Redstreak 6,653 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Many dating apps help perpetuate what people scorn about LGBT: promiscuity, impersonal behavior, and compromised interpersonal connection Notification: You have 12 new matches! When I get home from work and realize the silence of the end of the day, I open one of the many dating or s-x-based apps I have  programs that provide literally thousands of people for me to choose from as a possible match to my personality. I assume that I am like most people on these apps: ultimately seeking a lasting relationship. Coming out as gay in my hometown of Muncie, Indiana, was not an easy thing to do, so I didn’t. Like many LGBT folk, I flocked to a liberal university in a liberal city to feel accepted, but I found gay communities closed-off to LGBT youth. We all crave connection and intimacy, but there is nowhere for freshly out young gay men to connect. Feeling alone in a big city, walking from building to building without making a connection, I desperately wanted to meet like-minded individuals, but I found myself resorting to these apps to do that. But instead of advancing the gay agenda of inclusion, I found the apps to perpetuate what people scorn about LGBT: promiscuity, impersonal behavior, and s-xually motivated conversations. This is not the fault of the LGBT community, but these depersonalized conversations are what lead to depersonalized relationships. When an introduction to gay culture is through a s-x-based app, it perpetuates the s-x-based stereotype. Because LGBT still face shame and disownment, our coming out is plagued with fear that we will lose those we love, which leads to a shame-based idea of relationships. Each dating app focuses on a different demographic, with OkCupid, Tinder, and Grindr thriving as probably the three most popular in the mainstream gay community. OkCupid is for the romantics looking for dates, Tinder is where you browse pictures and compare common Facebook interests before deciding to meet; and Grindr allows one picture and a brief description for guys who are looking for temporary company. I never thought of approaching dating through this screening process, but many people inadvertently find themselves becoming a part of the hook-up culture. Compared to traditional dating methods, these apps provide many advantages: you save time on bad blind dates and boring conversations, you can connect to someone anytime you feel lonely, and if you are rejected you simply move on to the next person. But because there are thousands of people at your fingertips, it also creates a society of oversharing, superficiality, and instant gratification. You are on the grid 24/7 and you must advertise yourself. And there’s a paradox of choice: be careful who you choose, because there might be someone better out thereâ€â€always. Gay men want those perfect relationships that we see in romantic-comedies, instead of the ultimate fear of our generation: being alone. But there is nowhere that is not s-x-based to connect. LGBT are still considered outcasts of society. Homos-xuality, while popularized by the media, is still considered dangerous to teach to our kids. The way to solve this is through education. The history of talking about s-xual orientation to children has been one of fear, regret, and ignorance. We need informed parents who understand how to support gay youth. We need college-aged LGBT to actively work their state’s capitals for gay marriage, harassment laws, and transgender equality. Most importantly, K-12 children should be taught about s-xual orientation in an open, direct, and engaging way encouraging normalcy and assimilation. If we can openly discuss it, LGBT can defeat the s-x-centered stereotype. This generation will determine the course of healthy relationships while using future connection forums such as Ello or Hinge. If people feel supported during their formative years rather than making s-x a dirty and scary thing, there won’t be a need to change our values because we are LGBT. There won’t be a need to comprise ourselves for connection. http://time.com/3510261/hook-up-apps-destroying-gay-relationships/ Thoughts? Take a moment to think of just flexibility, love, and trust~ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
homomo 23,883 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Agreed with every single word. Especially the second last paragraph 0110100001100101011011000110110001101111 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anomaly 161 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I agree entirely. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
melodichard 3,769 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I met my boyfriend on Tinder, and he's awesome but I do think dating apps do more bad than good for the gay community Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey 3,017 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Hm, interesting. But Grindr is no different from Tinder. What's the harm in a D? "I am the world's greatest person that does not want to let people into the country."—US President Donald J. Trump Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psychedelic 1,098 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Promiscuous people don't complain about people who's not into Promiscuity... I don't understand why it's not the same situation, all the way around! Live and let live... LGBT community shouldn't be labeled prosmiscous just because there are promiscuous members in it. There are plenty of promiscuous heteros-xuals and no one labels them promiscuous as a whole. This is ridiculous!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benji 20,113 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 @Redstreak you already know my opinion from ggd, I'm sitting this one out and going to watch the replies Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redstreak 6,653 Posted October 17, 2014 Author Share Posted October 17, 2014 Promiscuous people don't complain about people who's not into Promiscuity... I don't understand why it's not the same situation, all the way around! Live and let live... LGBT community shouldn't be labeled prosmiscous just because there are promiscuous members in it. There are plenty of promiscuous heteros-xuals and no one labels them promiscuous as a whole. This is ridiculous!!! Well for many looking in, and even by many gays, hook-up culture can sometimes seem like the ONLY thing that's offered in the form of intimacy by the community. Sure that's not necessarily true but it's pervasiveness is what gives it the stereotype, being promiscuous isn't a bad thing though @Redstreak you already know my opinion from ggd, I'm sitting this one out and going to watch the replies Should I make you some popcorn? Take a moment to think of just flexibility, love, and trust~ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaggedMonster 2 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Have they heard of Tinder for the str8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benji 20,113 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Should I make you some popcorn? Bring me an XL Pepsi Max too please, I'll need the caffeine for when it comes to replying Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaggedMonster 2 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 In reality the gay hookup app hurt the gay night life more because less ppl are going to clubs/bar to meet ppl since its much easier and less work to just log-in and find ****/ass 5ft away Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psychedelic 1,098 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Well for many looking in, and even by many gays, hook-up culture can sometimes seem like the ONLY thing that's offered in the form of intimacy by the community. Sure that's not necessarily true but it's pervasiveness is what gives it the stereotype, being promiscuous isn't a bad thing though :trootea: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jed 7,716 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Grindr can bring individual gay men together but it definitely doesn't bring a community together. All the homophobia and discrimination that's within the LGBT community manifests itself there. Sure you can get a blowjob from a cute guy once in a blue moon, but when 14 really cute guys from your school don't answer you, you can feel like you're not worthy of love. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psychedelic 1,098 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 In reality the gay hookup app hurt the gay night life more because less ppl are going to clubs/bar to meet ppl since its much easier and less work to just log-in and find ****/ass 5ft away When I go clubbing, I do it for the sake of wanting to dance my ass off... shame on people who only go out for hook-ups! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valextra 58 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I'm totally agree. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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