with outfits including a representation of the classic Pierrot, a revealing re-imagining of Boticelli's "The Birth Of Venus" and even a look that harkens back to Cher circa 1970, all set in a half black and white and half color hybrid of wacky facial expressions and crisp choreography - the way only Gaga knows how.

After a memorable performance at the VMA's, in which she transformed into several of her different looks throughout the years, Gaga remained relatively quiet save for a sneak preview of her album at London's iTunes Festival and a small handful of first single performances. However, Gaga amped up the information a bit more in October, releasing uncharacteristic R&B smash Do What U Want (Feat. R Kelly) as the official second single from ARTPOP, and the Bowie-esque Venus that actually sounds more like the iconic Gaga style than everything else we've heard so far.

ARTPOP leaked in early November, and it sure is a doozy - it is an EDM extravaganza of some of the catchiest Gaga tunes we've ever heard and is undeniably a step up from her previous albums. Here is my review on the album:

The album starts surprisingly - though not so surprisingly, as I had prepared myself for listening to Lady Gaga, who has worn a meat dress on stage before and even crossdressed, both on the VMA's stage during two consecutive years (needless to say, the shock was short-lived) - with a relatively short guitar chord before Gaga sings the rather eerie intro "I killed my former and / left her in the truck on highway 10 / left the knife under the hood / if you find it, send it straight to Hollywood". More guitar ensues as Gaga breaks into a bout of audio-muffled manical laughter before stuttering the song's title "Aura-a-a" multiple times. This was not entirely what I had expected to get into, as it did not start anything like her previous albums; nevertheless, the song breaks into a rather intricate, dark verse, "I'm not a wandering slave / I am a woman of choice" being one of the lyrics. This somewhat artsy verse surprises only when it ends, seamlessly segueing into one of her most beautiful and catchiest choruses to date; the euphoric trance-like hook mesmerizes as she sings "Do you wanna see me naked, lover? / Do you wanna peek underneath the cover? / Do you wanna see the girl who lives behind the aura, behind the aura?" before blasting EDM synths come and remind you that neither ARTPOP - nor Gaga - is messing around. Aura is pure Gaga the way you've always expected and wanted it. A true favorite.

The album then quickly turns to another complex song, as Gaga sings space-age Venus, a track produced entirely by herself - a first for Mother Monster. The track starts off getting right to the point with the line "Rocket #9 blast off to the planet, Venus" and ensuing verse before reaching the first checkpoint of the song, a vocally impressive hook in which Gaga expresses her desire for the goddess of love before eventually segueing into yet another verse in which she repeats the line "Take me to your planet, take me to your planet, take me to your leader, your leader, your leader" and finally gets to the chorus; an epic and catchy section that captures the listener with lyrics such as "When you touch me I die / just a little inside / I wonder if this could be love / this could be love" and the song turns out to actually be relatable, and the true meaning is dug up. The song continues from here until the bridge, where Gaga gives us all a lesson on the planets, helped along by her intentionally quirky vocals, angelic harmonies and the memorable line "Uranus / Don't you know my ass is famous?". Once again, Gaga proves she is back in a refreshing revision of her usual style.

ARTPOP continues with the next track, G.U.Y, a dark EDM bop reminiscent of early Britney, in which she exclaims "Love me love me please retweet / Let me be the Girl Under You that makes you cry". Perhaps the Gaga-Britney comparisons aren't so far off with this one, as G.U.Y channels that underlying s-xual innuendo evident in the title of one of the latter's singles, "If U Seek Amy". A true pop track. The album furthers itself as it pushes on into 80's influenced (and incredibly catchy, I might add) Sexxx Dreams (with the totally not blunt line, "When I lay in bed / I touch myself and I think of you") and Jewels N' Drugs, in which Gaga recruits a rapping crew of T.I., Too Short and Twi$ta to help her along with the track, in which she proclaims with complete certainty "Don't want your jewels, I want your d--gs / don't want your money, want your love". Classy. Jewels N' Drugs isn't exactly the best track on ARTPOP, but it serves its place as an almost satirical sort of song, as I feel like it questions the necessity of the integration of rappers in pop music more than utilizes it in a professional way.

Following this is the insanely catchy rock-infused pop track, MANiCURE ("I'm gon' be MANiCURED / You wanna be man cured / Ma-ma-ma-MANiCURE / She wanna be man cured") and the vocally-impressive R&B smash, Do What U Want, which features R. Kelly (producer of a handful of Mariah Carey tracks). The track's hook bravely exclaims "You can't have my heart and / You won't use my mind but / Do What U Want with my body / Do What U Want with my body". This is a track obviously made to combat the haters and it does just that; as the official second single from ARTPOP, this track rocketed to #1 on iTunes in tens of countries and rightfully so; this is sure to become a successful Gaga track.

Moving on, ARTPOP dips right back into the 80's with the futuristic title track "We could, we could belong together / ARTPOP" before it breaks into the spiteful club-smashing "Swine", featuring the album's first EDM breakdown after hook "I know, I know, I know, I know you want me / You're just a pig inside a human body." Written about Gaga's past experiences, this track truly shows the anger she has inside with the most electronic of pounding beats to express the pure fury that manifests itself within the song and the lyrics; "You're just an animal / tryna' act real special / but deep down you are just a shrew." The track references her troubles getting onto the pop music scene early in her career. One gripe I have with this track is the heavy autotune (which is highly unnecessary) that degrades the potentially great vocals. Nevertheless, it is still a good pop track.

The album continues on with satirical Donatella, which is about the Italian heiress to the Versace fashion company. The song begins with line "I'm so fab / Check it out / I'm blonde / I'm skinny / I'm rich / and I'm a little bit of a b---h" and continues on into the highly electronic club-banger in which she expresses her love for fashion and a few words of advice "Walk down the runway but don't puke / it's okay". Next is piano-EDM track produced by mega-producers Will.I.Am and David Guetta, "Fashion!": "I feel on top of the world / In my Fashion!". This track feels more like filler than any other track on the album, and isn't a very memorable song at that. After this is obvious marijuana track "Mary Jane Holland", the first of two tracks produced by up-and-coming Huqo Leclerq (Madeon) from France. The track is a pure EDM smash as Gaga wishes she could be high "I think that I could be fine / If I could be Mary Jane Holland tonight" and blatantly expresses her wealth "But it's okay / Cause I am rich as piss".

The album dips down for piano ballad Dope, easily one of the saddest songs on the record, in which she proclaims that she needs her lover more than dope, overcoming a serious d--g addiction. Originally "I Wanna Be With You", this track shows the most vulnerable side of Gaga as she slurs the lyrics and laces it with impressive and heart-wrenching vocals "I feel so low / from living high for so long". I dare anyone to listen to this and not shed at least one tear.

Dipping back up again, the album moves on to imminent megahit "Gypsy", a "The Edge Of Glory"-esque power ballad produced by Madeon. The song details Gaga's life on the road and how she's separated from her love at home, as she ponders over the possibility of leaving "Sometimes I think that we could just be friends". Starting slow, the song picks up pace and becomes an incredible EDM ballad. With a hook as catchy as "I'm I'm I'm, I'm I'm I'm a Gypsy, Gypsy, Gypsy, I'm" and an outro naming various parts of the world, this song, if made a single, is sure to blast Gaga off into the stratosphere again.

The album ends with Applause, which is surely earned and garnered as I go to push replay after the final word, "A-R-T-P-O-P", and listen to this extremely catchy album again. ARTPOP is surely Gaga's best (or at least most genre-diverse) work so far and truly shows off her talents as a singer and artist. I give this album a rating of 9.5. Apart from areas it fails to achieve in (there is no one outstanding track that separates itself from the rest of the album, and some songs are unnecessarily autotuned), this album is a true pop masterpiece and will be enjoyed by Lady Gaga's fans and critics alike. One big round of Applause for the Mother Monster.