WHY YOUR FAVES KILL? S1 WINNER: FRANCH TOAST

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Ororo Munroe said:

SUSPECT #12

MUNCHLAX

@Munchlax

Munch Munch everyone, my name is Munchlax! Yes, I am indeed a talking Pokémon, Meowth isn’t the only one that has the ability to talk like a human. A little bit about me; I’m known as the “Big Eater Pokémon”, so you can imagine the hobbies I enjoy partaking in consists of anything to do with sweet, delicious, sneccsy FOOD. I have dined at only the finest restaurants around the world, including Joanne Trattoria even during their rat problem, which I helped fixed by devouring their queen @Rat Boy. I’ve also visited every single one of Gordon Ramsay’s restaurants around the globe. I take pride in being Chef Ramsay’s “favourite customer” because when I go to his fine establishments, I usually order the entire menu and then yell at his staff to bring me more. It tickles him when I harass and abuse them as much as he does. Anyway, that’s enough about me for now. I’m here at Sia’s charity event tonight because, uh, well.. To be honest, I’m just here for the food. I hope you all don’t plan on eating much because I also brought some Tupperware with me tonight so I can bring whatever’s left that I don’t eat from the buffet, home with me and if anyone has a problem with that, I will hyper beam your ass out of here! I’m a growing Pokémon that needs to eat so I can one day become a big, fat Snorlax.

[Franch Toast 26,034]

Somehow I missed that there was a Katy Perry concert involved in this game. 

[Rahrahbitchson 17,588]

3 minutes ago, Ororo Munroe said:

SUSPECT #11

LADY GAGA

@Mother of Puppies

Hey sisters, this is Lady Gaga! I've been super busy lately with filming iconic movies and singing jazz - I've been singing jazz since I was 13 and I've always wanted to be an actress - even before I wanted to be a singer!

I loved the food and free drinks tonight - Katy's concert not so much though. And I just wanted to say that I had nothing to do with the tragedy that occured, because I'm all about kindness . 

So whoever did this, come out, be kind and go the **** to jail! 

But is she ITALIAN OR NO?

[Teletubby 140,025]

[alsemanche 92,257]

1 minute ago, A MESS said:

i'm improvising some artistic performance for you all

lemme join you bestie

 

[Hyperobject 66,771]

SUSPECT #13

MICHAEL JACKSON

@PartySick

Hi, I'm Michael Jackson but you all may know me as the King of Pop, the Gloved One, or simply El Hee Hee. I was born in Gary Indiana to a large family in a small home and grew up to influence every one of your faves. Oh, you don't think I did? Check again.

The only reason I accepted the invitation to this performative little charity event thing is because I heard Lady Gaga was coming and I want my damn jacket back. She's been ducking me all night though. If that hussy thinks she can just take my clothes, wear them to a Hillary Clinton rally, and get away with it then she's been hitting the Jesus juice too hard.

I stopped hearing 13 inch high heels clip-clopping away and knew I had lost her for now so I decided to sit and eat with a few drag queens that I had never met before. The wait staff Sia hired was the best part of the whole thing honestly. My waitress was great. I think she said her name was Annie? Beautiful lady. Anyway, I only ate half the food she put in front of me 'cause these drag queens started talking about how bad they sweat under their outfits and it was giving me flashbacks to the 1980s when I briefly dated Madonna.

I almost gave up looking for Gaga and decided to leave but then Katy Perry started singing. Can you believe she matched and even nearly broke the record I've held for 30 years? Because I can't!

All I could think about while she was singing about kissing a girl was how much my bisexual daughter, Paris, would love to be here...and how much I wished she was here instead of me. But she's off shooting for American Horror Story.

Speaking of horror stories, Katy was about to sing another song but we managed to dodge that bullet. But Sia sure didn't dodge hers, it seems. Now there's blood on the dance floor...and an ugly wig and gun. Damn. There's a killer, chiller, thriller on the loose. Almost makes me want to scream. So dangerous. I hope this smooth criminal will leave me alone. Billie Jean. Let me go make sure that pretty waitress is ok.

Annie, is you good?
Annie?

Is that Gaga?! BITCH COME BACK HERE!

HOW ARE YOU SO FAST IN THOSE STILTS?! I WILL MOONWALK DOWN EVERY HALLWAY TO FIND YOU! GIVE ME MY SH*T!

[CyanDante 5,901]

2 minutes ago, CyanDante said:

Hey, are you Italian, by any chance? 

 

2 minutes ago, Rahrahbitchson said:

But is she ITALIAN OR NO?

[Anveeroy 57,989]

 

[CyanDante 5,901]

1 minute ago, Ororo Munroe said:

SUSPECT #13

MICHAEL JACKSON

@PartySick

Hi, I'm Michael Jackson but you all may know me as the King of Pop, the Gloved One, or simply El Hee Hee. I was born in Gary Indiana to a large family in a small home and grew up to influence every one of your faves. Oh, you don't think I did? Check again.

The only reason I accepted the invitation to this performative little charity event thing is because I heard Lady Gaga was coming and I want my damn jacket back. She's been ducking me all night though. If that hussy thinks she can just take my clothes, wear them to a Hillary Clinton rally, and get away with it then she's been hitting the Jesus juice too hard.

I stopped hearing 13 inch high heels clip-clopping away and knew I had lost her for now so I decided to sit and eat with a few drag queens that I had never met before. The wait staff Sia hired was the best part of the whole thing honestly. My waitress was great. I think she said her name was Annie? Beautiful lady. Anyway, I only ate half the food she put in front of me 'cause these drag queens started talking about how bad they sweat under their outfits and it was giving me flashbacks to the 1980s when I briefly dated Madonna.

I almost gave up looking for Gaga and decided to leave but then Katy Perry started singing. Can you believe she matched and even nearly broke the record I've held for 30 years? Because I can't!

All I could think about while she was singing about kissing a girl was how much my bisexual daughter, Paris, would love to be here...and how much I wished she was here instead of me. But she's off shooting for American Horror Story.

Speaking of horror stories, Katy was about to sing another song but we managed to dodge that bullet. But Sia sure didn't dodge hers, it seems. Now there's blood on the dance floor...and an ugly wig and gun. Damn. There's a killer, chiller, thriller on the loose. Almost makes me want to scream. So dangerous. I hope this smooth criminal will leave me alone. Billie Jean. Let me go make sure that pretty waitress is ok.

Annie, is you good?
Annie?

Is that Gaga?! BITCH COME BACK HERE!

HOW ARE YOU SO FAST IN THOSE STILTS?! I WILL MOONWALK DOWN EVERY HALLWAY TO FIND YOU! GIVE ME MY SH*T!

Not @PartySick writing a whole ass biography! 

[Anderson123 36,439]

The quality of the plastic bag and photos inside omfg. I love this fanbase.

[Hyperobject 66,771]

SUSPECT #14

ARIANA GRANDE 

@Flippy

*yuh*

 

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, CyanDante said:

Hey, are you Italian, by any chance? 

 

3 minutes ago, Rahrahbitchson said:

But is she ITALIAN OR NO?

Did any of you bring any spaghetti?

I’m starving. 

[weed 72,017]

6 minutes ago, Ororo Munroe said:

SUSPECT #12

MUNCHLAX

@Munchlax

Munch Munch everyone, my name is Munchlax! Yes, I am indeed a talking Pokémon, Meowth isn’t the only one that has the ability to talk like a human. A little bit about me; I’m known as the “Big Eater Pokémon”, so you can imagine the hobbies I enjoy partaking in consists of anything to do with sweet, delicious, sneccsy FOOD. I have dined at only the finest restaurants around the world, including Joanne Trattoria even during their rat problem, which I helped fixed by devouring their queen @Rat Boy. I’ve also visited every single one of Gordon Ramsay’s restaurants around the globe. I take pride in being Chef Ramsay’s “favourite customer” because when I go to his fine establishments, I usually order the entire menu and then yell at his staff to bring me more. It tickles him when I harass and abuse them as much as he does. Anyway, that’s enough about me for now. I’m here at Sia’s charity event tonight because, uh, well.. To be honest, I’m just here for the food. I hope you all don’t plan on eating much because I also brought some Tupperware with me tonight so I can bring whatever’s left that I don’t eat from the buffet, home with me and if anyone has a problem with that, I will hyper beam your ass out of here! I’m a growing Pokémon that needs to eat so I can one day become a big, fat Snorlax.

your graphic design is sooo good!!!! My fave so far

[Anveeroy 57,989]

[alsemanche 92,257]

1 minute ago, Ororo Munroe said:

*yuh*

 

sounds like murder to me