Your top 3 favorite music videos

[Anderson123 37,830]

1. Judas
2. Bad Romance
3. Abracadabra

Honorable mentions: Disease, You and I, Marry The Night, Alejandro.

[Apec 0]

As a massive fan of Gaga's since 2008, this list must seem pretty weird - but I stan an ever-evolving multi-talented genius, and have a life story of my own that she really depicts so well in these last few MV's of hers. They've not just become art to me, but lifelines to hang onto when I can't cope. 

Backstory: I am a woman with multiple chronic health conditions that cause immense pain 24/7. I'm bedbound (according to one especially memorable encounter with a healthcare provider I just simply "chose to become bedridden" even though she had my x-rays splayed out before her.) When I was 19 the head of a hospital department specializing in one of my conditions made a tremendous mistake that left me unable to do anything more than go to the bathroom to wash myself, etc. and go back to bed, most of the time hyperventilating while doing so because of the pain and exhaustion. I'm now nearly 35 and things haven't changed. Countless specialists later. Nothing. Nearly every "health worker",  nurse or house doctor treats me like junkie trash (their words) except for my neurologist, who almost killed me last year by combining medicines you cannot under any circumstance take at the same time. If the poisoning of certain synapses had taken an hour or two longer than it did, I'd be braindead and in a coffin right now. He doesn't feel any resposibility re: the most casual negligent almost-murder in the world and knows I can't go to anyone else but him because he's the only one in my area right now. I am stuck with him. The more doctors you meet in life (so if you have literally any condition that's not a piece of cake to solve) and if you happen to be a woman (we're all stressed out hysterical hypochondriacs didn't you know? Medical sexism is alive and well folks, if you're not lying there bleeding or in a full-body cast good luck convincing them to run actual tests and telling them no, it's not all in your head). My AH-MAZING neurologist is currently looking for another solution besides homicide. Meeting hordes of doctors and specialists over the years while learning about your own illness makes you appreciate the horror that 75% of these people are downright dangerous (and seem to have zero humanity left in them) and should be forbidden from being in your general vicinity.

Enough about me, here's my current list (no particular order):

- 911: What a masterpiece, filled to the brim with symbolism both personal to her and universal, touching on deep themes of losing oneself in the pain both mental and physical, the absurdity and Kafkaesque maze to get medical care in an emergency, the toll of chronic pain on mental health, TW S ideation, both passive and active (the MV rides the thin line between her choosing to ride into traffic or it being inattention on her part) TW, how surreal life as a patient is/the creeping horror of psychosis/what impulses your brain distorts under extreme stress and shock. It's a masterpiece, the way the tableaus go from stillnes with only the camera zooming in on Gaga's robotic movements, including the mimicking of pill-swallowing while she repeats the almost brainwashed-sounding mantra that she is the source of all her misery contrasted with the still backgrounds where Gaga breaks out of her "programming", dances like her life depends on it - all punctuated by the sentence "paradise is in my hands", meaning she has her pills and is able to feel the paradise that much less physical pain and mental noise bring her. 

But because every patient must perform an act of penance, as it were, for merely existing, she keeps repeating what years of "treatment" have told her to say if she wants her paradise and to be able to drop the front she built around her heart to get to her oasis (meaning she luckily doesn't believe a word she says in her monotone voice). Before she gets the medicine she needs she has to repeat that she is her own worst enemy, that nobody is to blame for her pain but her ("My biggest enemy is me/pop a 911/My biggest enemy is me/Ever since day one). Think about how effed up that last line is, and how it's nothing she says organically. It was fed to her by doctors who expect nothing short of verbal self-flaggelation from "difficult" patients. This is then contrasted with the actual care that medical first responders show her when she comes to. Brilliantly done, and I love how even the costumes/artifacts/tools/random items all feel out of place, out of time, adding to the surreality of the situation. This may have been based on an old idea but Gaga molded it until it became her own - from the tiny to the big details.

- Disease: This has so much more depth if you struggle with chronic pain. Both the song and MV are pure catharsis. I can't praise this enough, the second verse where Gaga and her double are trying to move towards the light but only hurt eachother in the process, at first not even aware of each other... It's brilliant. Never has chronic pain been better represented on film than here. Because you know that the amalgamation of all of Gaga's diseases (the eye for migraine, the claws for fibromyalgia which is often felt in the fingers, the cane for her hip, the black goo for her conquered bulimia, etc.) is going to do this all over again when the MV ends it takes on another dimension. She going to do it again and again and again...into infinity. Taunting you with promises of less pain ("ecstacy") if you go along, if you scream your lungs out. Or maybe much worse, the pain taunts you to end it, as if that would be easy and painless ("Lay you down like 1-2-3/eyes roll back in ecstacy..."). It's bone-chilling yet so accurate. Disease!Ga (I can't lump her in with the Mistress of Mayhem) is appropriately creepy and it hurts how she doesn't even have to do much to create inner panic, tumult, chaos. Her interactions with past and other iterations of Gaga are so well done - we see Gaga ignoring, fearing, being tempted and trying to reconcile with the manifestation of all of her pain, to no avail, all in 4 minutes. This is both a tearjerker and a triumph for those who truly get it.

 

- Abracadabra: Gaga is giving us life advice again but in the most fun way possible ("Keep your mind on the distance/ When the devil turns around" --> Using 'on the distance' means she's both cheering us on for how far we've already come as well as our ability to fight past obstacles in the future). She laments that sometimes empty fights, misunderstandings and self-sabotage can keep us from reaching our goals in life (Don't waste time on a feeling/Use your passion/No return) while battling her own demons in The Lady in Red (who gets even better fleshed out in The Art of Personal Chaos concert, so with the gem

As a massive fan of Gaga's since 2008, this list must seem pretty weird - but I stan an ever-evolving multi-talented genius, and have a life story of my own that she really depicts so well in these last few MV's of hers. They've not just become art to me, but lifelines to hang onto when I can't cope.

Backstory: I am a woman with multiple chronic health conditions that cause immense pain 24/7. I'm bedbound (according to one especially memorable encounter with a healthcare provider I just simply "chose to become bedridden" even though she had my x-rays splayed out before her. When I was 19 the head of a hospital department specializing in one of my conditions made a tremendous mistake that left me unable to do anything more than go to the bathroom to wash myself, etc. and go back to bed, most of the time hyperventilating while doing so because of the pain and exhaustion. I'm now nearly 35 and things haven't changed. Countless specialists later. Nothing. Nearly every "health worker",  nurse or house doctor treats me like junkie trash (their words) except for my neurologist, who almost killed me last year by combining medicines you cannot under any circumstance take at the same time. If the poisoning of certain synapses had taken an hour or two longer than it did, I'd be braindead and in a coffin right now. He doesn't feel any resposibility re: the most casual negligent almost-murder in the world and knows I can't go to anyone else but him because he's the only one in my area right now. I am stuck with him. The more doctors you meet in life (so if you have literally any condition that's not a piece of cake to solve) and if you happen to be a woman (we're all stressed out hysterical hypochondriacs didn't you know? Medical sexism is alive and well folks, if you're not lying there bleeding or in a full-body cast good luck convincing them to run actual tests and telling them no, it's not all in your head). My AH-MAZING neurologist is currently looking for another solution besides homicide. Meeting hordes of doctors and specialists over the years while learning about your own illness makes you appreciate the horror that 75% of these people are downright dangerous (and seem to have zero humanity left in them) and should be forbidden from being in your general vicinity.

Enough about me, here's my current list (no particular order):

- 911: What a masterpiece, filled to the brim with symbolism both personal to her and universal, touching on deep themes of losing oneself in the pain both mental and physical, the absurdity and Kafkaesque maze to get medical care in an emergency,  the toll of chronic pain on mental health, TW S ideation, both passive and active (the MV rides the thin line between her choosing to ride into traffic or it being inattention on her part) TW, how surreal life as a patient is/the creeping horror of psychosis/what impulses your brain distorts under extreme stress and shock. It's a masterpiece, the way the tableaus go from stillnes with only the camera zooming in on Gaga's somewhat robotic movements, including the mimicking of pill-swallowing while she repeats the almost brainwashed-sounding mantra that she is the source of all her misery contrasted with the still backgrounds where Gaga breaks out of her "programming", dances like her life depends on it - all punctuated by the sentence "paradise is in my hands", meaning she has her pills and is able to feel the paradise that much less physical pain and mental noise bring her.

But because every patient must perform an act of penance, as it were, for existing, she keeps repeating what years of "treatment" have told her to say if she wants her paradise and to be able to drop the front she built around her heart to get to her oasis (meaning she luckily doesn't believe a word she says in her monotone voice). Before she gets the medicine she needs she has to repeat that she is her own worst enemy, that nobody is to blame for her pain but her ("My biggest enemy is me/pop a 911/My biggest enemy is me/Ever since day one). Think about how effed up that last line is, and how it's nothing she says organically. It was fed to her by doctors who expect nothing short of verbal self-flaggelation from "difficult" patients. This is then contrasted with the actual care that medical first responders show her when she comes to. Brilliantly done, and I love how even the costumes/artifacts/tools/random items all feel out of place, out of time, adding to the surreality of the situation. This may have been based on an old idea but Gaga molded it until it became her own - from the tiny to the big details.

- Disease: This has so much more depth if you struggle with chronic pain. Both the song and MV are pure catharsis. I can't praise this enough, the second verse where Gaga and her double are trying to move towards the light but only hurt eachother in the process, at first not even aware of each other... It's brilliant. Never has chronic pain been better represented on film than here. Because you know that the amalgamation of all of Gaga's diseases (the eye for migraine, the claws for fibromyalgia which is often felt in the fingers, the cane for her hip, the black goo for her conquered bulimia, etc.) is going to do this all over again when the MV ends. Again and and again. Taunting you with promises of less pain ("ecstacy") if you go along, scream. Or even worse, the pain taunts you to end it, as if that would be easy and painless ("Lay you down like 1-2-3, eyes roll back in ecstacy..."). It's bone-chilling yet so accurate. Disease!Ga (I can't lump her in with the Mistress of Mayhem) is appropriately creepy and it hurts how she doesn't even have to do much to create inner panic, tumult, chaos. Her interactions with past and other iterations of Gaga are so well done - we see Gaga ignoring, fearing, being tempted and trying to reconcile with the manifestation of all her pain, all in 4 minutes. This is both a tearjerker and a triumph for those who truly get it.

- Abracadabra: Gaga is giving us life advice again but in the most fun way possible ("Keep your mind on the distance/ When the devil turns around" --> Using means she's both cheering us on for how far we've already as well as our ability to fight past obstacles in the future). She laments that sometimes empty fights, misunderstandings and self-sabotage keep us from reaching our goals in life (Don't waste time on a feeling/Use your passion/No return) while battling her own demons in the form of The Lady in Red (who gets even better fleshed out in The Art of Personal Chaos concert, so with the gem that is the Abra MV we wouldn't have the former). Everything is impeccable, the dancers' shouts with the rhythm of the song, Mayhem's announcement, White!Gaga shaking her head when everone is dancing alone, the way she brings everyone together, Mayhem's spell, Gaga's moves during "the floor is on fire", Mayhem's entrance and dance, Gaga vs. Mayhem, the Rubensesque morning light tableau with the dancers carrying her and forming lines to touch her during the electronic beat-opera part, the part where White!Ga madly carries on dancing, the ending with Mayhem bowing her endless spiky hat in defeat.

Only Gaga could do so much worldbuilding, surrealism with perfect internal logic, surprising contrasts, intriguing shots that leave you wanting more, exciting imagery, ominous yet beautiful scenes and pure chaos turning into magnificent havoc and maelstrom in such a short time. Her storytelling is top-notch, helped by the amazing choreography, as is every little detail. Seeing as she co-directed it, I'm not surprised that everything came together like a (gothic) dream.

Defite honorable mentions: Judas, Alejandro, Bad Romance