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Joanne: The Uncertainty Race


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6 minutes ago, calmar said:

The fact that this is a reverse Season 1 expedition with 2 out of 3 finalists being prior eliminated contestants

This is true.

A cowboy version of Warhol reversed completely

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calmar
Just now, Rumours1977 said:

This is true.

A cowboy version of Warhol reversed completely

lohhhhhhraWWWWW

(instead of yeehaw)

(ignore me)

:selena: 

俺の勝利は揺るぎない
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3 minutes ago, LADYGAGASHOOCK said:

After 44 pages, I have emerged:derpga:

103114-katy-perry-594.jpg?itok=HXYMvo1V&

Did any moments of the competition shock you during your time of silence? :selena:

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LADYGAGASHOOCK
4 minutes ago, Rumours1977 said:

Did any moments of the competition shock you during your time of silence? :selena:

:selena: 

Sadly no:selena:

Let’s just say the taste is like boyfriends:poot: aka non existent:selena:

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RuPaul: Okay, Perfect Illusion. It is time to give your speech. Why should you win Season 3 of Uncertainty Race?

 

PI: Well, there was once a single, a flop lead single if you will. The EDM gheys hated me and said “we got aneurisms that prevented them from watching Wendy Williams for a whole week after seeing your video” or “rockga is a flopga”. However, I persevered. I am here to prove that it doesn’t take chart success or lyrical content to win… it takes lackluster radio interviews.

 

RuPaul: Let us take a look at a recent speech you gave at the United Nations:

 

Do you think this speech represents your values and what the competition stands for?

 

PI: I just think that Pure for Men, twice a day has changed my life. You can get your bottle containing 1230404 pills utilizing the promo code “Perfect Bowell-usion” by visiting the website…

 

RuPaul: Are you doing a brand deal on the finale stage?

 

PI: I just don’t want to be put in a box in what I can or cannot do. Speaking of boxes, did you know squares are related to boxes? Now, let’s talk about SquareSpace, …

 

RuPaul: Okay, thank you Perfect Illusion…

 

We will now open it up to questions from voters. What have you been dying to know about Perfect Illusion? The 10 minuted Q&A begins now…

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calmar

You are one of the two contestants who was eliminated and then brought back, and now are in the Top 3 of RuMours' Song Race. How did you feel about being eliminated? Did you think you would return? What do you have to say to your haters?

俺の勝利は揺るぎない
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2 minutes ago, LADYGAGASHOOCK said:

How does it feel to be the song that damages Gaga’s throat the most?:trollga:

You see, in actuality, I don't damage Gaga's throat the most.

It is scientifically proven that every Italian girl named Stefani has a gallon of thick, spicy marinara sauce built up in the back of her throat.

I, the humanitarian that I am, help her clear her throat of such Italian liquids. That coughing/wheezing/straining that you hear when she sings me is really just a vocal cleanse of sorts.

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calmar
1 minute ago, Rumours1977 said:

every Italian girl named Stefani has a gallon of thick, spicy marinara sauce built up in the back of her throat.

You mean every Italian girl named Stefani has so much marinara sauce in their respiratory tract that it could literally fill an entire lung and then some?

俺の勝利は揺るぎない
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2 minutes ago, calmar said:

You are one of the two contestants who was eliminated and then brought back, and now are in the Top 3 of RuMours' Song Race. How did you feel about being eliminated? Did you think you would return? What do you have to say to your haters?

It was really difficult to process. I had one of the best track records at that point and was even in the Top 3 the week before. I think Howie Mandel was sending money to the Illuminati during the Suitcase Ceremony to get me eliminated.

I think I definitely deserved to come back, as even that demented cowboy John Wayne was still in the competition at that point.

To all my haters: I hope you choke on a pile of Perfect Cleaning soluss-ion

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3 minutes ago, calmar said:

You mean every Italian girl named Stefani has so much marinara sauce in their respiratory tract that it could literally fill an entire lung and then some?

It's a good thing that b*tch Joanne was eliminated early on.

When she sings her, the sauce is able to build to dangerous, Mussolini levels.

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