My new song "No Today"

[Oriane 21,124]

Hi everyone !

I have just released my new song "No Today" and I hope you guys like it !

Production is not my strong point and it's more about the songwriting, I'm open to any feedback on it !

Lyrics :

One last wave at my favorite harbour
And smells I didn’t know I would forget
One step towards such a blurry future
A mind full of colors not painted yet
Summer ended and we got thrown away
I sat on the couch and I had to yearn
Our place that was half-empty that day
That watched me grow and learn and cry and burn

And there wasn’t a today, and barely a yesterday
And nothing in these paths would lead me to myself
I knew there was a tomorrow, even if time stretched so hard
It would take 10 years to come but in the end, it would come

A princess in a new room tries to run
From a queen who’s singing a different tune
Wrapped in red under an earlier sun
Wish to remember her favorite perfume
Got stuck in my room that was kind of blue
Cause I wanted it like the older one
Walking on a road that just felt so new
Reaching for these things I had never won

And there wasn’t a today, and barely a yesterday
And nothing in these paths would lead me to myself
I knew there was a tomorrow, even if time stretched so hard
It would take 10 years to come but in the end, it would come

And then I found my way, and I could tame the road
And there would be many other flavors to come
And other colors I could paint in different forms
And I would find older pains I tried to conceal
Along with these new ones that I would learn to heal

And there wasn’t a today, and barely a yesterday
And nothing in these paths would lead me to myself
I knew there was a tomorrow, even if time stretched so hard
It would take 10 years to come but in the end, it would come

 

Some explanation about the song :

 

All of the lyrics are about very specific things so one can’t understand them without knowing the context. I think even people who know me in real life wouldn’t understand everything.

To be short, it’s about one of the worst, most stress-inducing moments in my life. It’s about the time after I left university and had to start looking for a job. I think it’s very stressful for everyone, but some side events made it more difficult.

Now most of it is over, I found a situation I like, although there are some things in my life I still want and I’m not sure how I’m going to accomplish them, but I think I’ll find a way.

But I have actually not been feeling well due to something personal, something recent and unrelated to the events I mentioned in this song. One day, as I got up, I thought about this specific time in my life and how I felt then, and lyrics just started coming to my mind. So that day, I sat and wrote everything down, and I started to structure everything and by the evening, the lyrics were almost as they are now. I don’t think I have ever done that for any other song, usually a theme comes into my mind and I write some lines here and there, it takes some time before I actually decide to make it into a song.

But mostly, I wanted this song to be a reminder of hope. Because back then, things were bad but I knew it was temporary, and I knew it would get better, although I didn’t know when. And recently, I have been feeling like I wouldn’t get better emotionally, and I wanted to remind myself that I would. So this song is about these past events, but the recent feelings I’ve had are actually all over it.

And a (long) detailed explanation of the lyrics if anyone is interested :

Spoiler

One last wave at my favorite harbour : At the end of my studies, I did my internship in Hong Kong. I really loved it so I was sad when I left obviously. The Chinese name for Hong Kong can be translated as “fragrant harbour”, so I wanted to do a play on words in this line and the following one.

And smells I didn’t know I would forget : Something I missed about Hong Kong but didn’t notice right away, was the smell of it. I can’t describe it, but later in my life, when I went to Taiwan, I immediately recognized the smell and realized how much I had missed it, without realizing it. I also wanted to reflect on how, in general, I (and probably most people) tend to forget the smell of things I love.

One step towards such a blurry future : This one is self-explanatory, I wasn’t sure of the future that expected me.

A mind full of colors not painted yet : I have always been creative/artistic and I had so many ideas and creativity in me back then that was waiting to be turned into something concrete. The “paint” is just a metaphor, I don’t actually paint but I do other artistic things.

Summer ended and we got thrown away : Long story short, my mom and I got evicted from our apartment near the end of September, so right at the end of the summer. It’s as if that summer was my last real break before having to look for a job, and now that event disrupted everything and added more stress to my life. (that situation got better and my mom has been able to find a new place since then, in case anyone worries about that)

I sat on the couch and I had to yearn : I remembered the day we went back to the apartment one last time to pick up all the furniture and stuff, and I sat on the couch for a few minutes and took a last look across the room.

Our place that was half-empty that day : We couldn’t pick up all of the furniture we had so our apartment looked a bit weird, not empty but not exactly like I had known it either.

That watched me grow and learn and cry and burn : Self-explanatory too, this apartment saw me grow up and everything.

And there wasn’t a today, and barely a yesterday : I wasn’t feeling that I was properly living at this moment in my life, there was nothing to say about it, nothing happening so I felt that there wasn’t a “today”. I also have the feeling that I haven’t really lived a lot of things before that, in particular things I enjoyed and would like to tell, so there was “barely a yesterday” as well.

And nothing in these paths would lead me to myself : Everyone, my family in particular, was pressuring me to look for a job but the obvious options I had were not satisfying me and I knew I wouldn’t be happy if I went that way. One of the things I wanted for example was to be able to travel everywhere and be free and having a regular job at a company wouldn’t fit.

I knew there was a tomorrow, even if time stretched so hard : I knew, at this time in my life, that this situation was temporary and that it would get better.

It would take 10 years to come but in the end, it would come : I didn’t know how much time it would take, but even if it had to take 10 years, I was ready to be strong and to wait to get what I wanted.

A princess in a new room tries to run : For some context, after the eviction, I had to live at my dad’s and his partner’s house. I say “new room” but it had been my room for years, it’s just that I only went there on weekends and holidays, and now it was my official house.

From a queen who’s singing a different tune : I’m referring to my dad’s partner here, we were very different and didn’t get along. I used the “princess” and “queen” just for imagery. This situation was bad for me because, as I learnt, living with someone you don’t like is a nightmare. And after having lived on my own for years while I was studying, and finding out I was really craving for independence and freedom, this felt like a regression.

Wrapped in red under an earlier sun : I still wanted to travel before finding a job and a way to do that, for me, was to do an internship in another country, and I would have gained some more experience too. I tried to do one in China but it was unsuccessful. So the “red” and “earlier sun” refer to China here.

Wish to remember her favorite perfume : This is still a reference to the first verse when I was talking about forgetting smells. I’m also allergic to perfume, so it was a way to show that absolutely wanting to go to China was eventually toxic because I lost so much time and energy doing that.

Got stuck in my room that was kind of blue : Instead of going to China, I got stuck in my room in my dad’s house. It was painted in blue, but it’s also a reference to “Kind of Blue” by Miles Davis, I started listening to a lot of various albums at that time and it was one of them.

Cause I wanted it like the older one : My old room at my mom’s apartment was painted in blue too. I painted my new room after being evicted, because it’s my favorite color but I think I also kind of wanted it to remind me of my old room.

Walking on a road that just felt so new : Self-explanatory here, I was taking a new path that I didn’t know, kind of the adulthood road I guess.

Reaching for these things I had never won : I was trying to get things I had never got, I’m taking about a lot of things here, some of them being personal…

And then I found my way, and I could tame the road : Finally, after this long time, I found the right solution for myself and I would finally “tame” this road that was new to me.

And there would be many other flavors to come : I knew and I still know there will be many other things, other smells, other flavors, other discoveries along the way.

And other colors I could paint in different forms : I’m talking again about creativity, like I did in the first verse. This time I finally started “painting”, which means creating art.

And I would find older pains I tried to conceal : All this time, there are moments I was brought back to old pains from the past. I thought I was over many of them but I had to rethink about it.

Along with these new ones that I would learn to heal : I’m referring to the recent pains I experienced here, and I know there will be new ones in the future. The bridge, more than the rest of the song, is referencing recent events, and is a reminder for me to not lose hope and to believe that things will eventually get better, because it already has in the past.

 

[Roboboy 3,777]

You have such a good voice! 

[StrawberryBlond 14,897]

Your voice is very deep and haunting, very distinct. What would really help would be if you provided the full lyrics as your diction is sometimes a bit difficult to decipher. I know your French accent and mannerisms is affecting the way I'm hearing it so it would help if I had the lyrics to read along to. I like what I hear, though, very introspective and I just feel like I'm absorbed in the moment as I hear it. If there's one good thing that comes out of depression is that it provides a lot of songwriting inspiration.

[AJRocketMan 2,684]

I hear several off-key moments in this recording. Or at least, it sounds off-key to me. What key is this song in?

[Oriane 21,124]

1 hour ago, StrawberryBlond said:

Your voice is very deep and haunting, very distinct. What would really help would be if you provided the full lyrics as your diction is sometimes a bit difficult to decipher. I know your French accent and mannerisms is affecting the way I'm hearing it so it would help if I had the lyrics to read along to. I like what I hear, though, very introspective and I just feel like I'm absorbed in the moment as I hear it. If there's one good thing that comes out of depression is that it provides a lot of songwriting inspiration.

You're right, I completely forgot to include the full lyrics in the OP ! I updated it with the lyrics.

Yes, it's even more difficult to pronounce it and sing at the same time, so sometimes I choose the musical flow over the actual pronounciation 

1 hour ago, AJRocketMan said:

I hear several off-key moments in this recording. Or at least, it sounds off-key to me. What key is this song in?

I don't have any education in music theory and I think it shows ! I don't know the key, I just tried to make it sound as I could but I know it doesn't sound exactly as it does in my head, and I've been told I have a tendency to sing off-key sometimes.

[StrawberryBlond 14,897]

23 hours ago, Oriane said:

You're right, I completely forgot to include the full lyrics in the OP ! I updated it with the lyrics.

Yes, it's even more difficult to pronounce it and sing at the same time, so sometimes I choose the musical flow over the actual pronounciation 

I think some of your words sounds like others, for example, "smells" sounds like "smiles" and "paths" sounds like "pasts." Having the lyrics in front of me definitely helped. It's a very lyrically rich song without going overboard. You captured the mind of a depressed artist very well. You're a very capable songwriter and you did very well trying to write English lyrics in a way that we would culturally say them considering you're not a native speaker. And as I said, you have a lovely tone of voice. It sounds very much like a song I'd hear on an indie/alternative singer's album.

[Oriane 21,124]

1 hour ago, StrawberryBlond said:

I think some of your words sounds like others, for example, "smells" sounds like "smiles" and "paths" sounds like "pasts." Having the lyrics in front of me definitely helped. It's a very lyrically rich song without going overboard. You captured the mind of a depressed artist very well. You're a very capable songwriter and you did very well trying to write English lyrics in a way that we would culturally say them considering you're not a native speaker. And as I said, you have a lovely tone of voice. It sounds very much like a song I'd hear on an indie/alternative singer's album.

I find "paths" so hard to pronounce indeed ! As I was recording it, I thought to myself "why did I use that word ??". But it made sense to me to use this one rather than a synonym. I think that, for some of these words, I changed the pronounciation a bit on purpose, because it was flowing better, or sounding better in the context.

Thanks for your kind words (and for trying to get the thread more popular !), it touches me deeply to hear that about my work. I know I have a lot of progress to make musically and I can't compare myself to actual musicians who have a lot more knowledge about what they do. But I'm glad to know that some people like it and that I was able to convey my emotions into it.