Gay men hate femme gay men

[Henri Bardot 3,990]

True. 

Next. 

[Henri Bardot 3,990]

I'm what yall would consider fem and I like fem guys and masculine guys equally lmao. 

Same with girls.

Like trying new things is always interesting I guess 

[xKorix 156]

A lot of men see feminine characteristics as shameful, doesn't matter straight or gay. Growing up for me even feminine straight men were often looked down on. I think it's shitty, I'm cool with expressing and being okay with some feminine parts of myself though most people see me as "masc" and people don't normally guess I'm gay. I just look at the person, how I feel with them, if we connect, etc. I don't care if he's feminine or masculine, as long as he's a good person.

[DiscoStyx 3,355]

me reading the replies in this thread

Spoiler

yes, saying you have "preferences", that you're not attracted to feminine/[insert race(s)]/trans guys, is (internalized) homophobia/racism/transphobia

 

[DeleteMyAccount 11,881]

2 hours ago, Doot said:

Yes. There is an entire spectrum of what would be considered feminine. It’s all very subjective. 

And that's why this survey is bogus. 

[Bebe 17,289]

5 hours ago, Givenchy said:

The reason I don't date femme guys isn't because someone taught me to dislike them nor because I'm ashamed of holding their hands as a couple, it's because they simply don't turn me on. I'm not gonna have sex with you or date you if I don't want to or like it. If that makes me sexist, then yes, I am very sexist, but at least I'm free to choose what I like rather than conform to what you think I should like because preferring otherwise is "cis-sexist".

Besides, there's no such thing as an LGBT community and I don't associate myself with it despite being into men, myself, you know why? because it's full of people like you and them who want to teach others what they should prefer, who are much worse bullies than actual homophobic people. 

There's no reason to take it personally  The problem isn't you as an individual it's that as a whole 71% of gay men say they would never date a femme guy. There is a reason for that, that's indicative of a society that idolises this cis-sexist, heteronormative ideal of masculinity and a society that shames and ostracises people who don't or can't live up to that ideal. Again, this isn't like "Oh, I personally have a thing for green eyes!" it's 70%+ of gay men that are repulsed by a certain type of person - that's not random, there is a reason behind it. If that fact makes you uncomfortable then sorry, but the solution isn't to just shut up and pretend there isn't a problem. 

Nobody is telling you who you should date or who you should have sex with, although I don't really buy the idea that there is no femme guy you could ever possibly end up liking if you got to know them (and I don't really buy the idea that the society in which you were born and raised has had no influence on you and your thoughts on gender)... What people are saying is that there is a societal problem with the idolisation of particular, harmful gender norms that are restrictive and damaging and that we need to work to confront and dismantle these societal power structures.

[HauntingHollow 4,310]

6 hours ago, CakeLikeLG said:

being gay only means you are attracted to someone with male genitalia. It has nothing to do with femininity or masculinity. That's a preference

not really, being gay is not only wanting ****, from a psychological perception, it is wanting somebody whose is a male, somebody who shows traits of the male sex, feminine gays kinda fail at that, they are more like woman with a ****... body parts play a lesser role than people think they do... sexuality is psychology more than physiology 

[imnotyourbabe10 6,120]

Reading responses in this thread like: 

 

Look into the social sciences, people.  Socialization is a legit thing.  Labeling theory is a thing.  Figure it out.  Gender is legit fake news.  The whole "preference" argument is inherently socialized if one understands socialization.  HERE: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialization

        

 

Also check out the book "Sociobiology: Sense or Nonsense" if you are curious about the biological factors at play in social, human behavior 

[ryanripley 86,575]

13 hours ago, Doot said:

Honestly, something that damages the gay community, at least imo, is that everything is constantly so sex centric. 

SPOT

ON

 

you don’t know how happy it makes me seeing this

13 hours ago, Brooklyn Knight said:

Do you think that it has to do with Grindr and the hookup culture in general? I mean, as a gay guy I totally see that sex is a big part of the community, but why?

 

YES and it’s probably because we’re men and, like every other man, we like sex and since men hold the power in society we get to create an entire culture built around hooking up and p*rnography

it’s women who get shamed in society for being sexual, not men and since gay sex is just men, who is there to shame?

13 hours ago, Doot said:

I have no idea. 

Hookup culture is rampaging. Every single gay bar is covered with posters of half naked men. The gay pride parades are all dildos and condoms and jock straps, etc. 

i will say this a million times until i die: LGBT PEOPLE NEED SAFE SPACES WITHOUT SEX AND ALCOHOL EVERYWHERE

[Rexx 217]

It's nobody's fault if femme guys are usually so little desired. It's just preference. Stop fighting and chill out people. Everybody in the world has preferences.

 

[Doot 2]

1 hour ago, ryanripley said:

SPOT

ON

 

you don’t know how happy it makes me seeing this

YES and it’s probably because we’re men and, like every other man, we like sex and since men hold the power in society we get to create an entire culture built around hooking up and p*rnography

it’s women who get shamed in society for being sexual, not men and since gay sex is just men, who is there to shame?

i will say this a million times until i die: LGBT PEOPLE NEED SAFE SPACES WITHOUT SEX AND ALCOHOL EVERYWHERE

110% accurate. The **** is annoying af. 

[Blake 7,385]

3 hours ago, HauntingHollow said:

not really, being gay is not only wanting ****, from a psychological perception, it is wanting somebody whose is a male, somebody who shows traits of the male sex, feminine gays kinda fail at that, they are more like woman with a ****... body parts play a lesser role than people think they do... sexuality is psychology more than physiology 

This is complete bullsh*t. I'm gay and I couldn't care less if another gay man is masculine or feminine, it doesn't change the ability to fall in love or lust with them. So your entire post is wrong, boo.

3 hours ago, ryanripley said:

i will say this a million times until i die: LGBT PEOPLE NEED SAFE SPACES WITHOUT SEX AND ALCOHOL EVERYWHERE

 

1 hour ago, Doot said:

110% accurate. The **** is annoying af. 

I AM SO GLAD OTHERS FEEL THE SAME AS ME. Why can't we have a super cool cafe or something? I'd much prefer a gay Starbucks esque joint.  

[God Control 2,181]

8 hours ago, Bebe said:

There's no reason to take it personally  The problem isn't you as an individual it's that as a whole 71% of gay men say they would never date a femme guy. There is a reason for that, that's indicative of a society that idolises this cis-sexist, heteronormative ideal of masculinity and a society that shames and ostracises people who don't or can't live up to that ideal. Again, this isn't like "Oh, I personally have a thing for green eyes!" it's 70%+ of gay men that are repulsed by a certain type of person - that's not random, there is a reason behind it. If that fact makes you uncomfortable then sorry, but the solution isn't to just shut up and pretend there isn't a problem. 

Nobody is telling you who you should date or who you should have sex with, although I don't really buy the idea that there is no femme guy you could ever possibly end up liking if you got to know them (and I don't really buy the idea that the society in which you were born and raised has had no influence on you and your thoughts on gender)... What people are saying is that there is a societal problem with the idolisation of particular, harmful gender norms that are restrictive and damaging and that we need to work to confront and dismantle these societal power structures.

I'm not taking it personally, and nowhere did I suggest that femme gays are repulsive. They're just not my type, and I don't find myself and them sexually compatible, and it has nothing to do with how nice they are. I know a hell lot of nice women, women I treasure, but there's no way anything sexual or emotional can happen between me and them. 

I'm simply against the idea that a person's interest in another person is a societal influence. I live in the middle east and a lot of these manly men you mention are either into women or femme gays. I can understand that, to them the "femme" features are a turn on and these men identify as top. So it feels like a compatibility thing more than anything. I'm not sure about the west, but a lot of people claim that "99% of gays are versatile" and I don't know where they even got that percentage from, but if everyone wants to be both top and bottom, it makes sense that they might look down on something that may likely only want to be bottom. Even though I'm not suggesting that every bottom is femme nor that every top has to be Schwarzneggar LOL.

Here's the thing, and let's put it bluntly like this. Someone likes to get ****ed hard, what can a femme guy who also likes to get ****ed do about it? Let's be logical here. I'm not saying femme guys cannot **** someone but they're most likely into the other sexual role. And biologically speaking, isn't sex more pleasurable when you're for example a bottom gay having sex with someone who's strong enough to contain you. If this is your desire, then you're definitely gonna need somebody who's best for that preference and that of course changes from one person to another, but I guess it has much deeper roots in sexual roles, in desires and overall preference. Not simply nor purely societal problem. I didn't choose my partner based on a societal norm, I chose him because he cares about me and turns me on.

This whole notion where some people claim that it's entirely something taught to us is nonsense. There's definitely a social influence, but ultimately the way our body reacts, the way our deep instincts function, it's who we are rather than what we're taught and a lot of people (not saying it's necessarily you) imply that you somehow owe the less desired people something or when some feminists complain that men are into big boobs and specific beauty standards and often claim that all that is because of the "evil fashion magazine beauty standards". I personally believe that these standards didn't just condition people, they were put in order to present the unachievable, to amplify what men desire in a woman or what people generally desire in one another and amplify that to become something magical rather than realistic, but it's still created based on what we desire, what we're wired to like.

[God Control 2,181]

6 hours ago, HauntingHollow said:

not really, being gay is not only wanting ****, from a psychological perception, it is wanting somebody whose is a male, somebody who shows traits of the male sex, feminine gays kinda fail at that, they are more like woman with a ****... body parts play a lesser role than people think they do... sexuality is psychology more than physiology 

I guess it depends on the person. For me, it's definitely not just about the genitalia. Of course, I desire males not females, even if the female had masculine features, or a Female to Male, but the type of men I desire need to be masculine and top only. Those are my desires and they're deeply linked with my sexual role, with my emotions and with the experience of dating and sex as a whole. 

[Flippy 14,248]

As long as they have a butt, idc how masc or fem they are tbh