MTN MV monologue

[bpmMonkey 7,528]

"And that girl on the left she ordered gummy bears and a knife a couple of hours ago, they only gave her the gummy bears.

I'd wish they'd only given me the gummy bears.

You may say "I lost everything". But I still had my Be-Dazzler."

does this means she tried to kill herself? The "only" is weird to me. You'd say "id wish they'd given me the gummy bears" if she wanted them. You'd put the "only" in front of the entire phrase "[only]wish they'd given me the gummy bears" to modify the subordinate clause, saying it's her only wish. Having "only" in front of the verbal clause implies they gave her 1+n things. We know one of the things (gummy bears) the other we can assume was a knife. So why would she wish they didn't gave her a knife? Looking at the sentence that follows, it makes me wonder.. 

what do y'all think. Im in between sets at the gym and started spiraling. Probably reading way too much into it or I'm just missing the obvious since English ain't my first language

 

[Juanlittlem 49,198]

Yeah, Ive always taken that as a way of her saying she selfharmed herself.

[Ophelia 5,361]

I've always read this more as "they put me under the knife and gave me the gummy bears" = she underwent a procedure, possibly

Spoiler

abortion

 

[Freud 5,897]

I actually always thought it's a metaphor of her first "Label" dropping her + "backstabbing" her.

At 2:25 you can see the nurse checking out a wound at Gaga's back - probably from the knife she took by the label, and therefore wished, she only got the gummybears...

 

Would make sense, as the adress of Interscope record can be seen at the end, and the whole video of "Marry the Night" is about overcoming the darkness to reach the light again. 

 

Edited 13 hours ago by Freud

[GerMonsterNotta 2,128]

[River 126,418]

1 hour ago, Ophelia said:

I've always read this more as "they put me under the knife and gave me the gummy bears" = she underwent a procedure, possibly

  Hide contents

abortion

 

Yeah, and to add to that, Alice always felt like she's speaking from the fetus perspective and through that she's dealing with her self blame and trauma of that moment.

[bpmMonkey 7,528]

Thanks girls! I thought I was tripping 

[Lucas 30,801]

Yeah I always interpreted it that way, she hurt herself with the knife and later regretted it

[Lucas 30,801]

1 hour ago, River said:

Yeah, and to add to that, Alice always felt like she's speaking from the fetus perspective and through that she's dealing with her self blame and trauma of that moment.

I never watched Alice in Wonderland... wtf is fetus perspective? Sometimes I can't tell if y'all are trolling or if that's actually a real thing 

[Ladle Ghoulash 50,242]

2 hours ago, Ophelia said:

I've always read this more as "they put me under the knife and gave me the gummy bears" = she underwent a procedure, possibly

  Hide contents

abortion

 

Genuinely kind of shocking how little discussion there’s been about the opening sequence clearly refers to her undergoing that procedure (“no intimacy for two weeks”) since she told the story about it in 2021.

[River 126,418]

40 minutes ago, Lucas said:

I never watched Alice in Wonderland... wtf is fetus perspective? Sometimes I can't tell if y'all are trolling or if that's actually a real thing 

I always saw it like the last thoughts before it's death, I know it's weird, but it's so coded in the lyrics

"would u pull me out of this alive?"

"where's my body I'm stuck in my mind"

(Oh ma-ma-ma, oh ma-ma-ma)
I'm tired of screaming
(Oh-ma-ma-ma, oh-ma-ma-ma)
At the top of my lungs
(Oh my mother, oh my mother)
I'm in the hole, I'm falling down, down
So down, down

 

I mean the "oh my mother" there, makes no sense in the song, she's obviously not speaking about Cynthia.

So I see like they are screaming to her (gaga) and begging not to die and fall into the hole, to the oblivion and disappear forever.

I don't like to speak about much because it's disrespectful to Gaga, but it always made me feel like it's such a personal song and the beginning of her trauma as a whole and that's why it's the first song in chromatica (minus the intro but u get the point lol)

[Freud 5,897]

6 hours ago, Ladle Ghoulash said:

Genuinely kind of shocking how little discussion there’s been about the opening sequence clearly refers to her undergoing that procedure (“no intimacy for two weeks”) since she told the story about it in 2021.

Yeah, rewatching MTN after knowing what happened to her, when she opened up to it in 2021, is kind of baffling. 

I think the clinic in MTN is the clinic for artists that had horrible things happen to them in the music industry. Therefore gaga had to have an abortion + she got backstabbed by her label prior. 

[Ladle Ghoulash 50,242]

5 hours ago, River said:

I always saw it like the last thoughts before it's death, I know it's weird, but it's so coded in the lyrics

"would u pull me out of this alive?"

"where's my body I'm stuck in my mind"

(Oh ma-ma-ma, oh ma-ma-ma)
I'm tired of screaming
(Oh-ma-ma-ma, oh-ma-ma-ma)
At the top of my lungs
(Oh my mother, oh my mother)
I'm in the hole, I'm falling down, down
So down, down

 

I mean the "oh my mother" there, makes no sense in the song, she's obviously not speaking about Cynthia.

So I see like they are screaming to her (gaga) and begging not to die and fall into the hole, to the oblivion and disappear forever.

I don't like to speak about much because it's disrespectful to Gaga, but it always made me feel like it's such a personal song and the beginning of her trauma as a whole and that's why it's the first song in chromatica (minus the intro but u get the point lol)

Genuinely interesting interpretation and honestly fits into some thoughts I have about TAOPC that I haven’t really been able to fully articulate, but basically: if you view the trauma Gaga experienced in those early days as a loss of innocence narrative and the moment that the split happened between EtherealGa and the Mistress, I think it makes the tension between the two characters even more dynamic.
 

The Mistress being the part of her that absorbed the trauma in a way that motivated her to fight and make what she lost feel worthwhile (à la MTN’s “I’m gonna be a star because I have nothing left to lose”) and her dissociating from the more “innocent” part of herself that experienced the trauma in a more vulnerable way. With that in mind, when EtherealGa “wakes up” inside the gothic dream created by the Mistress, I think part of the journey is integrating the ways the Mistress’ pursuit of fame has compounded the original trauma and trying to heal, which is where I think Chromatica lives thematically.
 

Long way of saying: I’m interested in how, in your interpretation, her internalized perception of the voice of her hypothetical child is potentially reflected in the more innocent/childlike/vulnerable side of herself she buried (literally in TAOPC, figuratively irl) in order to succeed and how Alice could be going back and allowing that part of herself to be “reborn” and mature within the world of Lady Gaga. Without getting into full blown essay territory, I also think it’s not insignificant relative to the abortion/loss of motherhood/loss of innocence throughline that in the BTW video, which is also, imo, the origin of the Mistress vs. EtherealGa storyline, also features Gaga both as a mother to herself and her fans, which in the context of an acute trauma that undoubtedly effected how she perceived her own relationship to motherhood, potentially reflects a more fully integrated vision of Gaga as a figure that protects the more vulnerable side of herself and, by extension, her fans.

Not trying to pathologize her career + artistry around a core trauma, but I do think it’s an interesting lens through which to interpret her work

Edited 4 hours ago by Ladle Ghoulash

[River 126,418]

8 minutes ago, Ladle Ghoulash said:

Genuinely interesting interpretation and honestly fits into some thoughts I have about TAOPC that I haven’t really been able to fully articulate, but basically: if you view the trauma Gaga experienced in those early days as a loss of innocence narrative and the moment that the split happened between EtherealGa and the Mistress, I think it makes the tension between the two characters even more dynamic.
 

The Mistress being the part of her that absorbed the trauma in a way that motivated her to fight and make what she lost feel worthwhile (à la MTN’s “I’m gonna be a star because I have nothing left to lose”) and her dissociating from the more “innocent” part of herself that experienced the trauma in a more vulnerable way. With that in mind, when EtherealGa “wakes up” inside the gothic dream created by the Mistress, I think part of the journey is integrating the ways the Mistress’ pursuit of fame has compounded the original trauma and trying to heal, which is where I think Chromatica lives thematically.
 

Long way of saying: I’m interested in how, in your interpretation, her internalized perception of the voice of her hypothetical child is potentially reflected in the more innocent/childlike/vulnerable side of herself she buried (literally in TAOPC, figuratively irl) in order to succeed and how Alice could be going back and allowing that part of herself to be “reborn” and mature within the world of Lady Gaga. Without getting into full blown essay territory, I also think it’s not insignificant relative to the abortion/loss of motherhood/loss of innocence throughline that in the BTW video, which is also, imo, the origin of the Mistress vs. EtherealGa storyline, also features Gaga both as a mother to herself and her fans, which in the context of an acute trauma that undoubtedly effected how she perceived her own relationship to motherhood, potentially reflects a more fully integrated vision of Gaga as a figure that protects the more vulnerable side of herself and, by extension, her fans.

Not trying to pathologize her career + artistry around a core trauma, but I do think it’s an interesting lens through which to interpret her work

She opened up about her SA and the pregnancy during the Chromatica era, in 2021, it was a very vulnerable moment and I think for the first time, she was the innocent, vulnerable, 19 years old Stefani, not the performer, the artist, the camp, she was as fragile as a human who lives with a trauma can be and back to the day where she didn't understand how showbiz works and how dark it can be.

I believe that moment where she finally started to deal with it happened through Alice, she was able to dig deep into herself and speak out about what happened to her.. the song always felt unfinished for me, like there is more there, maybe she simply couldn't finish wiritng it because it was too much for her mentally.

 

[bxr 1,980]

1 hour ago, Ladle Ghoulash said:

Genuinely interesting interpretation and honestly fits into some thoughts I have about TAOPC that I haven’t really been able to fully articulate, but basically: if you view the trauma Gaga experienced in those early days as a loss of innocence narrative and the moment that the split happened between EtherealGa and the Mistress, I think it makes the tension between the two characters even more dynamic.
 

The Mistress being the part of her that absorbed the trauma in a way that motivated her to fight and make what she lost feel worthwhile (à la MTN’s “I’m gonna be a star because I have nothing left to lose”) and her dissociating from the more “innocent” part of herself that experienced the trauma in a more vulnerable way. With that in mind, when EtherealGa “wakes up” inside the gothic dream created by the Mistress, I think part of the journey is integrating the ways the Mistress’ pursuit of fame has compounded the original trauma and trying to heal, which is where I think Chromatica lives thematically.
 

Long way of saying: I’m interested in how, in your interpretation, her internalized perception of the voice of her hypothetical child is potentially reflected in the more innocent/childlike/vulnerable side of herself she buried (literally in TAOPC, figuratively irl) in order to succeed and how Alice could be going back and allowing that part of herself to be “reborn” and mature within the world of Lady Gaga. Without getting into full blown essay territory, I also think it’s not insignificant relative to the abortion/loss of motherhood/loss of innocence throughline that in the BTW video, which is also, imo, the origin of the Mistress vs. EtherealGa storyline, also features Gaga both as a mother to herself and her fans, which in the context of an acute trauma that undoubtedly effected how she perceived her own relationship to motherhood, potentially reflects a more fully integrated vision of Gaga as a figure that protects the more vulnerable side of herself and, by extension, her fans.

Not trying to pathologize her career + artistry around a core trauma, but I do think it’s an interesting lens through which to interpret her work

This also reminds me of … Trigger (?) … I think that was the demo from a comparative while back …