"How Grindr is affecting gay men’s mental health"

[DutchHooker 8,600]

5 minutes ago, aaronyoji said:

but yeah the racial, self hating sexist attitudes on grinder and others can for sure add to the damage. i get so little responses from guys I'm actually attracted to, and deep down i know its cuz I'm not white. and its hard, feeling rejected over things you can't change. 

Well, you shouldn't be rejected, because of your color and I feel ashamed and so sorry of/for my etnicity, however, as I said, I think I'm not the one who should say I understand you:

 

1 hour ago, DutchHooker said:

Even while I'm white, I see what you mean.. and I see it everytime I log on.. and perhaps I'm doing it too, but unintentional and perhaps it's within my subconsciousness, because I won't say like, "I'm a perfect human being who is not racist", because I think that some people are intentional racists, but I also think that the (white) people who aren't are always unintentional racists, because of the habits and the culture they grew up with. So I'm not a hypocrit and I'm not an intentional racist, but I can't say whether I'm fully not racist or not, do you understand?
 

But still, I hope this mess will end someday and everyone will accept each other, not just color, everything.. 

And I hope you're alright and feeling alright.. 

[DontDoubtDavid 1,196]

Totally agree. I feel depressed going on the app. I never use it to hookup because I’m not about that life, I only use it to find dates and socialize with new people. But it’s so hard to find those type of decent people on the app.

 

And I know this is probably silly, but another thing that bothers me is how the app only gives the option for **** sex (which is not the only type of gay sex). I wish there were other options for “sides” like me, makes finding compatible people very difficult to find...

[Gonzi 2,800]

I honestly feel like it was the cause of a very bad depression/anxiety wave I had last year. I kinda just got into this endless cycle of feeling tempted and then guilty after using it and that just made me feel terrible about myself overall so I quit it for good. 

[LibraLove 1,281]

8 hours ago, Sepsami said:

omg wait  

I was stalking your fb profile for a sec and then I saw a pic of Gaga and was like "omg slae he stans ha aswell" but then I clicked back on GGD and realised I saw u on here in the first place  

 

LOL. Is that a bad thing??  Did you go to my profile from here or just randomly stumble across it somehow? Because if so, then weird, but slay! 

[God Control 2,181]

10 hours ago, Sharyu said:

I personally disagree with many of the things you've stated. Why should someone be sexualized for their color of skin instead of treated like an actual person? Yes there are many people that I wouldn't date due to our attitudes clashing, but why should a man of color be treated less than a white man? Isn't it funny how we fight for equality, but we also discriminate against our own people due their ethnicity?

No one said anything about being treated less than a man. If I prefer one type of man over another that's not "treating him less than a man". Is burger less of a food if you prefer steak? are women less than men if you're gay and prefer men? if I like black man more than white men in terms of dating and sex, does that mean white men are less than black men? If I like someone who's more muscled or more skinny, does that mean one of them is less than the other? absolutely not.

It's not just the attitude and the personality that matter. Looks affect our attraction as well. That's not to say that someone is "ugly" or "supermodel", but each person has their own preference for body shape, color, personality, traits, hell even endowment in men and women do affect one's taste in people when it comes to dating. For me personally, I prefer darker skinned men like black men, arabs and latino men, over white men.  And again, I'm talking about dating and sex, not the way you treat people in everyday life. You're not "sexualizing" someone by being interested in them. You're just attracted to them, which isn't a choice the same way being gay and feeling attracted to men only isn't a choice nor an act of discrimination against women.

[ANVEEROY 65,226]

What should I say! Every day I receive numerous hate messages about my long hair. I don't know why but it's very depressing for me. I mean people can have their preferences, that's fine but why they have to spread hatred? I mean why? 

[Helxig 45,328]

As much as I'd like to add some excitement to my life, I can't bring myself to download Grindr because I know that all the rejection and image-related judgement wouldn't be good for me...  

I don't know much about Grindr, but what I do know is that it's super judgemental. I don't want something where people make a split second decision about my attractiveness, and which way to swipe 

But at the same time, I don't know how the f.uck I'll every find a boyfriend without it so... who knows 

[Helxig 45,328]

3 hours ago, LibraLove said:

LOL. Is that a bad thing??  Did you go to my profile from here or just randomly stumble across it somehow? Because if so, then weird, but slay! 

Probably clicked your Instagram, then clicked your Facebook from there    I just did the same thing on instinct because the links were right there and your Insta is private.

[FATCAT 60,886]

Are we sure that it isn't a correlation instead of causation? You might just be more likely to be on if you're unhappy.

[Helxig 45,328]

1 hour ago, FATCAT said:

Are we sure that it isn't a correlation instead of causation? You might just be more likely to be on if you're unhappy.

That's an excellent point actually. A lot of people who already feel unhappy and unfulfilled turn to dating apps for validation.

[FATCAT 60,886]

9 minutes ago, Helxig said:

That's an excellent point actually. A lot of people who already feel unhappy and unfulfilled turn to dating apps for validation.

Not to mention people in happy relationships aren't going to pop onto Grindr. At least not normally. 

[Babel 41,637]

My anxiety definitely increased while I was using it, and even though I didn't have a "bad" experience, I felt that it wasn't healthy for me at all.

[DeleteMyAccount 11,881]

Yes, but I he didn't mention the fact that can be a super toxic environment even in person like at a bar, event, etc. It's worse for me there as I've been singled out once for my race.

[LibraLove 1,281]

On 4/11/2018 at 5:34 AM, Helxig said:

Probably clicked your Instagram, then clicked your Facebook from there    I just did the same thing on instinct because the links were right there and your Insta is private.

Very conservative family that likes to be nosy. 

[Helxig 45,328]

8 hours ago, LibraLove said:

Very conservative family that likes to be nosy. 

Ha I understand! I keep my Insta private too. And it's 100% not scandalous   I just feel like I have to keep the 'real', full unedited me from my family.