The Velvet Rage

[Vincem 380]

Ok, so I just started reading The Velvet Rage, a book about overcoming the pain of growing up gay in a straight man's world and GURL, it is completely changing the way I see myself and the gay community. I feel seen like I have never been before and I wish any gay man could read this book. It explains SO MUCH of our ways of living. How we are so deeply shameful of who we are and how we superficially try to get over this shame, unsuccessfully. 

Have anyone of you read it? 

[BBhomemaker 5,611]

Yes ! I read 8 chapters, i take breaks between each one to take the time to meditate on it, i take notes.

It's so strong emotionally how deep and true it gets, the hardest part is to actually acknowledge the truth and face it. I learnt so much about myself, my behaviour, my needs.. about others gay men and the hard standards we impose ourselves, the loop that we are blocked into and people's perspective toward us (relation with our fathers, friends, school).
It's amazing how the author knows exactly where to touch. I wanted to start that book after i saw one member here recommending it, i was so full of envy and sadness.. after exploring the book i realised that i was enrage, now i feel new yet the same old me, i face issues differently and identify my reaction more easily too. I still have a lot to work on but i felt like i needed to go through it as a young gay man starting his "adult" life. 

[JohnDeWayne 211]

Yes, an essential read for every gay man. Helped me to understand myself and my traumas so much better

[Lanadelduck 1,921]

1 hour ago, Vincem said:

Ok, so I just started reading The Velvet Rage, a book about overcoming the pain of growing up gay in a straight man's world and GURL, it is completely changing the way I see myself and the gay community. I feel seen like I have never been before and I wish any gay man could read this book. It explains SO MUCH of our ways of living. How we are so deeply shameful of who we are and how we superficially try to get over this shame, unsuccessfully. 

Have anyone of you read it? 

I read it like 8 years ago. Need to again 

[TheSine 6,090]

I haven't read it, but from the looks of it I might have to. It seems like an intriguing book. Where is it avaliable?

[QueenMortuana 1,019]

It's a great book! It definitely doesn't fit for all gay identities and experiences but I found a lot of the content applicable to things I went through.

[Borisapillar 8,193]

Changed my life.

[Vincem 380]

2 hours ago, QueenMortuana said:

It's a great book! It definitely doesn't fit for all gay identities and experiences but I found a lot of the content applicable to things I went through.

Exactly, I'm a french canadian living Québec, far from the glamorous lifestyle of San Francisco. Lots of situations are typically american, but deep down, the need of unauthentic validation, dealing with shame and the coping mechanisms are the same. It's crazy. 

I just raged quit Grindr thinking to myself there's no way I was gonna keep fleeing my feeling of loneliness this way anymore. I'm going to face it... and I hope the motivation lasts more than the usual three days. Lol.