Feedback on short film?

[ChasingGhosts 726]

Hey guys!

So I'm in the middle of editing my final film school project together and would like some feedback.

FIXING JAMES KINGSLEY | A young man struggles to chose between the love from his boyfriend, or the only family he has left. After coming out to his conservative mother, he is forced into electroshock therapy to fix their broken relationship. 

The password is afttmajor.

It's a ridiculously LQ rough cut of the first two scenes, with no colour grade, sound mix or proper titles. Any criticism or questions are welcome. 

[Ronk 14,762]

I love it.    And the transitions are great.

[Vodka 4,478]

I'm not sure if I'd be any help, but I guess after watching the two scenes, transitions seemed fine for me, I felt like the angles and how the actors were in them, seemed sort of, off. @2:24, when Kingsley starts shaking his head, to then have the camera face his face, seemed a bit expected and sort of took away of the tension from the scene rather than amplify it. I feel like if we see Kingsley just shake his head and gesture from the start to then that scene, it would've elicited more of the tension between them.

I know that in the two scenes, we basically see the Kingsley during his treatment and he sort of makes peace with it somehow, to then have the scene pop thru at the park, with Kingsley and his apparent wife. I liked what you were going for when it came to Kingsley literally being in the middle of his ex and his wife, but it seemed a bit too close, and we didn't really see any reaction or placement as to where his wife was while he and his ex were having their moment. 

I think if the scenes were more angled to be more frontal, it'd look more dramatic, something that I think you might be going for.. Maybe if the transition came from Kingsley's face from the appointment in joy, to then having him just looking down and up again smiling towards his wife at the park would've made it softer but still have it retain it's gravity in the transition's motion.. Maybe if the camera was positioned in a way where it's seen that Kingsley and his wife were leaving in front, to then show his ex in the distance of the frame to have it follow him (his ex) it would've made the scene heavier. Also, like playing with distance, farther to add in the thought of the literal distance growing between them..

I don't know how the rest of the movie is, and where or when this ties in with the film but, if if you think it fits in with the rest of it, it's still ultimately your call. I did like the premise so far, the story seems really solid. 

I ended up ranting, I'm sorry. I do like it tho, and I hope it helps . .