Do you agree with this stance to my FB friend and family?

[BARKDANGER 855]

I wrote this on my Facebook this morning, do you agree/think it's valid? Or am I just paranoid?

 

"For most of the "friends" I have on this social media page, remember, I met most of you way before Trump came into the political arena. And I consider all of you friends and family still, and I appreciate our political differences. That's what makes America great! I totally recognize the results of the election, and don't doubt the results nor do I think it was tampered with nor rigged. Trump won. 

First was Roe V Wade for women. 

Though in my case, as someone YOU know as a married gay man, I would appreciate it if you don't GLOAT about the Trump victory. Like I said, I acknowledge his election victory and agree the people of America spoke. While your liberties may not be in jeopardy, being part of the LGBTQ+, mine are. I feel that queer people are next. I have never wished nor voted for anything that took liberties away from others. But most of America voted to take liberties away from me. Once that president is set, there's no stopping it. Sure it was women rights first, maybe it's LGBTQ+ rights next, then maybe next it is your rights. Time will tell. 

A frog can adapt in boiling water until it's too late. Time will tell. 

And if you disagree with my personal fears, or can not listen to my options, as I have yours, perhaps we were never truely friends, or shouldn't have been. 

Xoxo"

THOUGHTS?

Edited November 7 by BARKDANGER

[Didymus 34,379]

I would stop after "While your liberties may not be in jeopardy, being part of the LGBTQ+, mine are." The rest kind of just reads like you're trying to lecture and morally humiliate them and it corrodes the power of the message.

[Reality 72,116]

I don't see what there is to disagree about. You could've gone harder on your friends/family imo

It's incredibly saddening and unfortunately all too relatable to know that there are family and friends in each and every one of our lives that continually support such a bigoted and hateful man. To be completely honest, I will forever look at those in my life with disdain knowing that they, deep down, don't care about me at all. 

[RenegAde 18,280]

Anyone who is gloating over trumps win probably voted for him for these very reasons or they knew all this and voted anyway. Don't think most of them will listen or care much about your sentiments.

[BARKDANGER 855]

11 minutes ago, Reality said:

I don't see what there is to disagree about. You could've gone harder on your friends/family imo

It's incredibly saddening and unfortunately all too relatable to know that there are family and friends in each and every one of our lives that continually support such a bigoted and hateful man. To be completely honest, I will forever look at those in my life with disdain knowing that they, deep down, don't care about me at all. 

I want everyone I know that I consider friends/family that I respect their vote, however I hope they know the consequences that it may have on others. I had to tell my dad that he legit voted against his daughter and gay sons (me) rights and future. 
 

I have felt so conflicted, upset, saddened, empathetic, understanding, etc. My emotion they were so mixed to the point that I'm so conflicted and confused. 
 

One thing that I won't accept is backstabbed love. I just want to point out my dad love his children so much. But my dad didn't do his research before my he voted. When I got off work, I called him, I broke it down what he voted for- and he seemed blindsided. So I'm like- WTF. 

Edited November 7 by BARKDANGER

[JoanneMonster 8,631]

call me radical but voting for that person is not a “political difference” that should be appreciated nor does it make america great

If your dad loves his children so much then he couldve thought about you before voting, instead of literally not thinking about the consequences for the people that he loves

Edited November 7 by JoanneMonster

[Didymus 34,379]

25 minutes ago, Reality said:

It's incredibly saddening and unfortunately all too relatable to know that there are family and friends in each and every one of our lives that continually support such a bigoted and hateful man. To be completely honest, I will forever look at those in my life with disdain knowing that they, deep down, don't care about me at all. 

I know from experience how tempting it is to believe that but it is not true. People don't actively think of their friends or family as "part of the LGBTQ+ community" or representing it. They project onto those concepts what they're taught by social media and then they exclude you out of the negative framing, because they actually do care about you and see you as a lot more of a complex character than that.

I always compare it to buying an iPhone. We all know somewhere in the back of our minds that when we buy an iPhone, we are not just profiting off of but investing in child labor and the systematic violation of human rights. Period. And yet we find a way to not confront ourselves with that because having an iPhone means something different to us. We would say it's not personal, we are not actively saying "I want children to work in factories" but somehow our actions do enable that, and critics would justifiably be able to say that none of our personal attachment to iPhones matter and that, by deciding to buy an iPhone, we are oppressors who support child labor and we do not have the right to claim otherwise.

I can predict how we all would respond: with humiliation probably covered up with anger and denial. Same thing happens when you think of Trump voters as racism, misogyny and homophobia enablers. If we do that we do not respect that other people have their own internal logic for their vote and, as damaging as that vote can be, that is valid for them. Only then can you have a sensible conversation about politics with family and friends, I reckon. We all have to move beyond stereotype to show up for the people we care about.

Edited November 7 by Didymus

[BARKDANGER 855]

1 minute ago, JoanneMonster said:

call me radical but voting for that person is not a “political difference” that should be appreciated nor does it make america great

I'm confused, could you perhaps reword that? 
 

I appreciate political differences. But a person that is so toxic and legit has a following that has a name "Maga" is wild to me. 
 

I can't recall a president that had a name for his followers in my lifetime that acts as a fan base. That seems like a cult. 

[JoanneMonster 8,631]

Just now, BARKDANGER said:

I'm confused, could you perhaps reword that? 
 

I appreciate political differences. But a person that is so toxic and legit has a following that has a name "Maga" is wild to me. 
 

I can't recall a president that had a name for his followers in my lifetime that acts as a fan base. That seems like a cult. 

“And I consider all of you friends and family still, and I appreciate our political differences. That's what makes America great!”

 

In my opinion, someone who actively votes against your rights is not your friend. Friends take care of eachother. Also, I dont see how someone can appreciate “political differences” such as banning abortion or supporting a r4pist, that doesnt make america great. As I said, maybe I’m very radical, but I wouldn’t want anyone with that mindset near me, I prefer to live around people that believe in equality and in basic human rights.

 

 

[BARKDANGER 855]

10 minutes ago, JoanneMonster said:

call me radical but voting for that person is not a “political difference” that should be appreciated nor does it make america great

If your dad loves his children so much then he couldve thought about you before voting, instead of literally not thinking about the consequences for the people that he loves

I'm sorry, it's been a long day, and my brain did not process that correctly. I totally get it now. 

My bad. I went to work at 8am and my brain is fried. Sorry to have wasted your time. 

[JoanneMonster 8,631]

1 minute ago, BARKDANGER said:

I'm sorry, it's been a long day, and my brain did not process that correctly. I totally get it now. 

My bad. I went to work at 8am and my brain is fried. Sorry to have wasted your time. 

no problem, sending love to you guys in the US

[BARKDANGER 855]

Just now, JoanneMonster said:

no problem, sending love to you guys in the US

I legit woke up and saw the results and cried. I live in Maryland, which is overall a blue/ progressive state. But unfortunately live in a Trump territory of the state. I basically sobbed and collapsed in my husbands arms before work and then drove past so may Trump signs. And kept crying, thinking all this people don't want me to exist. 
 

Got to work, and my kind women boss asked me how I was, and it triggered me, and had to leave the office for a few moments. Luckily my work is in mental health, so she totally understood my reaction. So at least my work is a safe space. 

[Reality 72,116]

4 minutes ago, BARKDANGER said:

I want everyone I know that I consider friends/family that I respect their vote, however I hope they know the consequences that it may have on others. I had to tell my dad that he legit voted against his daughter and gay sons (me) rights and future. 
 

I have felt so conflicted, upset, saddened, empathetic, understanding, etc. My emotion they were so mixed to the point that I'm so conflicted and confused. 
 

One thing that I won't accept is backstabbed love. I just want to point out my dad love his children so much. But my dad didn't do his research before my he voted. When I got off work, I called him, I broke it down what he voted for- and he seemed blindsided. So I'm like- WTF. 

I can relate in some ways to my mom. My dad is a hardcore Trump supporter and he's long gone. He's not necessarily ignorant either. I mean, I believe every Trump supporter is ignorant to some degree, but he knew full well who Trump was and what he stood for.

My mom voted for Trump both in 2020 and 2024, but she is extremely ignorant. Like, shockingly so. I guess I should mention that both my parents are immigrants from the Philippines, so she is not well-versed in American history. Hell, she admits she's not versed in Filipino history either. But sometimes she will say just some of the most inane, idiotic things that make me want to shake her and be like "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" 

Sometimes I wish I could just sit her down and educate her, but she's also incredibly stubborn. I want to be empathetic and understanding, but it's so difficult to do so. My mom, like your dad, loves her children very much. Like, so, so much. But I will never look at her the same way knowing that she has such bigoted beliefs.

I applaud you for speaking to your loved ones with grace and courtesy though. I wish it was something I could do.

1 minute ago, Didymus said:

I know from experience how tempting it is to believe that but it is not true. People don't actively think of their friends or family as "part of the LGBTQ+ community" or representing it. They project onto those concepts what they're taught by social media and then they exclude you out of the negative framing, because they actually do care about you and see you as a lot more of a complex character than that.

I always compare it to buying an iPhone. We all know somewhere in the back of our minds that when we buy an iPhone, we are not just profiting off of but investing in child labor and the systematic violation of human rights. Period. And yet we find a way to not confront ourselves with that. We would say it's not personal, we are not actively saying "I want children to work in factories" but somehow our actions do enable that. It's complicated and there are no easy answers. But crafting these stories about people's lack of caring based on our own emotions is certainly not the answer.

I understand what you're saying, but I think at some point, some of these things are just basic empathy and compassion. It's very much a "If it doesn't affect me or the people I care about, I don't care about them" mentality, and I just find that so depressing and inhumane.

I'm speaking from my own experience here, but when it comes to my family, they might care, but feels very conditional. And truthfully, that is why I chose to look at them with disdain. Maybe it's extremely cynical of me to do so. Maybe it's wrong. But it's a coping mechanism for me. They care about me to some degree, but their care only goes so far when they consistently denigrate people like me. Yes, they look at LGBTQ+ people as this amorphous thing and exclude me from it occasionally, but when their beliefs directly contradict your existence, it's difficult to be like "Well, they just don't understand. Maybe they will someday." They might care because they see that I'm more complex than the stuff they hear, but if they can't apply that same thinking to other people, I just don't know how to combat that. Again, it's just basic empathy and compassion that these people lack.

[BARKDANGER 855]

13 hours ago, Didymus said:

I know from experience how tempting it is to believe that but it is not true. People don't actively think of their friends or family as "part of the LGBTQ+ community" or representing it. They project onto those concepts what they're taught by social media and then they exclude you out of the negative framing, because they actually do care about you and see you as a lot more of a complex character than that.

I always compare it to buying an iPhone. We all know somewhere in the back of our minds that when we buy an iPhone, we are not just profiting off of but investing in child labor and the systematic violation of human rights. Period. And yet we find a way to not confront ourselves with that because having an iPhone means something different to us. We would say it's not personal, we are not actively saying "I want children to work in factories" but somehow our actions do enable that, and critics would justifiably be able to say that none of our personal attachment to iPhones matter and that, by deciding to buy an iPhone, we are oppressors who support child labor and we do not have the right to claim otherwise.

I can predict how we all would respond: with humiliation probably covered up with anger and denial. Same thing happens when you think of Trump voters as racism, misogyny and homophobia enablers. If we do that we do not respect that other people have their own internal logic for their vote and, as damaging as that vote can be, that is valid for them. Only then can you have a sensible conversation about politics with family and friends, I reckon. We all have to move beyond stereotype to show up for the people we care about.

That is good analogy. Though my father should be smart enough to listen to his child of 34, with the many conversations we had before the election. It should not have surprised him when I said you basically set both you children- gay boy and straight daughter with multiple children, and a (SA victim) to be in the future. After a 30 minute conversation, he came around a little and I didn't realize all the factors. My dad is a great guy, and would put his life on the line for us (unless his Christian values interfere and conflict.) He's just not smart as I want him to be. He's in his 60's but he when to college for 8 years. He was a funeral director for over 20 years, so he knows grief and pain- yet shows no remorse for a while. Make me think he is a victim of the "Maga" cult. How can you not understand that electing a person that vile, with those in your face comments, a Puerto Rican half son- hateful statements about woman and LGBT people (aka your kids without thinking about the best for your kids or grandkids.) it's just baffling. And all he is worried about is that Kamala said hateful things about Christians at her last rally (ummm no she didn't, I know for a fact, cause I watch Philly for Gaga), and then when I asked him for proof, he was like don't put me on the spot with the exact info.
 

 I can't help but to think it's a case of "invasion of the body snatchers.) I'm ranting and I'm sorry.

im just scared, confused, numb, conflicted- and Trump isn't even in office until January  

 

Edited November 7 by BARKDANGER

[faysalaaa 3,072]

I just dont take peoples vote personally or seriously, and I dont see it as them voting against me.