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opinion

Replay is about Trauma, references Trigger

derpmonster
Posted (edited)

Trigger warning: sexual assault mention

Hear me out y'all. This is ONE of the multiple possible meanings of the song. I felt Replay deep within me when I first heard it. It resonated with me the most and I realized something sinister about the lyrics. It could be about Gaga's trauma especially the PTSD she has from rape. Here are some of the lyrics that support the idea.

- The chorus: "The scars on my mind are on replay." People with PTSD often experience flashbacks. It plays like a movie and the scars on her mind - which could be memories of the event itself or the mental health issues that result from it (the monster) - are playing over and over and torturing her with no apparent way to stop them.

- Allusion to a psychological phenomenon: In the bridge, she says, "Psychologically, it's something that I can't explain, scratch my nails into the dirt to pull me out of pain." She can't explain it because PTSD makes people feel very weird things and it's very hard to make sense of it. One second you're fine and the next second you're acting up for no apparent external reason. You can't stop feeling the pain even if the "damage is done" and you're wondering if it even matters anymore.

- Description of how the experience made her feel:  "Am I still alive? Where am I? I cry." This sounds like an experience of dissociation and numbness from the absolute shock of the experience or a reliving of it. "Who was it that pulled the trigger, was it you or I? I'm completely numb, why you acting dumb?" Sometimes when rape occurs, it's because of coercion and the rapist will act like they didn't do anything wrong or they will lie and say that the victim wanted it. She's confused because of that rationalization and wonders if maybe she really did consent ("pull the trigger"). She's numb but realizes it's not her fault. It's the rapist's and they both know he's the one.

- Trigger: I was shook to my core when I heard her say the word Trigger because it reminded me of my favorite Gaga unreleased song. And yes, I believe this is a reference to that song.

Spoiler

Here is the song: 

 

It may be pitched up.

In the song she says,  "They never really knew it then, how to do it with the safety off the trigger." Of course, "it" means sex. You can figure out what "safety off the trigger" means. Back to Replay, she talks about who was the one to pull the trigger and in the bridge she affirms, "You had the gun." Gun could refer to penis and I'm not going to go into graphic detail but you can imagine how the act is more "in control" of the one who has the "gun."

- And now, the most heartbreaking part. The following section is speculation and you may wish to take it with a grain of salt. It's about who Gaga's abuser is allegedly based on hints she's dropped ("music producer" and "I was 19, he was twice my age"). However, this is unconfirmed so please do not crucify this person over this conjecture.

Spoiler

I will not name names but it's widely rumored to be a producer she worked with very early on and she was involved in a lawsuit with (which is possibly why this information is hidden - the court case included a clause which barred Gaga from talking about it). This person also got very defensive on Twitter when Gaga performed Til It Happens To You at the Oscars completely unprovoked which raised eyebrows. He also released (in 2015 or 2016) his own version of an unreleased song Gaga and he worked on.

Why do I mention this? Because Trigger was written with him. He produced and cowrote some of Gaga's biggest hits. It was work with him that got Gaga noticed and signed by Interscope. In a way, Gaga got the career she has now in part because of him. He gave her not only monsters but also... Little Monsters. Which is why she says:

"I hate to say
You're the worst thing and the best thing that's happened to me."

:(

The monster inside him tortures her to this day as well as monsters of fame.

 

 

Edited by derpmonster
Check out iTunes data & graphs at chARTPOP.azurewebsites.net
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The Child

She said it on Spotify.  The fact that this awful thing will stay with her throughout all her life just makes me so sad for her, a guy just tried to rape me and it still haunts me to this day. I can't even imagine how she must be feeling. :ohno:

‘If religion be the cause of disunity, then irreligion is surely to be preferred.’ ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
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Red

Bravo :applause:

Nobody is gonna kill me if I don’t open the door
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clefable

This is so well written. He also tried to sue her for 30 million dollars back in 2010. I think it’s clear there’s some things she legally can’t talk about which is also sad. I really hope she is doing okay now 

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clefable

This man is clearly very deranged by the way I’m glad we aren’t naming him. He parades his credits on the fame album as though he didn’t try and sue her for 30 million dollars. And yes when she released till it happens to you in 2015 he posted an Instagram picture that read “rumours are carried by haters, accepted by fools and spread by idiots” with the caption that read: “a true LADY wouldn’t spread lies.”    
 

It makes me sick to the stomach that people like him are out there in the world. And if the world was truly truly fair he would be behind bars.

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derpmonster
8 hours ago, clefable said:

This man is clearly very deranged by the way I’m glad we aren’t naming him. He parades his credits on the fame album as though he didn’t try and sue her for 30 million dollars. And yes when she released till it happens to you in 2015 he posted an Instagram picture that read “rumours are carried by haters, accepted by fools and spread by idiots” with the caption that read: “a true LADY wouldn’t spread lies.”    
 

It makes me sick to the stomach that people like him are out there in the world. And if the world was truly truly fair he would be behind bars.

Yeah his reaction to TIHTY was really telling. Why bother if it wasn't you?

Check out iTunes data & graphs at chARTPOP.azurewebsites.net
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DonatellaPop
Posted (edited)

This just hit me so hard, I've been thinking maybe the 'Monsters' part in RPL was about fame but now... wow I'm impressed with this thread. Bravo!

Edited by DonatellaPop
#BLACKLIVESMATTER
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HeavyCapiLover

This makes me think of how deep that album is. It's probably her darkest project that she ever done and she still manages to give a kind of positivity to those struggles. I think that Chromatica might help people that have experienced similar traumas, help feel happy even if the pain is hard, bc like gaga said, it's alright to dance when you're sad.

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derpmonster
2 minutes ago, HeavyCapiLover said:

This makes me think of how deep that album is. It's probably her darkest project that she ever done and she still manages to give a kind of positivity to those struggles. I think that Chromatica might help people that have experienced similar traumas, help feel happy even if the pain is hard, bc like gaga said, it's alright to dance when you're sad.

it's very very much like ARTPOP in that way. I feel like it's ARTPOP, just further down in the healing process whereas ARTPOP had fresh wounds.

Check out iTunes data & graphs at chARTPOP.azurewebsites.net
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CherryBoom

I'm so proud of her. This album is the true definiton of dancing through the pain:kara:

Don't forget me when I come crying to heaven's door...
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HeavyCapiLover
1 minute ago, derpmonster said:

it's very very much like ARTPOP in that way. I feel like it's ARTPOP, just further down in the healing process whereas ARTPOP had fresh wounds.

Yeah but the difference is that ARTPOP is more like a very rebellious, f you to the industry and in your face type of album. While Chromatica is sweeter, more enigmatic and it doesn't seem like it talks about such dark themes if you don't pay attention to the lyrics. 

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Marjol

Thank you for this post :hug: You really filled in some missing pieces for me. 

8 hours ago, clefable said:

This man is clearly very deranged by the way I’m glad we aren’t naming him. He parades his credits on the fame album as though he didn’t try and sue her for 30 million dollars. And yes when she released till it happens to you in 2015 he posted an Instagram picture that read “rumours are carried by haters, accepted by fools and spread by idiots” with the caption that read: “a true LADY wouldn’t spread lies.”    
 

It makes me sick to the stomach that people like him are out there in the world. And if the world was truly truly fair he would be behind bars.

He probably thinks he did nothing wrong back then, that is often the issue with cases like this. A power dynamic that he took advantage of, mistaking signals. Manipulative people don't see who they are hurting. Forcing isn't always just done psychically but often mentally. What is casual and normal behaviour for one person can be deeply traumatizing and scarring for another.

What makes it tricky is (usually) no-one else, no outsider, is around to step in say: 'Hey, wait a second what you're doing is not right.' because it's just two people there. It's so sad.

I've always been a guard dog when it comes to my GF's and the men they dated, even back in highschool. I could always sniff out the bad ones. Everyone would love the guy and I had my guard up. They always tried to charm me because they could tell I wasnt falling for it, I could see right through them and would call them on their **** if needed. Luckily nothing to this extent ever happened but there were some very unhealthy relationships sadly.

"You are a You are a ****ing rad bitch!" - Gaga said to me 18/9/2012 Amsterdam

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Shadow

Very well written analysis by the original poster.  It sounds like she went through a lot of trauma from the abuse of this (F) producer.  I had questions about if more songs she has made reference this tragedy, but not sure if appropriate.  It amazes me how she can turn so much pain and horror into bittersweet songs like these.  She appears to be a very strong soul to push her career forward even with the weight of her past.

in bocca al lupo
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M Monstre
13 hours ago, The Child said:

She said it on Spotify.  The fact that this awful thing will stay with her throughout all her life just makes me so sad for her, a guy just tried to rape me and it still haunts me to this day. I can't even imagine how she must be feeling. :ohno:

Where on Spotify does she say this? I can't find it.

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AyaKara

This is why Replay is one of the best songs on the album. I'm surprised at its general hate here on GGD. It has THE best lyrics. I love this song and am grateful she made it.

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