The ‘CATS’ Movie Is a Boring Disaster Filled With Joyless Pussies

[MessyTop 14,389]

https://www.thedailybeast.com/cats-movie-review-calls-it-a-boring-disaster-filled-with-joyless-pussies?source=articles&via=rss

The ‘CATS’ Movie Is a Disaster Filled With Joyless Pussies

Kevin Fallon

I was sold a trainwreck, and I’m annoyed I didn’t get it. 

While the CATS movie is not the unmitigated disaster that trailers and production reportshinted at, it is arguably something much worse. For a movie starring Taylor Swift, Idris Elba, and Jennifer Hudson about a cult of teeny-tiny cats who sing and dance in hopes that Judi Dench will choose them to die, CATSis incredibly, confusingly boring. 

This is a film adaptation of one of the most ridiculous productions in theatrical history. The plot is legitimately out of its mind. You’ve got Dame Judi Dench and Sir Ian McKellencrawling around like cats. The very idea of this movie became its own viral phenomenon. But in a bizarre reversal of tropes, it’s CATS that may kill the curiosity. The thing isn’t even campy, goofy fun. It’s inexplicably joyless and morose.

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Even people who are passionate fans of CATS—bless their hearts—are sheepish in recounting the show’s plot. 
 

A tribe of neglected cats called the Jellicles gather for the Jellicle Ball, at which they decide which one of them gets to ascend to the Heaviside Layer, their version of heaven, and be reborn into a new life. One by one, they introduce themselves with a song that constantly repeats their name. A famous lady sings “Memory” (in this case, that’s Hudson) and a wise cat named Old Deuteronemy (played here by Dench) chooses the winner, who is then sacrificed and everybody goes home.

In other words, the Jellicle cats are a cult. 

It’s deranged, but it’s easy to just go with it when you’re seeing a live production of the show, in which a bunch of chorus dancers dressed in furry leotards with insane feline makeup perform some incredibly difficult choreography while occasionally crawling into the audience.

It became the most popular musical in Broadway history after its debut in 1981. Its original run played 7,485 performances before closing in 2000. A revival in the West End starred Pussycat Doll and underappreciated living legend Nicole Scherzinger, eventually transferring to Broadaway again in 2016 with “Bleeding Love” singer Leona Lewis as Grizabella, the bullied diva cat who belts “Memory.” 

Because of its popularity, it was marketed as a musical for the masses. Because it is legitimately insane, it made an entire generation of people think they hated musical theater. Wait ’til they see this movie!

 

 

[JazzGa 14,621]

This is so upsetting. Just yesterday I posted a comment saying I was looking forward to watching this movie and I used the words "trainwreck" "campy" and "fun" and it turns out... the movie has none of that   

[xoxo Craig 55,649]

Just now, the Devil of Pop said:

This is so upsetting. Just yesterday I posted a comment saying I was looking forward to watching this movie and I used the words "trainwreck" "campy" and "fun" and it turns out... the movie has none of that   

Have you seen it?

[JazzGa 14,621]

Just now, xoxo Craig said:

Have you seen it?

No, I would never risk movie theatre coin$ on this experience  

[xoxo Craig 55,649]

Just now, the Devil of Pop said:

No, I would never risk movie theatre coin$ on this experience  

Oh lmao thats pretty fair    I wonder how it will do at the box office

[JazzGa 14,621]

1 minute ago, xoxo Craig said:

Oh lmao thats pretty fair    I wonder how it will do at the box office

Yeah I was planning to stream it later   Sorry box office numbers

[MessyTop 14,389]

6 minutes ago, xoxo Craig said:

Oh lmao thats pretty fair    I wonder how it will do at the box office

Well, I think the reviews are so bad that is gonna make the public go see the trainwreck, so maybe a hit cause “is soooo bad that is good”???

[Lion Heart 15,041]

The title  

[Bio 23,538]

Cats is literally the worst musical ever made so I’m not surprised

[Lilmonzter 2,864]

Well I saw the trailer and it was meh pass 

Maybe it was not an isolated feeling

[seashellplay 512]

1 hour ago, Bio said:

Cats is literally the worst musical ever made so I’m not surprised

Says the mouse-eared cluckcluck... MEOW MEOW PURRRRRR.

[Bio 23,538]

1 hour ago, seashellplay said:

Says the mouse-eared cluckcluck... MEOW MEOW PURRRRRR.