Shadow 6,548 Posted February 6, 2014 Author Share Posted February 6, 2014 If I'm 100% honest, I don't really understand bis-xuals myself. I'm just so used to being attracted to only one gender, so I can't imagine what it would be like to be attracted to both. Plus, she basically said she could only be *in love* with a man. So that makes it even more confusing.. I think people who are straight or gay won't understand naturally for the very reason they are natural in their s-xuality. Imagine someone who has the same attraction or affection for either s-x depending on where they are on the s-xual spectrum. Straights and gays are unable to imagine anyone who is unlike them. It's harder to relate to or take seriously with that mindset. However, the world is a bigger place than you or me. People come in all shapes and sizes. If people feel attracted to both, they are bis-xual by definition. That is how they are just heteros-xuals only yearn for the opposite s-x and homos-xuals go for the same. The same can be said of the T community as well, but that is another discussion. Call no man happy until he is dead. -Solon, Herodotus's Histories Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomorescheisse 0 Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 As a queer/bi person myself, I do feel a lot of pressure to have to PROVE my s-xuality, which is very difficult to do. First off, many people think you can't be in a monogamous relationship and be bis-xual at the same time. Second, it's hard for me, as a woman, to find other queer women, especially ones who are willing to get involved with someone who also likes men. As a result I'm mostly with men, but that's not because I'm straight; it's because our heteronormative/patriarchal society pushes people like me in that direction. Also, it seems that bis-xual men are assumed to be actually gay, while bis-xual women are assumed to be actually straight. Why is that, really? It frustrates me to no end. This is why I rarely tell people about my identity. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow 6,548 Posted February 6, 2014 Author Share Posted February 6, 2014 I think it sucks being bi (hello people, I am too). Just because she's with a man means that she's straight now in the eyes of the world, including the gay community. But that isn't stopping her s-xual attraction to both genders. I also get crap from my own friends. I'm bi and getting married to a girl next month. So now I'm automatically a lesbian because I'm marrying one? It's called committment people. Just like my bestie being married to a guy doesn't mean she stopped being attracted to the ladies. It's bull**** and I can attest to dealing with this treatment myself. Also, some people think Gaga lies about being s-xually attracted to women. I also think that people can be bis-xual but NOT biromantic. As in s-xually attracted to both genders, would and could have s-x with either, but are only romantically involved with one gender. To me, bis-xuality has more to do with what you are attracted to, and less to do with who you actually date. Obviously, if you are homos-xual, you can only be homoromantic, since you wouldn't even dream of being romantic with someone you couldn't be with s-xually lol. Thus ends my rant. The b---h is bi. Deal with it. The lgbt community needs to accept everyone included in their acronym. I'm sick of it. Very interesting terms and thank you for sharing your insight. While I like the terms homoromantic and biromantic, the very nature of romance is in commitment to a soulmate. I guess you could say that someone biromantic has the capacity to fall in love with either gender. However, once they make that decision, it locks them into monogamy. Thus, the outside world sees "straight" if they marry the opposite s-x and "gay" if they go with the same. So all the while, people will find it hard because they fail to credit that initial capacity of that choice of the individual getting romantically involved. The other issue people miss and get, depending on their perspective, is that who they have s-x with or fall in love with is their business, and thus private by nature. Call no man happy until he is dead. -Solon, Herodotus's Histories Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow 6,548 Posted February 6, 2014 Author Share Posted February 6, 2014 I think it's because bis-xual people can /technically/ get married in all states (if they marry the opposite s-x) I've had gay people say to me "You don't count, you can get married anywhere! I can't! You don't understand me!" and Of course i ****ing don't. I'm not them so I'll never fully understand them but Its like people don't see that you can be bi and lean towards the same s-x. I don't know, a lot of people don't "believe" or "understand" bis-xuals and it makes no sense? It's like "I need to see you with both genders to accept you" and thats so stupid. I think it's just that these overdramatic gay ****heads just want to demean what Gaga has done for them and that they don't want to accept that MAYBE someone of that much influence was ALSO doing it for themself. And also I think they don't get that you can be bis-xual and can be PHYSICALLY attracted to both genders, but not romantically attracted to both. Which might be Gaga's case and that's why they don't except it That line of thinking is dumb, you're right. They are talking about people in their own community who support gay rights and gay marriage. Instead of this jealousy, the gays need to stop this whining within their ranks and strive for the bigger picture of what really matters for everyone included. Yes, that is what I think bis-xuality encompasses, because the very onset of s-xuality is attraction. If both s-xes physically attract one to the point that they would engage in s-xual relations with either and enjoy the s-x, it's bis-xual. Who they get romantically involved with does not negate that attraction, it just establishes their affections. Call no man happy until he is dead. -Solon, Herodotus's Histories Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow 6,548 Posted February 6, 2014 Author Share Posted February 6, 2014 I think you're spot on! People who identify as bis-xual (or other nonbinary identities) tend to be rejected from both straight people and the gay community and are often asked to "prove" their s-xuality due to the belief that bis-xuals are actually either straight or gay and simply calling themselves bi for attention or other reasons. There are tons of negative stereotypes and attitudes about people who identify as nonbinary (they're promiscuous, "I'd never date one because there's too much competition/because they've been with the opposite/same gender!", "I don't get it, they're weird!" etc.) Thinking this way is actually a LOT more common than you'd think, even within the gay community and specifically on GGD... I've seen a lot of negativity about bis-xuality here (and every identity that's not "cis gay male" ) which is especially sad considering Gaga identifies as bis-xual. Many people here still deny how Gaga identifies herself. It's always tough watching some interviews with her because she's been asked so many times before to speak about her s-xual experiences with women to "prove" that she's bis-xual :roll: The B and T in LGBT are invisible depending on who you're talking to. Thank you for sharing that! It's so true how it seems bis-xuals and trans-xual, transgendered community get even more alienated. No one should have to "prove" something so sacred and private to the individual to be accepted and respected. Call no man happy until he is dead. -Solon, Herodotus's Histories Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow 6,548 Posted February 6, 2014 Author Share Posted February 6, 2014 I don't think the situation is necessarily limited to "bis-xuals." There's just a certain portion of homos-xuals who feel that they don't need this random pop star acting as their spoke person. Some homos-xuals just genuinely don't like her as well, and do think she's a rip off of Madonna or perhaps just milking the homos-xual community to gain publicity. Many people also believe(d) that she is not truly bis-xual and that she just says it to be considered part of their community. They think that since she is a woman who is primarily attracted to men, she doesn't understand what it's like to be a homos-xual and to haver endured the struggles they have endured. It goes back to that notion of a pop star being a spokesperson for a minority group. That being said, plenty of straight up "gays" don't like Gaga nor do they welcome her into their community for those same reasons. It has nothing to do with bis-xuality, really, but more of a sense of unrelatability, I presume. She's a pop star standing in the center of the spotlight, in a relationship with a man, just as most of her other primary relationships have been. Those people who do not consider Gaga part of their community feel that she can't relate in that aspect because she is in a healthy relationship with the opposite gender and has had a majority of her relationships with that gender for the entirety of her life, thus not having to deal with the same alienation that they had to deal with. The spotlight makes everything ten times heavier as well. Since she is such a public figure, her role in the situation is immediately subject to debate. Of course, I'm not saying her bis-xuality is the sole cause of her alienation. However, it does appear a factor within a community she supports so adamantly. You did a good job of presenting all the idle issues people use to judge her just as they judge within their own, judged just like they get as whole as minority in society. Call no man happy until he is dead. -Solon, Herodotus's Histories Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow 6,548 Posted February 6, 2014 Author Share Posted February 6, 2014 I have experienced this my entire life as I have always been very open(even with family) with being Bis-xual. I have been told I am confused... "it's just a s-x thing" (that really gets me as I have had relationships and love with women too) just to name a few. I have also been told I can't be Bi since I am married... well that is just plain silly isn't it? I was talked crap to by straight people and gay people and not really accepted by either. Even my gay friends now like to make fun of me and make me the joke...MIND you I don't hang out with them as much as I used to only because people grow apart and such. I find it baffling and always have that I some how don't fit in with either "group" in the end I don't care..I am who I am. I have loved women and men... I have had s-x with with both ..I have lived with both.... It really is NOT confusing at all TBH That's just my story. I always love to say I get the best of both worlds... MORE FOR ME I wont even get into being married and having GF's..that's another topic that people dont get with us.... ;) Sorry to hear how you and others in this thread have struggled this pincer attack from both sides. Thank you for sharing your story and I'm glad to hear how strong you are and brave to be yourself, uncompromising to others even those you had considered your friends. It takes a resilient person to stand against adversity and loving who you are in spite of that. :hug: Call no man happy until he is dead. -Solon, Herodotus's Histories Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hauser 1,262 Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 I think there should be nothing up for debate. Its really silly for people to assume that bis-xuality is just a phase or stepping stone to fully coming out as gay. Bis-xual people exist, some prefer the opposite s-x more than the same s-x. A bis-xual person dating a person of the opposite s-x does not make them any less bis-xual than a gay man dating a woman because he is in the closet, he is still gay. If a person identifies as bis-xual, we shouldnt be questioning them or assuming that they are promiscuous or any other unfounded idea. They are still part of the lgbt community. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GagaMyBlood95 9,915 Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 I appreciate everything she's doing for the LGBT community! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepy 5 Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 Well, I get what she means by only in love with a man. I'm gay but I can see when a girl is attractive (obviously.) But one reason I couldn't see myself with being with a girl, aside from me just not wanting them s-xually, is because I want a cute strong boy to hold me when i'm sad and protect me. I just wouldn't get that satisfaction from a girl. If this makes any sense? :smh: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laceface 2,964 Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 Also, it seems that bis-xual men are assumed to be actually gay, while bis-xual women are assumed to be actually straight. Why is that, really? It frustrates me to no end. This is why I rarely tell people about my identity. :worship2: Thank god people in this thread feel the same, that's something we can all take from this Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyoftheDam 4 Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 :worship2: Thank god people in this thread feel the same, that's something we can all take from this I agree; I'm so glad seeing people articulate themselves on here about all the double standards or criticism that we all face in reference to our s-xual identities! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dc1993 1 Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 Im bis-xual and I've had a meaningful relationship with a girl and am currently in the an even more meaningful relationship with a guy. I was / am in love with both of those people - but I can also understand bis-xual people who merely enjoy s-xual relationships with both genders. I don't get why people use the "I could only really ever love a man" quote against her s-xuality, making out that she's actually just straight and "curious" or something, that's bull****. She's very male-orientated 99% of the time - as far as we see in her work and her personal life - so I suppose people have a very straight image of her. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dann 354 Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 i 100% agree! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Featured Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.