Harry Styles finds media’s obsession with him to define himself as outdated

[Sarah H 2,578]

44 minutes ago, LateToCult said:

He’s 26??????? I thought he was about to be 30. 

He's 28

[Nycboy 644]

2 hours ago, holy scheisse said:

Yes it “should” be that way but also……… it gives me “color blind” vibes when it comes to racism as a parallel for example. Yes it would be great if we lived in a world where color didn’t matter, but it does because racism persists… so isn’t saying like, no labels!!! We don’t need to label ourselves! Sort of like a slap in the face to anti trans and anti lgbtq policies and hate crimes etc thst are very much real still? 

 

Just thinking aloud lol

Came here to say this myself. It’s giving “all lives matter.”  Not liking labels is one thing, but hiding in the closet is dangerous. Being gay is real, and needs to be recognized as a legitimate label. So many people who are gay are forced to endure such a hard life simply because they say I’M GAY. Given all that’s happening in Florida, clearly it’s important to teach others to SPEAK UP about who you are. Gay pride has always been about being able to proudly wear the label “Gay”, not to ignore its existence. Wouldn’t conservatives just love to live in a society where nobody talks about being gay? If Harry is nonbinary, bisexual, pansexual, or whatever it may be, he should be able to say it - I mean, we do have a term for everything these days. 

[holy scheisse 20,802]

37 minutes ago, Melancholia said:

he's not wrong in that sexuality *shouldn't* matter. sadly, however it does. i don't think it's a coincidence that the only celebrities who are SO keen to remain unlabelled are the ones who profit from remaining unlabelled. like it's obvious, whether he likes it or not, that the sexual and gender ambiguity around him and the whole 'is he or isn't he' is a huge selling point for him, and to come out one way or the other, or even say he's undecided, would damage the marketability of that aspect of him.

straight men can be feminine, of course they can, but i'm not sure it's a coincidence that he's always dropping *just enough* crumbs of information to stir up discussion (making subtle references to boys, homosexuality etc.) but not enough to damage his marketability to straight girls. people aren't asking him to pick an identity, they're just asking for some transparency so they can be sure this isn't all a marketing tactic. he can't be oblivious to the fact that the ambiguity makes him more money.

he's a big male artist on a major record label with a major management team, it isn't a stretch or huge jump to assume he IS just a straight guy using the ambiguity to make more money/a straight guy who's having that narrative pushed by his management, and that's why people feel entitled to know. not because they need to know everything about his personal life, but because people want to know if the artist who constantly alludes to being queer without ever saying so is just milking them for money.

i completely agree with this

 

im sure harry styles is a great guy; but it rubs me the wrong way that he CLEARLY benefits from all the curiosity and questioning, and him not giving clarity on that prolongs the mystery and thus his image as this enigmatic carefree kinda guy. 

 

 

 

i agree with ppl who say he really doesnt owe us anything and doesnt have to tell us about himself-- thats his choice. but imagine all this time he truly is a straight person and then he's commenting on the idea of labels and how we don't need them etc. thats like a white person saying i dont see race, we are all one humankind, lets love eachother and hold hands lol

 

TLDR if he truly is queer i think it changes the credibility of him talking about this tbh. if he is straight, this is not OK

[Nycboy 644]

To add another point: I remember when Lance Bass came out in 2006 and it was a HUGEEE groundbreaking news story because it was so unheard of to have an openly gay signer of that level of fame (and he wasn’t even that famous by then). 

So Harry, you mean to tell me that only 16 years later, society has progressed so much so that male pop stars no longer need to discuss sexuality? Sorry but that’s complete BS and dishonors those who risked their careers to come out of the closet. 

To those who say pop stars should be able to “maintain privacy”: If you sing about sex, be prepared to be asked questions about sex. It’s that easy. 

[Hyoha 1,417]

2 hours ago, holy scheisse said:

Yes it “should” be that way but also……… it gives me “color blind” vibes when it comes to racism as a parallel for example. Yes it would be great if we lived in a world where color didn’t matter, but it does because racism persists… so isn’t saying like, no labels!!! We don’t need to label ourselves! Sort of like a slap in the face to anti trans and anti lgbtq policies and hate crimes etc thst are very much real still? 

 

Just thinking aloud lol

You’re right. He’s simply not ready to come out

[TortureMeOnReplay 5,147]

1 hour ago, Melancholia said:

he's not wrong in that sexuality *shouldn't* matter. sadly, however it does. i don't think it's a coincidence that the only celebrities who are SO keen to remain unlabelled are the ones who profit from remaining unlabelled. like it's obvious, whether he likes it or not, that the sexual and gender ambiguity around him and the whole 'is he or isn't he' is a huge selling point for him, and to come out one way or the other, or even say he's undecided, would damage the marketability of that aspect of him.

straight men can be feminine, of course they can, but i'm not sure it's a coincidence that he's always dropping *just enough* crumbs of information to stir up discussion (making subtle references to boys, homosexuality etc.) but not enough to damage his marketability to straight girls. people aren't asking him to pick an identity, they're just asking for some transparency so they can be sure this isn't all a marketing tactic. he can't be oblivious to the fact that the ambiguity makes him more money.

he's a big male artist on a major record label with a major management team, it isn't a stretch or huge jump to assume he IS just a straight guy using the ambiguity to make more money/a straight guy who's having that narrative pushed by his management, and that's why people feel entitled to know. not because they need to know everything about his personal life, but because people want to know if the artist who constantly alludes to being queer without ever saying so is just milking them for money.

This, exactly this. He talks about a vagina tasting sweet like watermelon but wants privacy surrounding sex. It doesn't add up, and it seems like he simply doesn't wanna discuss it because it would affect his marketability. 

[RichAssPiss 4,177]

It's still important to come out as bi or mostly straight but fluid. I support him in his right to privacy, but then refuse to speak on it. Don't trot it out in interviews and tell people how to feel when queer kids are under attack in the U.S. Not everyone has the race, class, body, and gender privilege he has. For a lot of people, it matters. How can you stand on stage and help tell people's parents their gay and not see that it matters? Obviously it would mean so much to those fans to hear they have more than just an ally, if that were the case.

[Borisapillar 6,804]

2 hours ago, Melancholia said:

he's not wrong in that sexuality *shouldn't* matter. sadly, however it does. i don't think it's a coincidence that the only celebrities who are SO keen to remain unlabelled are the ones who profit from remaining unlabelled. like it's obvious, whether he likes it or not, that the sexual and gender ambiguity around him and the whole 'is he or isn't he' is a huge selling point for him, and to come out one way or the other, or even say he's undecided, would damage the marketability of that aspect of him.

straight men can be feminine, of course they can, but i'm not sure it's a coincidence that he's always dropping *just enough* crumbs of information to stir up discussion (making subtle references to boys, homosexuality etc.) but not enough to damage his marketability to straight girls. people aren't asking him to pick an identity, they're just asking for some transparency so they can be sure this isn't all a marketing tactic. he can't be oblivious to the fact that the ambiguity makes him more money.

he's a big male artist on a major record label with a major management team, it isn't a stretch or huge jump to assume he IS just a straight guy using the ambiguity to make more money/a straight guy who's having that narrative pushed by his management, and that's why people feel entitled to know. not because they need to know everything about his personal life, but because people want to know if the artist who constantly alludes to being queer without ever saying so is just milking them for money.

VERY that

[Babba the Hutt 453]

Yeah, no, he absolutely capitalizes on the ambiguity of it all.

He shouldn't come out if he doesn't want to but, at the same time, he knows what he's doing, he knows it's convenient. Representation is important, normalizing different sexualities is important, it would be a lot more positive if he was honest rather than always being defensive about this like he was hiding something bad because it's not bad but he's definitely making it sound like it was.

[elijahfan 23,816]

4 hours ago, LaLa said:

I totally get what he’s saying, and it sounds like he has some issues to work through himself which is totally valid.

But people wanting to know isn’t just “media obsession”, representation is meaningful and I think fans wanting to have big successful pop stars that are openly queer to look up to is okay too

He certainly should get to do things in him own time though 

The thing is... he is open with his queerness. Him admitting to being bisexual or pansexual won't change in any way the perception his fans and the public already have of him, LGBTQ people already look up to him. I think saying labels aren't important is a great message in itself too, not having everything figured out is perfectly fine.

[Future Lovers 5,698]

Just let the man be, jesus christ. He does not owe anyone a goddamn thing and all of this continued discussion about “he should stop hiding in the closet” is just gross. Leave him alone, it isn’t hard. If y’all are tired of hearing about them stop keeping the conversation so alive that he gets asked about it interviews. 

The pressure gays specifically put on people to come out is ridiculous. It’s not his job to be a hero or role model for anybody. If he doesn’t want to put a label on himself at least publicly then leave it at that. Pressuring someone to say something definitive when they don’t want to isn’t cute or funny, it’s dangerous and every member of the LGBTQ+ community should know that first hand. 

[SharGaga 2,906]

Harry's House is a really good album so I forgive him

[chun li 2,234]

It doesn’t matter until he has to appeal to the gays and sell based on lgbt imagery right 

[BBhomemaker 5,611]

1 hour ago, Mr Mendes said:

Just let the man be, jesus christ. He does not owe anyone a goddamn thing and all of this continued discussion about “he should stop hiding in the closet” is just gross. Leave him alone, it isn’t hard. If y’all are tired of hearing about them stop keeping the conversation so alive that he gets asked about it interviews. 

The pressure gays specifically put on people to come out is ridiculous. It’s not his job to be a hero or role model for anybody. If he doesn’t want to put a label on himself at least publicly then leave it at that. Pressuring someone to say something definitive when they don’t want to isn’t cute or funny, it’s dangerous and every member of the LGBTQ+ community should know that first hand. 

And you need to stop being so harsh on gay people, they have every right to feel frustrated or upset about it. 

Harry style is an artist that plays with the ambiguity of being androgynous, and yes it’s his right and we should respect it. I agree that nobody should force anyone to come out.
Now that being said, he sells a queer image, his brand his based on a non conforming and sexual image, he plays with it, and his fanbase counts a lot of people from the lgbtq+, he have the opportunity and the privilege to express himself as he wants, which a lot of us can’t but surely look up to be as free. He wants to be praised for his difference and art that is literally the reflection of our community, being supported by the lgbtq but doesn’t wanna wear the gay label. Its like yes, buy me, support me but im not like you. It can be seen as some rejection of being perceived or associated with gay men. It’s important to remember that most of us are still ashamed for doing 1/10 of what he does on a daily.

We know that if he comes out it wont change anything about his sales or how the world see him, everyone got it and when you see that artists like Lil Nas or Sam Smith are successful and out, the argument about it being dangerous for his career is not true for him. 
It’s important for gay people to have someone validating or recognizing what himself is showing, and that it’s okay. ..nobody asks for a hero, just honesty. So in a way yeah it does matter. Now he do what he wants and nobody should force him, but people can be frustrated over it. 
 

Being part of the LGBTQ+ or being an ally means also acknowledging and respecting the dark side of it

[Future Lovers 5,698]

23 minutes ago, BBhomemaker said:

And you need to stop being so harsh on gay people, they have every right to feel frustrated or upset about it. 

Harry style is an artist that plays with the ambiguity of being androgynous, and yes it’s his right and we should respect it. I agree that nobody should force anyone to come out.
Now that being said, he sells a queer image, his brand his based on a non conforming and sexual image, he plays with it, and his fanbase counts a lot of people from the lgbtq+, he have the opportunity and the privilege to express himself as he wants, which a lot of us can’t but surely look up to be as free. He wants to be praised for his difference and art that is literally the reflection of our community, being supported by the lgbtq but doesn’t wanna wear the gay label. Its like yes, buy me, support me but im not like you. It can be seen as some rejection of being perceived or associated with gay men. It’s important to remember that most of us are still ashamed for doing 1/10 of what he does on a daily.

We know that if he comes out it wont change anything about his sales or how the world see him, everyone got it and when you see that artists like Lil Nas or Sam Smith are successful and out, the argument about it being dangerous for his career is not true for him. 
It’s important for gay people to have someone validating or recognizing what himself is showing, and that it’s okay. ..nobody asks for a hero, just honesty. So in a way yeah it does matter. Now he do what he wants and nobody should force him, but people can be frustrated over it. 
 

Being part of the lbgtq or being an ally means also acknowledging and respecting the dark side of it

I don't disagree with many of these points, but this just comes back around to what I mentioned about this growing idea that he has to be an icon for the community simply because he plays around with these themes. That's what I have a problem with. 

Whether people are meaning to or not, they're presenting him with the ultimatum of either come out and use these themes and this imagery freely or stop using it altogether. I understand that the community wants and needs representation desperately. I am in the community like most of us are desperately want to see more representation as well. But we can't force someone to be a representative if that isn't what they want to be. We can't make them do things the way we want them done. We're free to disagree with how they choose to do it, sure, but we do not get to dictate how people choose to express their identity. 

He is consistently being criticized for expressing himself in the way that he feels is most appropriate. There's all this talk about freedom for everyone to express what they feel and who they are however they want, but it all goes away when someone's expressing it in a way that isn't black and white. 

He has said multiple times now that he's not out here to be anything more than himself. He's not aspiring to be a mouthpiece for the community, nor is he attempting to be a leader in the community. All he's done is express himself and what his interests are, it's just that he's chosen to show rather than tell. That's his decision, that's how he feels comfortable, that's how he wishes to be seen and heard. Yet so many corners of the LGBTQ+ community don't seem to want to respect it. 

As for him using it as a selling point...sure, in a few ways it is. I can see being bothered by it. In my eyes it's really no different than what people like David Bowie did or what Adam Lambert, Lil Nas X currently do which is use their sexuality as a part of their brand. The only difference is Harry hasn't declared what his sexuality is, at least not verbally. And that's what the whole thing hinges on, simply the lack of a specific word for it.

Labels are rarely ever for the person they describe, they're almost always for the benefit of others. It is not his responsibility to please others with a descriptor. He doesn't owe anyone a word to describe his identity. 

There is a very clear difference between being bothered by how he's choosing to present all of this and trying to force someone out of the closet. The overwhelming majority of people are doing the latter, not the former. Criticism is fine, but bullying someone over their decision to not label themselves but rather express their identity in other ways is absolutely not. 

And I will absolutely be harsh on gay people when they're being hypocrites. I love being a part of the community, but I'm not blind to the fact that it, like any and all communities, has it's own issues, biases, and problematic attitudes that need to be checked. And I make no qualms about pointing them about because pretending they don't exist will allow them to keep popping up.