PBS: Parents, use this Lady Gaga video to talk to your sons about rape

[Bebe 17,289]

Of course the statistics suggest otherwise but I think that is only because a majority of cases involving a man who has been raped rarely gets reported let alone documented.  We should teach both men and women about rape, it's not necessarily gender specific, there's not a 'rape switch' in the male brain so personally for me education on the subject should be for the masses. 

Well you would be wrong on that first part, the majority of cases involving women who are raped are underreported and documented. To the at least the same degree.

The University of Rochester found reporting rates for women to be as low as 16 percent.

The National Institute of Justice and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, RAINN reports that while 1 in 6 American women would experience attempted or completed rape in her lifetime, American males experience a likelihood of 1 in 33. Taking into account that the vast majority of rape involving men are committed by other men,  it's understandable why the focus is on them.

There isn't a rape switch in the male brain, I don't think anyone would suggest that, but we live in a rape culture where certain 'types of rape' are not seen as legitimate, male perpetrators are often protected and female victims are shamed and presumed to be lying or exaggerating.

Changing that culture starts with educating men about rape. Teaching women is good, but they are the vast minority of rapists. I would encourage teaching girls about rape, but it's not going to make a huge dent in the occurrence of rape in a culture that protects male perpetrators and silences female victims.

The focus of this article is on teaching males, not because of a belief that men are evil, but because the vast majority of rapists are male.

[AgusPop 4,162]

Only the Queen

 

[Bebe 17,289]

I'm also just going to quickly add, on the topic of whether this article should have mentioned male victims and female perpetrators, that if we got to a stage where the amount male/female survivors were roughly equal and the amount of male/female perpetrators were equal then it would make more sense to focus on both genders equally.

While the vast majority of survivors are female and an even larger majority of perpetrators are male, it makes a lot more sense to focus on female victims and male perpetrators.

Bringing more attention to educating men on rape and changing a culture that protects male rapists while shaming female survivors makes more sense at this point then ignoring the huge discrepancies in the occurrence of m/f rape compared to f/m rape and treating the issue as if the problem for both genders is equally widespread and culturally significant.

[Yves 1,891]

They really should take this opportunity.  

[ItsTommyBitch 12,640]

Oh, yeah, I understand it's their specific cause and all, I just don't like the generalization of rape as a male on female crime or the portrayal of men as s-xually disturbed pigs who need to be trained to keep their hands to themselves (which this could easily be twisted into saying )

You shouldn't have to teach your boys to not rape. If you instill them with common decency and respect for other people then rape won't be an issue for them unless they end up being a victim.

I disagree. I'd argue that many people are taught a general level of respect for other people and what not already... its a problem of rape culture when we dont see certain acts as "rape" or even "disrespectful". Plenty of rapists were taught to respect people, im sure... 

There are mixed messages we teach young boys especially about s-x and their role as "men" in society that can sometimes entirely contradict the whole message on respect. Some people may not see it as an act of disrespect, but rather just following the general consensus on what their gender role is supposed to do and how they should behave  I think when confronted with the cognitive dissonance from the two messages you are told: "Respect women" and "Be a Man" -- and seeing that "Be a man" can popularly include being rough with women, being a breadwinner, objectifying women, having a lot of s-x with women and doing w.e it takes to get it, etc. etc (depending on how you were raised and who you were raised around...)

It can be hard to reconcile the two notions, so we subconsciously look at one half of the equation and say "well, that must be acceptable, its just what men do; its part of being a man" in order to quell the dissonance.
I personally think teaching children the concept of consent, bodily autonomy, and their own anatomy from the get-go is a good starting point  

[Kayla 7,595]

Focusing on one part of the problem doesn't mean we're casting out other aspects of the problem. No, women are not the only gender raped and it is not always men doing the raping. That doesn't make TIHTY any less valid or the concept of teaching young men the importance of consent any less helpful.

From the CDC: http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_report2010-a.pdf
Estimated Number of Rape Victims (In the US) 75,014,000
Women: 21,840,000
Men: 1,581,000 

Estimated Number of Other Sexual Violence (In the US)
Women: 53,174,000
Men: 25,130,000 

"Most perpetrators of all forms of s-xual violence against women were male. For female rape victims, 98.1% reported only male perpetrators. Additionally, 92.5% of female victims of s-xual violence other than rape reported only male perpetrators. For male victims, the s-x of the perpetrator varied by the type of s-xual violence experienced. The majority of male rape victims (93.3%) reported only male perpetrators. For three of the other forms of s-xual violence, a majority of male victims reported only female perpetrators: being made to penetrate (79.2%), s-xual coercion (83.6%), and unwanted s-xual contact (53.1%). For non-contact unwanted s-xual experiences, approximately half of male victims (49.0%) reported only male perpetrators and more than one-third (37.7%) reported only female perpetrators (data not shown)."

Lots of numbers and a--lyses in the spoiler.  

This means that of those 21,840,000 rapes where females are the victim, 21,425,000 of those rapes are carried out by men- the majority.
Of those 53,174,000 cases of other s-xual violence against women, 49,185,000 were caused by a male perpetrator- the majority. 

Of the 1,581,000 rapes where males were the victim, 1,475,073 were carried out by other men- the majority.
From the 25,130,000 total for estimated number of other s-xual violence:
Made to Penetrate: 5,451,000; 4,317,000 caused by female perpetrator.
Sexual Coercion: 6,806,000; 5,689,816 by females.
Unwanted Sexual Contact: 13,296,000; 7,060,176 by females. 
Non-contact Unwanted Sexual Experiences: 14,450,000; 7,080,500 caused by male perpetrator.

When you add this all up: 
We have 101,725,000 cases of s-xual violence committed against men and women.
Of those 101,725,000 cases,
87,651,508 were caused by a male perpetrator. 86%.
14,073,492 were caused by a female perpetrator. 13%.

75,014,000 acts of s-xual violence are committed against women. 73%.
26,711,000 acts of s-xual violence are committed against men. 26%.

When 86% of s-xual violence is committed by males, but only 50% of the population is male, then yes- more conversations need to happen teaching men how to s-xually interact with others. This doesn't mean women don't ALSO need these conversations, but it's clear which gender needs more help here. 

When 73% of s-xual violence is committed against females, while most of our teaching about rape has been geared towards teaching women to "protect themselves," clearly that's not working. We've been telling women to wear certain clothing, use the buddy system, don't drink too much, never leave a drink uncovered, etc. and rape remains a crime where a vast majority is carried out by men, on women.

 

[Enhsa 2,043]

Anyone can rape and anyone can be a victim of rape.

[RAMROD 117,020]

Queen of Sex Ed

 

[Blackwillow 2,200]

It is true tbh, it's a great message  

just like born this way

[Ronk 14,930]

Gaga continues to use her reach to help people, as she has been doing her entire career.

[StrawberryBlond 15,563]

Yes, this is exactly what should be done. It's nonsensical to teach girls how to avoid getting raped but not teach boys about how rape is wrong. I know I was never taught about anything to do with rape at school and based on experiences from those who have, most of them say that the boys were sent out of the room during the talk and all of them said that there was no explaination offered about consent and no mention of how rape doesn't just occur in dark alleys with a stranger. It's no wonder that so many girls end up being coerced into s-x with a boyfriend but not think it's rape because they're together and/or have already had s-x. Or think that it's not rape if the guy was attractive and you liked him at first.

It's not about teaching boys not to rape - I think that's far too morbid. It's about teaching boys about consent and boundaries. Boys are taught to be respectful. Boys already know that rape is wrong. But some still do it anyway. You'll notice how males suddenly come over all super serious when the subject changes from female rape to male rape. They start talking about how the jail sentences should be higher and that more needs to be done in general. The switch to a far more serious tone almost suggests that they see male rape as worse, not equal to, female rape, and that's very problematic. Intentionally or not, there's seems to be a disturbing undercurrant of "it won't be as bad for women to get raped because, consent or not, s-x is an enjoyable thing." There is undeniably a culture in our society where men feel they are entitled to women's bodies and some even see them as products to be used. Growing up with p0rn, raunchy music video, movies and video games, strip clubs all over the joint and even legalised prostitution in some places, it's no wonder that boys grow up with mixed messages and not understanding where respect ends and disrespect starts. We teach them to be respectful...but if a culture of s-x is the norm, they'll think that is respectful because it's legal and accepted. If all their friends are shouting comments at girls and groping them, they'll think it's normal and might even do it too. And this can lead to bigger, far more serious things.

But I must add, there is absolutely nothing wrong with offering girls advice about how to protect themselves from predators. It's extremely important and you can't be a strong, independent woman if you're stumbling home drunk off your face, with no credit in your phone and no money. Girls need to learn what behaviours predators make a beeline for if they want to alter their chances. I've done this since I was 16 and nothing bad's ever happened to me because of it (though I know luck does play a role) and I feel strong because I'm alert and know what I'm about. No preventative measure is foolproof but it can dramatically alter your chances. It's wrong to decide not to teach girls any of this because it's considered slut shaming and putting the blame on them if they get assaulted. It's nothing to do with that - it's about general personal safety, no different to suggesting that you should lock your doors to prevent being robbed. Yes, we shouldn't have to live in a world where women have to take such protective measures, but the point is...we do. So we need to educate both genders equally.

[Nicole 1,809]

Rape is not a gender specific issue. But statistics show, even taking into account the vast amount of under reporting, that it is a gendered issue. Focusing on the majority is not ignoring the minority. 

[Miel 15,009]

Let's not forget that men can also be victim of rape too.  The article doesn't really display that, more so just pushes all the blame onto men.  Anyone can be the victim regardless of race, gender, s-xuality or location. 

Of course the statistics suggest otherwise but I think that is only because a majority of cases involving a man who has been raped rarely gets reported let alone documented.  We should teach both men and women about rape, it's not necessarily gender specific, there's not a 'rape switch' in the male brain so personally for me education on the subject should be for the masses. 

I agree that s-xual assault education must definitely be assuaged heavily to all genders, and that the underreporting of male s-xual assault is disgusting.

But, it is still disproportionately a gender-tilted issue.

 

[LoveandMagic 1,731]

I'm so glad this song is having such a positive impact. We need to educate the youth about these issues. Parents and guardians are the best people to do it, but it would be nice to have schools and other people that are looked up to (like celebrities) to give it some attention, so I'm glad Gaga and Diane got together on this project. I also wish there were more defensive courses in college (for both men and women) to teach self defense techniques. 

I've encountered far too many people that have been victims of s-xual violence. Those scars last. 

Yes! Unfortunately I think, as a culture, we spend more time telling women to watch what they wear, group together, watch their drinks and avoid walking in the dark rather than educating our young men about rape and s-xual violence.

It's also a topic I find is often left out in s-x-ed classes in schools, even if they are among the better s-x-ed classes.

Unfortunately, yes. Men-on-women s-x crimes can't ever fully be the man's fault because of the whole "boys will be boys" mentality that is so prevalent (and insulting) in our culture. Men are human beings fully evolved to be capable of rational thought, not some sub-human animal that can't control themselves and only act on impulse. 

Let's not forget that men can also be victim of rape too.  The article doesn't really display that, more so just pushes all the blame onto men.  Anyone can be the victim regardless of race, gender, s-xuality or location. 

You're exactly correct. Everyone should protect themselves and learn the potential warning signs. And, should one become a victim, they should receive full support and compassion.

[GHGUY 230]

Oh, yeah, I understand it's their specific cause and all, I just don't like the generalization of rape as a male on female crime or the portrayal of men as s-xually disturbed pigs who need to be trained to keep their hands to themselves (which this could easily be twisted into saying )

You shouldn't have to teach your boys to not rape. If you instill them with common decency and respect for other people then rape won't be an issue for them unless they end up being a victim.

the thing people don't rape because they are s-xually starved... In fact I forget the statistics but in high school I learned that over 90% of rapists have a regular s-xual partner... People rape because it's an act of dominance over the other person