Rita Ora says getting molested at 14 boosted her confidence

[StrawberryBlond 14,862]

I'm digusted and at the same time sorry for her. Because her reluctance to call it abuse show that she truly was groomed and brainwashed. When you're 14, you think you know it all, then you grow up and realise just how inexperienced and young you were. No 14 year old is in charge in a relationship with a 26 year old. EVER. No 26 year old should be remotely interested in a 14 year old. EVER. Saying stuff like how it wasn't abuse because she wanted it is exactly why these pieces of scum who abuse teenagers get away with it because the court rules that the girl "mentally older than her years" and "wanted this just as much." It's sick and upsetting.

"How dare you not be the type of victim that we want you to be Rita Ora. How dare you not validate our victimhood by agreeing that s-x at a young age effects everyone in the exact same way Rita Ora. Your own perspective on your own life experience is nothing more then denial Rita Ora. We know you better then you know yourself, you were a victim like us Rita Ora. To deny your status as a victim denies us our status as a victim Rita Ora, and for that we will not stand."

Thoughtfulness is dead.

It's nothing to do with that. AT ALL. We're telling her to realise it's abuse so victims of abuse can get their attackers jailed.

The more realistic we are about teenage s-x, the more likely we are to pass moderate sensible laws that don't end up ruining the lives of some 18 year old who ends up on the s-x offender registry because they had s-x with someone 3 years younger and it came out.

It wasn't teenage s-x - that's s-x between 2 teenagers. Don't confuse the two.

[thatfoxyfeeling 13,017]

It's not abuse if it was consensual, I lost my virgnity at 14 to a guy I met off Gaydar (before Gridnr existed) and he was 24. I got the train to meet him and went back to his apartment, he didn't force me into anything and I was s-xually mature for my age. 

[Kacey Elizabeth 900]

It's not abuse if it was consensual, I lost my virgnity at 14 to a guy I met off Gaydar (before Gridnr existed) and he was 24. I got the train to meet him and went back to his apartment, he didn't force me into anything and I was s-xually mature for my age. 

Please tell me you are just joking! 

[thatfoxyfeeling 13,017]

Please tell me you are just joking! 

No, why would I joke about that? 

[Serendipity 7,821]

It's not abuse if it was consensual, I lost my virgnity at 14 to a guy I met off Gaydar (before Gridnr existed) and he was 24. I got the train to meet him and went back to his apartment, he didn't force me into anything and I was s-xually mature for my age. 

I pray that you come out of your denial

[GawdGa 1,399]

yikes rita 

dont try to give molestation a good name 

[Mobster 14,604]

It's not abuse if it was consensual, I lost my virgnity at 14 to a guy I met off Gaydar (before Gridnr existed) and he was 24. I got the train to meet him and went back to his apartment, he didn't force me into anything and I was s-xually mature for my age. 

It might not have been abuse and you might have been mature for your age... but he didn't know.. he knew you were 14 and even if it wasn't abuse, it was completely irresponsible and not to mention morally incorrect for him to agree to that... most 14 year olds are still going through puberty and it basically would mean taking advantage of their innocence and hormonal awakening

[Whispering 18,865]

It's not abuse if it was consensual, I lost my virgnity at 14 to a guy I met off Gaydar (before Gridnr existed) and he was 24. I got the train to meet him and went back to his apartment, he didn't force me into anything and I was s-xually mature for my age. 

It is abuse, because a 14 year old cannot give their consent to an adult several years older...at least not in most countries.

I assume Rita was in the UK when this happened and that means that she was not old enough to give her consent to a 26 year old, therefore it was not a consensual act. 

[thatfoxyfeeling 13,017]

I pray that you come out of your denial

How am I in denial? It's not affected me emotionally or mentally, I wasn't forced into anything and it's what I wanted. I want to elaborate that it was my decision to meet this person and I'm completely aware of the stigma associated with this, but in no way was my 'innocence' taken away from me since I had already experiemeted at a younger age and was comfortable with my s-xuality. I remember watching a film called Clapham Junction (great film), there is a character who is 14 and has s-x with an older man - the 14 year old is in control of the situation and I could relate myself to that character.

[Serendipity 7,821]

How am I in denial? It's not affected me emotionally or mentally, I wasn't forced into anything and it's what I wanted. I want to elaborate that it was my decision to meet this person and I'm completely aware of the stigma associated with this, but in no way was my 'innocence' taken away from me since I had already experiemeted at a younger age and was comfortable with my s-xuality. I remember watching a film called Clapham Junction (great film), there is a character who is 14 and has s-x with an older man - the 14 year old is in control of the situation and I could relate myself to that character.

Do you realize you could have sent your partner to imprisonment for statutory rape?

[StrawberryBlond 14,862]

It's not abuse if it was consensual, I lost my virgnity at 14 to a guy I met off Gaydar (before Gridnr existed) and he was 24. I got the train to meet him and went back to his apartment, he didn't force me into anything and I was s-xually mature for my age. 

First off, you shouldn't even have been on that site at your age. Dating sites are for adults. In order to register on this site, you therefore had to lie and say you were 18. Which meant that the guy you met likely thought he was meeting an adult, unless you said to him you were 14 before you went? If you told him you were legal but weren't, like Clean said, you could have got him imprisoned for statutory rape (this is something very serious that is vastly underestimated by people who lie about their age in order to have s-x). But regardless of whether he knew your real age or not, I highly doubt a 14 year old could pass as 18. You don't think it was wrong for a 24 year old to be interested in a 14 year old? If you confessed your real age but he still wanted to meet you and do things with you, then he was committing a crime. And I don't mean to guilt trip you, but he could still be out there, doing this to other naive young boys (I sincerely hope he's been caught). This is why it's so important for you to realise this was abuse. If we start defining abuse as having grey areas and making exceptions, it'll be harder for these creeps to get caught and get punishment, allowing them to do this again. I'm sure you will look back on this differently one day. I've seen a lot of comments on this story from other victims of much older partners and they all say the same thing - it took them years to wake up to the reality of the situation. Some of them didn't realise it until they got married and had children.

I'm glad that you haven't experienced any negative repercussions but you need to realise that most people in your situation cannot say the same. The law is in place to protect those who don't have a choice. And we need to have an age law so we can draw a line somewhere. If we took an "anything goes" approach to whoever can have s-x and based it on their maturity rather than age, it would be a disaster. A clear cut definition that leaves no room for interpretation or opinion (i.e. age) is there for a reason. Anyway, I'm glad that you don't seem to have suffered any ill effects after your experience. But understand that you were very lucky.