Bi man ordered to pay ex-wife after she accused him of hiding sexuality

[mvstraw 1,396]

Bisexual man ordered to pay ex-wife thousands after she accused him of hiding his homosexuality. Only, he’s not gay

A bisexual man has been ordered to pay emotional and economic damages to his ex-wife for the supposed crime of hiding his sexuality.

In a case that perfectly epitomises the problem of bi erasure, Spanish attorney Javier Vilalta was accused of concealing his “homosexuality” from his ex-wife, from whom he amicably parted in 2009.

“When I got married I was heterosexual, I want this to be very clear. That’s how I felt,” he told El Salto. “As a result of my divorce I had doubts about my personality and with a therapist I discovered that I was bisexual. And this I told my ex-wife in 2016.”

The woman only decided to pursue legal action a decade after the divorce when mutual friends told her at a dinner party that Vilalta had “always been homosexual”.

She told the court she would never have married him if she’d known about his “true sexuality”, alleging her former husband had used her “as a social refuge” to hide his sexuality.

She demanded an annulment of their union and €10,000 in compensation for the deception. Her lawsuit didn’t even consider the possibility that he was bisexual.

Vilalta’s lawyer maintained that he never misled his wife, and that his sexuality shouldn’t and didn’t preclude him from having a relationship with a woman. Unfortunately the judge ruled against him and ordered him to pay his ex-wife €1,000 for each year they were married – a total of €3,000.

https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2020/12/08/javier-vilalta-bisexual-man-ex-wife-lawsuit-hide-homosexuality-court-order-compensation/

 

This article presents how two prejudices can create a perfect storm of bigotry and how that can intensify both. In this case, bias against men in court issues surrounding marriage, and homophobia/biphobia, as well as restrictive attitudes around male sexual fluidity. Often times prejudices stack and intensify each other. Here An old fashioned judge with old fashioned ideas about men, gender, and sexuality has ruled that a man has to pay his ex for “deceiving her” and hiding his “homosexuality” when he wasn’t yet fully aware of his sexuality, which isn’t even homosexuality but bisexuality. Bisexual men often face what’s called bi erasure, the denial of the capacity of some men to love more than one gender, which forces some men into a restrictive view of male sexuality where you can only be either gay or straight. When this meets with the stereotype of “deceitful queerness”, that non straight people are inherently deceitful, and the general attitude that men face in divorce courts. It can create injustices like this. Cases like this can deeply negatively effect queer men, forcing many deeper into the closet out of fear. Being closeted has negative effects on these men’s mental and physical health.

[xoxo Craig 55,649]

Disgusting. Hope he appeals and she doesn't see a penny 

[Bonkers 30,860]

Did she reveal to him that she was a self centered, vindictive bitch when they got married, totally incapable of taking responsibility for her own choice to believe a marriage should leave no room for a person to self realize and evolve?

Seems like he might have a case.  

[Stephen 30,433]

This is absolutely disgusting.

[xoxo Craig 55,649]

1 minute ago, Bonkers said:

Did she reveal to him that she was a self centered, vindictive bitch when they got married, totally incapable of taking responsibility for her own choice to believe a marriage should leave no room for a person to self realize and evolve?

Seems like he might have a case.  

I sue her for defamation of character if I were him

[MJHolland 12,725]

Spain wtf is up?!?!?

This is DISGUSTING 

[papergangstas 1,364]

13 minutes ago, mvstraw said:

A bisexual man has been ordered to pay emotional and economic damages to his ex-wife for the supposed crime of hiding his sexuality.

11 years after they divorced? what kind of emotional and economic damages did she have? it's so obvious that she's trying to take advantage off of this situation to get money off of him.  And the judge that ruled against him is visibly homophobic. I didn't know that "hiding" your sexuality is a crime... Disgusting. 

[Kulture Kiari 3,433]

And Drag Race Spain is gonna start airing there? I thought homophobia and biphobia didn't exist there anymore 

 

[TimisaMonster 31,073]

Is this bitch crazy? 

[RenegAde 20,557]

I would totally be on her side if this suit came in 2009 when he divorced her. im sorry but men using unsuspecting women as cover ups can be just as damaging  to a womans self worth and mental health . 

But waiting a whole  7 years and basing her case on  "he said she said" does not sit right with me  and cast a shadow of doubt on her claim

 i think we need to carefully examing the facts of the case before jumping to conclusions.  A man doesnt just wake up one morning and realise that they have an inclination towards liking other men. 

[whore 11,447]

[redacted]

[vyniildisk 12,689]

I will sue my ex lol

[mvstraw 1,396]

17 minutes ago, RenegAde said:

I would totally be on her side if this suit came in 2009 when he divorced her. im sorry but men using unsuspecting women as cover ups can be just as damaging  to a womans self worth and mental health . 

Are you for real? That man literally said he was straight when he married her and later as a result of his divorce had doubts about his personality and with a therapist discovered that he was bisexual. He wasn't "using" her in this situation.

17 minutes ago, RenegAde said:

 i think we need to carefully examing the facts of the case before jumping to conclusions.  A man doesnt just wake up one morning and realise they have an inclination towards liking other men

Sexual orientation is a spectrum and never is black and white. It's not uncommon that someone has a fluid sexuality.

 

 

[LateToCult 41,857]

When the beards fight back. 

[RenegAde 20,557]

12 minutes ago, mvstraw said:

Are you for real? That man literally said he was straight when he married her and later as a result of his divorce had doubts about his personality and with a therapist discovered that he was bisexual. He wasn't "using" her in this situation.

Sexuality is a spectrum and never is black and white. It's not uncommon that someone has a fluid sexuality.

 

 

 my point is that people dont just realise that they have a tendency to like the same sex from one day to the next , it is usually something that we notice from childhood but choose to repress because of society. So im not sure i am buying the fact that he just magically realised he could be bisexual because of therapy . But that's just me 

Before you choose to get married to someone  you should be extremely open with all your thought, desires and troubles and share those things with your future spouse , give that person the choice to choose if they want to marry you or not with full knowledge of your personality and baggage 

Like i said if this claim came at the same time they got divorced then i would be on her side but waiting all this while is hella shady and it seems like she just wants cash