Theory: Gaga Avenged Janet by Cursing JT

[PunkTheFunk 124,425]

Buckle up girls

January 19, 2018

Justin Timberlake is set to perform at the Superbowl in a little more than two weeks. He sits down with Zane Lowe at Beats 1 Radio, dressed like your creepy neighbor, and is asked about the possibility of doing a Vegas residency like Gaga, Britney, and Mariah.

"I mean I wouldn't rule it out if it was something that was different," Timberlake told Lowe. "I definitely don't...you know… [laughs]…it feels like…"

"...a retirement option?" Lowe asked.

Timberlake continued, "...you're planning your retirement. You know what I mean? So for some reason that feels like scary to me." He then told Lowe, "The person who did Vegas better than anybody was Prince."

The shade sends shockwaves throughout the stan community. 

Gaga makes no comment. I'm sure if anyone else had said this, she would've brushed it off. But this is Justin Timberlake -- the same man who practically ruined Janet Jackson's career by exposing her breast at the 2004 Superbowl Halftime show. While Janet was blacklisted from TV channels and radio stations, uninvited from awards shows, and publicly vilified and humiliated, Justin got off scot free. He went on to have a successful solo career while Janet's went down the tubes.

Gaga has made it very clear in the past that Janet is one of her idols. She said the following in 2009, on a podcast/radio show: 

"[...] she's just an unbelievable legend, and such a talent; somebody that I really, really look up to. And [Nasty and Rhythm Nation are] my two, two favourite songs, and favourite videos, that she's ever done."

Janet has in turn had kind words for Gaga. "I really love Gaga, yeah, and she's a sweetheart," she said in a 2010 interview with MTV. Suffice it to say, the two share a mutual respect for each other. (Also, remember that Gaga spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on Michael Jackson's tour outfits, i.e. her love for the Jackson's ain't cheap )

Gaga knows the immense supernatural powers she possesses; her infamous curse has brought down scores of powerful  celebrities, both intentionally and unintentionally. She decides that now is the perfect time to seal Justin's fate. His days of living without consequences for what he did to Janet are numbered; his time is almost up.

January 28, 2018

It's Grammy night, and Gaga is ready to set the spell in motion.

She dresses up for the occasion in all black, which -- according to Cabot Kent Hermetic Temple -- is the best color to wear when casting spells. "It is the culmination of all vibrational rates of light on the material plane. Black absorbs light information" and allows the caster of the spell to "be more receptive to psychic impressions and energies."

Her black train essentially works like a mop, soaking up psychic energy as it moves along the red carpet.

Her performance that night begins with a piano rendition of "Joanne", which is the perfect choice of song to cast her spell.

Why, you ask? 

Because Janet Jackson's middle name is Damita Jo, a common diminutive of Joanne. Singing Joanne is Gaga's subtle way of implicating Janet in the spell. 

As soon as her performance of Joanne is finished, Gaga quietly says "Times Up" into the microphone. On the surface, this seems like a reference to the Time's Up movement that is currently sweeping the entertainment industry.

But rearrange the 7 letters of Time's Up and you get the word "IMPETUS" -- the force, or impulse, that makes something happen. It's a code word: Gaga is signalling that the spell has been set in motion. There is no turning back now.

January 31, 2018

You may recall a thread I did about a year ago, where I theorized that Lana Del Rey avenged Gaga's Oscar loss by messing with the Academy of Motion Pictures during the 2018 Oscars. I basically hypothesized that Lana harnessed the power of the lunar eclipse that occurred on the day of the Oscars and used it to mix up the Best Picture results, thereby humiliating the Academy and restoring the balance of the universe.

On January 31, 2018 a rare phenomena occurred. It was the first time in over 150 years that a supermoon, blue moon, a blood moon, and a lunar eclipse coincided.

As you can imagine, this celestial event presented a rare opportunity to perform an intensely powerful spell. 

As I stated in the Lana thread, lunar eclipses are the perfect time to cast spells. According to thesmartwitch.com, magic spells performed during lunar eclipses combine the power of the full and new moons simultaneously. Therefore, consider carefully your wishes. Any spell performed during a Lunar Eclipse must be done carefully, as one is invoking the Triple Goddess in each of her forms. 

Add a supermoon, blue moon, and blood moon on top of that, and you get Gaga's curse on steroids 

Here's where things get really interesting:

January 31st was also Justin Timberlake's 37th birthday.

But here's the ultimate kicker: when Janet suffered her nip slip at the hands of Justin, she was 37 years old.*

*She would turn 38 in May 2004

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Gaga took full use of this perfect alignment to complete her curse on Justin.

It took one business day for the curse to kick in.

On February 2nd his album Male of the Forest was released and swiftly skewered by critics.

On February 3rd rumors surfaced that he was using a hologram of Prince at his Halftime show and the backlash began.

And on February 4th, the hashtag #JanetJacksonAppreciationDay out-trended the Superbowl on Twitter hours before it started. Meanwhile, Justin's halftime performance was dragged through the gutter by everyone and their mother, and he subsequently retreated into the woods from whence he came and was never seen again. 

Gaga saw everything that she had done, and, behold, it was very good. Justin may have exposed Janet's breast, but Gaga exposed Justin's entire career. Justin brought sexy back, but Gaga sent it packing. Justin cried her a river, but Gaga built a dam in it. Justin had a feeling inside his bones, but Gaga gave him osteoporosis.

As for Ms. Jackson, you might say a bit of Poetic Justice™ was finally served.

[Sailor 3,321]

A TRUE REVERSE JUSTIFICATION WARHOLIAN EXPERIENCE

[LePetitGAGABLover 21,234]

A concept! We love a fave with cursing powers. When will other rats?

[Vision of Love 365]

"Justin had a feeling inside his bones, but Gaga gave him osteoporosis" LMAO I wish I put as much effort into things as you do with your posts.  

[SFDMQ 3,397]

can i have a summary of this 

[Radio Ga Ga 5,671]

Omg  I can’t 

#osteoporosis needs to trend

[Duella Dvil 10,495]

1 minute ago, SFDMQ said:

can i have a summary of this 

No, one does not simply summarize an icon like @PunkTheFunk

[Sepsami 18,841]

I am early to witness.mp3 the birth of an iconique new thread  

[DiscoStyx 3,355]

this was too much

[Saint Hollywood 37,364]

It all makes sense now

[Tom Nook 37,807]

17 minutes ago, PunkTheFunk said:

January 31st was also Justin Timberlake's 37th birthday.

But here's the ultimate kicker: when Janet suffered her nip slip at the hands of Justin, she was 37 years old.*

[Miel 15,009]

21 minutes ago, PunkTheFunk said:

 

Gaga saw everything that she had done, and, behold, it was very good. Justin may have exposed Janet's breast, but Gaga exposed Justin's entire career. Justin brought sexy back, but Gaga sent it packing. Justin cried her a river, but Gaga built a dam in it. Justin had a feeling inside his bones, but Gaga gave him osteoporosis.

 

nn hip 

[He8MyHeart 9,765]

I love everything about this.

[TheRoof 21,600]

*PunkTheFunk makes a new thread*

me:

you're so iconic 

[Easy 5,298]

If you decide to write a full length Gaga fan fiction I might fund it for the movie.  I love your threads.