Please don't erase Gaga's bisexuality

[HermioneT 1,998]

7 hours ago, LaLa said:

Ugh, this topic always gets me in the gut. I'm a bisexual woman married to a man and people just love to erase my bisexuality and it can be such a source of hurt for me. 

Gaga has said she's bisexual. There is NO NEED for any person to quantify how bisexual they think she is or how bisexual she has to be for it to "count". It sucks people, stop doing it!

THANKS! 

As a bi women in a long term relationship with a male I experience this, too! I mean, I have also only dated men so far, but I have always loved looking at and thinking of women. I personally don't really care if this makes me gay/bisexual/partly gay because I can't see how I would benefit from labeling myself as such.

And I really don't see how it makes a difference to know "how" or "how many %" bisexual Gaga might be in order to consider her a part of LGBTQ or an ally. That's super arbitrary and obviously pretty much against what is important to her.

[crybrowz 3,241]

Skimmed through this thread and saw some people saying "once you're bi you're always bi" which I strongly disagree with. Sexuality is fluid; it can and does change over time. I used to genuinely feel bisexual when I was younger, but now I'm just gay. I think many people misinterpret the phrase “born this way” to mean your sexuality can’t change; I don't agree with the notion that whatever sexual/romantic preferences you are born with always remain static throughout your whole life. 

Gaga may have been genuinely attracted to women at one point, but it could have diminished as she got older. And that's totally fine if that's the case; everyone should be respectful no matter that.  Gaga has referred to herself as an "ally" during the Pulse shooting speech, so I don't think it's fair to criticize people who refer to her as that. And in her RuPaul episode, she made a comment to the contestants about how she will never understand the experiences that gay people go through. And also this post:

All in all I truthfully am not that interested in her sexuality; it really is not that important to me. But I would like to emphasize that just because she has said she is into women at one point does not mean she is obligated to be forever. Maybe she is, and that's great. But in western culture it's really not that uncommon for women in their teens and twenties to experiment with other women and then lose interest as they get older. I think we should encourage everyone to be adventurous and explore their sexuality, and periodically recalibrate if need be, and not criticize them and call them fake if they change their minds. 

Btw this isn't just about Gaga; she could very well still be bi, these are just my thoughts on people in general (such as Jessie J and Nicki Minaj) who get attacked for claiming they were one sexuality at one point and then another years later. I would rather them be upfront about their sexualities than feel like they have to lie about it to keep people appeased. I feel like LGBT people in particular should be understanding of that. Sorry this post was so scatterbrained 

[Massive Monster 4,998]

It's kinda messed up how someone would dare contradict someone on how they feel sexually  

Even if a straight guy sleeps with me (another guy) and still considered themselves straight, I wouldn't go and say "Oh no you are clearly gay or bisexual", let people define how they feel

[Lady Rah Rah 1,990]

You never stop being bi. Trust me, it's totally normal to have a huge preference. Mine changes but mostly I'm more homo than hetero. However there has been men that has made me question that. 

[Massive Monster 4,998]

3 minutes ago, Amphetamine said:

Skimmed through this thread and saw some people saying "once you're bi you're always bi" which I strongly disagree with. Sexuality is fluid; it can and does change over time. I used to genuinely feel bisexual when I was younger, but now I'm just gay. While "born this way" is a cute sentiment and song, I don't agree with the notion that whatever sexual/romantic preferences you are born with remain static throughout your whole life. 

Gaga may have been genuinely attracted to women at one point, but it could have diminished as she got older. And that's totally fine if that's the case; everyone should be respectful no matter that.  Gaga has referred to herself as an "ally" during the Pulse shooting speech, so I don't think it's fair to criticize people who refer to her as that. And in her RuPaul episode, she made a comment to the contestants about how she will never understand the experiences that gay people go through. And also this post:

All in all I truthfully am not that interested in her sexuality; it really is not that important to me. But I would like to emphasize that just because she has said she is into women at one point does not mean she is obligated to be forever. Maybe she is, and that's great. But in western culture it's really not that uncommon for women in their teens and twenties to experiment with other women and then lose interest as they get older. I think we should encourage everyone to be adventurous and explore their sexuality, and periodically recalibrate if need be.  

 

Well said. 

There's just the Born this Way bit I kindly disagree with:

I don't think the song says that sexuality is static. The phrase "I was Born This Way" is a synonym for "yeah, this is who I am, deal with it". It's more to shut up homophobia and so on.

Gaga also explained in some interviews that she believes people and herself can be born and reborn again many times, linking to this idea of fluidity.

I don't think you meant any harm when you defined the song as "cute". But I wouldn't use that word  In 2011 that song was so explicit and risky (and still is in a way), and it didn't follow a "gay trend".  Gay rights, especially gay marriage, weren't the same.  

[crybrowz 3,241]

1 minute ago, Massive Monster said:

 

Well said. 

There's just the Born this Way bit I kindly disagree with:

I don't think the song says that sexuality is static. The phrase "I was Born This Way" is a synonym for "yeah, this is who I am, deal with it". It's more to shut up homophobia and so on.

Gaga also explained in some interviews that she believes people and herself can be born and reborn again many times, linking to this idea of fluidity.

I don't think you meant any harm when you defined the song as "cute". But I wouldn't use that word  In 2011 that song was so explicit and risky (and still is in a way), and it didn't follow a "gay trend".  Gay rights, especially gay marriage, weren't the same.  

Yes you're right and that's how I see it too. I was just referring to how I often see people taking that phrase too literally and assuming that people are born into a certain sexuality and that it can't change. I agree that sexuality can't be changed, but it can change on it's own; if that makes sense. And yes I know what Gaga meant by the idea that we can be reborn and I agree 100%. I wasn't coming after the song, just people who try to use it to paint a static picture of sexuality. I recognize now that it may have come off that way in my post, which I really didn't mean to. My bad 

[Roxanne 591]

I Think she said it for media and attenton in the past, she isn't bisexual

[Killa 17,248]

Erase her sexuality.... Like.. 

She said she is an ally. She clearly doesnt really consider herself bisex, shes in heteronormative relationship and thats okay. Shes fluid in her sex preferences. 

Lets also not put labels. Theres no "real bissex" and more bissex. Technically isnt straight but she views herself as a cis straight woman. Did she said bluntly like that, no. Is it how she insinuates and behaves, yes. 

Does she have doubts. How should we won

Do we have to talk this every other lgbt event or even impose how others should or should not feel about it? I really dont think so. 

[MOT 2,949]

I don't think Gaga's sexuality is any of my business.

Should we not be trying to get away from labelling anyway ? Are labels not a way of othering people, and ourselves ? We are all different, we all have our own unique label, or no label, whichever way you want to put it.

I don't think Gaga is in the business of putting herself in a box with a label on it, other than maybe to label herself as a kindness punk. We should probably all strive for that one.

Sorry if that sounded preachy. Peace and love to everyone.

 

[xoxo Craig 55,649]

7 hours ago, Dukttapetoo said:

She said she wasn't a "gay person" which is a whole can of worms about whether she still considers herself bisexual.

Its not. Gay is gay. Bisexual is bisexual. She isn't a gay womam because she is bisexual 

[sarahb 16,528]

1 hour ago, Amphetamine said:

And also this post:

I assumed she was referring to herself when she said 'our gayness'.  Like I'm trying to interpret this as her referring to herself as one of the 'straights' and it doesn't make much sense. 

[Killa 17,248]

1 minute ago, xoxo Craig said:

Its not. Gay is gay. Bisexual is bisexual. She isn't a gay womam because she is bisexual 

Dear god, no.. She meant  as interested in same-sex. Like gay can coloquially can become an umbrella term like queer, a gay person as opposed to straight. I dont think we need to really lose our brains in terminology. 

4 minutes ago, sarahb said:

I assumed she was referring to herself when she said 'our gayness'.  Like I'm trying to interpret this as her referring to herself as one of the 'straights' and it doesn't make much sense. 

Gay in the sense that lgbt are considered open sexually, and overall non normative. Shes dominating him. 

Overall if she was more clear we woulsnt be making this threads

[xoxo Craig 55,649]

1 hour ago, Amphetamine said:

Skimmed through this thread and saw some people saying "once you're bi you're always bi" which I strongly disagree with. Sexuality is fluid; it can and does change over time. I used to genuinely feel bisexual when I was younger, but now I'm just gay. I think many people misinterpret the phrase “born this way” to mean your sexuality can’t change; I don't agree with the notion that whatever sexual/romantic preferences you are born with always remain static throughout your whole life. 

Gaga may have been genuinely attracted to women at one point, but it could have diminished as she got older. And that's totally fine if that's the case; everyone should be respectful no matter that.  Gaga has referred to herself as an "ally" during the Pulse shooting speech, so I don't think it's fair to criticize people who refer to her as that. And in her RuPaul episode, she made a comment to the contestants about how she will never understand the experiences that gay people go through. And also this post:

All in all I truthfully am not that interested in her sexuality; it really is not that important to me. But I would like to emphasize that just because she has said she is into women at one point does not mean she is obligated to be forever. Maybe she is, and that's great. But in western culture it's really not that uncommon for women in their teens and twenties to experiment with other women and then lose interest as they get older. I think we should encourage everyone to be adventurous and explore their sexuality, and periodically recalibrate if need be, and not criticize them and call them fake if they change their minds. 

Btw this isn't just about Gaga; she could very well still be bi, these are just my thoughts on people in general (such as Jessie J and Nicki Minaj) who get attacked for claiming they were one sexuality at one point and then another years later. I would rather them be upfront about their sexualities than feel like they have to lie about it to keep people appeased. I feel like LGBT people in particular should be understanding of that. Sorry this post was so scatterbrained 

Sexuality is fluid, but only really when it comes to bisexuality. Gay people don't go through their life being attracted to females. And its only really fluid when you are going through puberty. 

Nobody can take away from your own self discovery. But by the sounds of it, you were always gay. And I think a lot of people hop onto the bisexuality label to 'feel safe' in a way before they truly come out. Saying things like "I was bisexual before but now I'm just gay/straight" does erase bisexuality. Its not a phase people go through, you can be bisexuality for as long as you live. And when you get older, it does become slightly more fixed. But not to the point where you are either gay or straight

Gaga has said in more recent years that she does identify with being bisexual, and she said she does like woman. I think that Instagram post you linked is literally just playing on, because she also said in that same year that she fancies woman. She's addressed her bisexuality many many times and she has said she still likes woman. 

Nicki Minaj and Jessie J were using bisexuality to try get the gay community on board with their music... which again is very harmful. 

[xoxo Craig 55,649]

4 minutes ago, Killa said:

Dear god, no.. She meant  as interested in same-sex. Like gay can coloquially can become an umbrella term like queer, a gay person as opposed to straight. I dont think we need to really lose our brains in terminology. 

Gay in the sense that lgbt are considered open sexually, and overall non normative. Shes dominating him. 

Overall if she was more clear we woulsnt be making this threads

Yeah but gay does not necessarily mean liking the same sex. Calling anyone who is bisexual, or pan, or asexual, or queer, 'gay' complete erases their sexuality in my opinion. I wouldn't identify as a gay man, yet I am bisexual. And its my choice to do that. Its probably the same with Gaga. She isn't a gay woman because she has never felt like she is only attracted to the same sex. Which is what a gay woman would be. As I said, gay is gay and bisexual is bisexual.

[xoxo Craig 55,649]

8 hours ago, KatieJudasGaga4 said:

Gaga said she liked women during the Jazz and Piano shows and during the Stonewall speech last year

/thread

thank you