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‘How Sia Saved Herself from Suicide’ Rolling Stone Interview


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Laceface

Stardom may not have come naturally to Sia, but she’s built a career that’s unique in modern pop. She’s a songwriter and singer in equal measure, a famous hitmaker who’s more comfortable behind the scenes. She has a huge, raw voice that creaks and breaks as if teetering on the edge of a cliff, or her sanity. She’s penned more than 100 pop songs for artists like Beyoncé, Britney Spears, Perry and Rihanna, whose “Diamonds” hit Number One. And she’s overcome more than her share of hurdles to get where she is today, including alcoholism, bipolar disorder, an autoimmune disorder and a suicide attempt (more on all that in a minute).

Today, things are pretty good. Stable. Her life no longer hangs in the balance. But years of therapy and medication and 12-step meetings have not entirely quieted the internal monologue that helped drive her to drink and drugs. What does that monologue sound like today? “Um, mostly, ‘Fat ****, fat ****, fat ****. Tree trunk, tree trunk, fat ****, fat ****, tree trunk, tree trunk, loser, loser, fat ****, loser, fat ****, fat ****.’

“I have dieted like crazy over the last 10 years,” she explains, “trying to fit into the stereotype of, like, ‘hot pop star.’ Somebody did say, ‘You don’t have to be a model. You’re actually an artist. . . . It literally doesn’t matter what you look like.’ ”

One morning she woke up to a volley of e-mails from friends in the U.S. about “Breathe Me” being used in Six Feet Under. All of a sudden, the song was all over KCRW and other indie stations. The success was hard-earned: The night she had written “Breathe Me,” she’d tried to kill herself by washing down 22 Valium with a bottle of vodka. “Unfortunately,” she says, “you can only commit sleep on Valium — or should I say fortunately.”

Her next two albums were moderate successes, charting in the Top 40 but failing to produce hits outside Australia. And by late 2010, there was an even bigger problem to face: She still wanted to die. She was bottoming out again, drinking too much vodka, taking Xanax and OxyContin, watching too much TV, living in near-isolation. She decided to check into the hotel around the corner from her apartment and take all the pills she had. She wrote letters to the hotel manager and the maid, hoping to spare
them the trauma of finding her cold, dead body: “Please do not come in. I am dead inside. Please call an ambulance.”

Before she could leave for the hotel, her phone rang. Sia answered it and heard an old friend say, “Squiddly-diddly-doo!” That was how Sia used to answer, back when she still had a spark. “There must have been a part of me that really wanted to live,” she recalls, “because in that moment, I thought, ‘There’s a world out there and I’m not a part of it. But I might like to be.’ ” Instead of checking into the hotel, she called her dog-walker, who was sober. The next day, she went to her first 12-step meeting.

We love a humble artist. I generally cried at the suicide attempts part as I know a lot of us on here can relate. Read the full interview here

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/sia-face-songs-chandelier-maddie-ziegler-712691/#utm_medium=social&utm_source=email&utm_campaign=social_bar&utm_content=bottom_amp&utm_id=712691

 

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The Fame

Sia is super talented and cool and I'm very glad her life is coming out of the darkness. <3 

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codymonster

That was a very interesting read. I’m so happy for her. She truly is an incredible artist and I’m glad after years of eating **** she had finally gotten to where she can thrive mentally and career-wise

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doppelganger

I love her work (solo and collab) way before she became popular. She deserves the success, but nothing beats her earlier songs.  

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highlikegaga

as someone who's bipolar and struggled with suicide attempts all my life (being 21 and first attempt at, like, 11-12) i find Sia's story absolutely inspiring.

breathe me is still that song and i love it so much. probably one of my all time favorites

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Laceface

 It’s my favourite song of hers too! Also interesting to see her other condition gives her similar symptoms as fibro. 

1 hour ago, highlikegaga said:

as someone who's bipolar and struggled with suicide attempts all my life (being 21 and first attempt at, like, 11-12) i find Sia's story absolutely inspiring.

breathe me is still that song and i love it so much. probably one of my all time favorites

 

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Laceface
7 hours ago, The Fame said:

Sia is super talented and cool and I'm very glad her life is coming out of the darkness. <3 

Yeeees and you Stan the fame :kara:

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On 8/31/2018 at 4:48 AM, Laceface said:

@Matt hey Matt, the LSD September album release part is near the beginning of this article :) 

Thank you! That was a good read, I had no ideal her last attempt was 2010, right before Titanium. I'm so grateful she is still with us!

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Queen Gloria

Good to read, I usually am every other day and I need to remind myself that there's a whole world out there I haven't explored. Thanks for sharing. 

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