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A Gaga Story *Trigger Warning: Self-Harm*

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Timmers

Now that Gaga has spoken publicly about her history with self-harm, I would like to share a story with you guys that I shared five and a half years ago before deleting out of respect to her.

In 2014, I went backstage to meet Gaga after artRave. While we were talking, I asked her if she would sign over my scars (I coped with mental illness in high school and for a few years after with occasional cutting). I said "I've been trying to stop, and so I think about it like it's someone else's arm. Like it's a family member or someone else I love. It doesn't always work though. I was hoping you would be okay signing over it so I can get it tattooed, because I could never hurt you the way I hurt myself."

She teared up and took my hand and touched my scars. Then she hugged me at least three times, three very strong loving hugs. She told me she loved me and that she would. And then she rolled up her sleeve and said something like "I used to be there, too. It's been a long time but I know what you're going through. Here, can you see my scars? They're almost gone." And sure enough, there they were.

She held my arm in one hand and tried signing it with the other -- big mistake on our part because there was no way to get a pretty signature that way lol. But when she was holding my arm, she saw a scar farther up, from a suicide attempt when I was 16 or 17. And instead of signing over the scars where I would hurt myself, she signed over the scar where I tried to kill myself.

That is my most beautiful moment with her and I've been tempted to share it with people so many times since 2014. Now I finally can. 

Edit: You can kind of see it in this pic from a couple months ago

4-D39-F569-A08-F-4-AB5-AF4-A-170-F71-A65

Edited by Timmers
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Doot

oprah winfrey GIF

This absolutely heartwrenchingly beautiful. 

So much love to the both of you. Beautiful story, and I am glad that both of you are here.

:hug:

 

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Magui
9 minutes ago, Timmers said:

Now that Gaga has spoken publicly about her history with self-harm, I would like to share a story with you guys that I shared five and a half years ago before deleting out of respect to her.

In 2014, I went backstage to meet Gaga after artRave. While we were talking, I asked her if she would sign over my scars (I coped with mental illness in high school and for a few years after with occasional cutting). I said "I've been trying to stop, and so I think about it like it's someone else's arm. Like it's a family member or someone else I love. It doesn't always work though. I was hoping you would be okay signing over it so I can get it tattooed, because I could never hurt you the way I hurt myself."

She teared up and took my hand and touched my scars. Then she hugged me at least three times, three very strong loving hugs. She told me she loved me and that she would. And then she rolled up her sleeve and said something like "I used to be there, too. It's been a long time but I know what you're going through. Here, can you see my scars? They're almost gone." And sure enough, there they were.

She held my arm in one hand and tried signing it with the other -- big mistake on our part because there was no way to get a pretty signature that way lol. But when she was holding my arm, she saw a scar farther up, from a suicide attempt when I was 16 or 17. And instead of signing over the scars where I would hurt myself, she signed over the scar where I tried to kill myself.

That is my most beautiful moment with her and I've been tempted to share it with people so many times since 2014. Now I finally can. 

 Not long ago i remember you talking about your experience meeting her and a story you both shared. But that you rather keep it to yourself. Totally respected you to keep what you talk with her to you, and now that she shared it publicly you tolds us. It was a very beautiful moment you had with her. I must confess that it's so endearing to me to know how she help you guys, and to be honest you guys helped her back too. That's a bond i respect truly. 

Edited by Magui
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ANTI WP

This is why i f ing love her :kara:

how can somebody ( stans ) able to hurt her feelings ??? 

Always LG

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Doot

It's been 21 minutes and this is still me thinking about this: 

giphy.gif

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xoxo Craig

I love you so much @Timmers and I reall6 admire your strength not only to tell that to Gaga, but to share that with all of us too! You are amazing. Did you get the tattoo over your scars? How are you feeling as of present?

Just always remember that you are amazing! :kara:

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Timmers
13 minutes ago, xoxo Craig said:

I love you so much @Timmers and I reall6 admire your strength not only to tell that to Gaga, but to share that with all of us too! You are amazing. Did you get the tattoo over your scars? How are you feeling as of present?

Just always remember that you are amazing! :kara:

Thank you, you are so ****ing kind :heart: Yeah, I got the tattoo. You can see it on my arm in the pic below. 
 

My most recent suicide attempt was three months before she signed over that scar from a few years before. I haven't attempted suicide since. I didn't self-harm for three years after this encounter, and I haven't self-harmed for almost three years since that slip up. In 2017 I was diagnosed with ADD and Borderline Personality Disorder and I began recovery. I am not neurotypical now, life is still hard, and I deal with overwhelming emotions every single day. But I know how to react to them in a way that doesn't harm myself or others. I went through intense DBT (the therapy Gaga talks about in the interview). It was designed by someone with and for people with BPD. I am good enough now that I actually facilitate a mental health support group in my city. Thank you for asking :kiss:

4-D39-F569-A08-F-4-AB5-AF4-A-170-F71-A65

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Doot

My ex bf's mom had BPD, and I often thought my ex bf had tendencies of it as well. It can be hard.

Stay strong.

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gagasicebath

What a beautiful story and all the kudos in the world to you for not sharing it until Gaga decided to be open about her cutting. I’m so glad you were able to meet her and her words and hugs were a help. Don’t underestimate how much that moment with you probably helped her, she was healing too.

 I’m so glad things are going better for you now, thank you again for sharing this ❤️

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cd9904

Wow, this is a very special moment. Thank you for sharing it with us. :hug: 

I’m glad you’re getting better and better about yourself 

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Robo Ga

I teared up reading this... thank you for sharing, thank you for respecting Gaga's privacy and withholding your story until was appropriate to share, and thank you for your strength. Much love. xox

Bust the rearview and fire up the jets, 'cause it's you and me
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Glamourpuss

This just made me cry. It's such a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing this with us. 

You seem like such a nice person and I'm glad that you're doing so much better now.  :heart:

Serial liker
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DonatellaPop11

This is so beautiful  and sad to see, thank you for sharing your story, rock on, monster :pawsup:

What's Fortnight?
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