PunkTheFunk 124,405 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Attention Joanne Snippet-Virgins: Is the wait for Joanne ruining your life? Are the Little Monstrosities in this cult giving you a hard time for not listening to the leaked album snippets? Are you tired of wondering whether or not Joanne has #CountryVibes? Look no further. Here at the Snippet-Virgin Safe Space, you can listen to Joanne without listening to Joanne. Yes, you heard me right! For just three easy payments of $0.00 you can listen to songs that have a vague similarity to the LQ album snippets, all in one place! But PunkTheFunk, what's the catch? There is no catch! Other than the fact that you may be disappointed when you find out the songs aren't as good as you thought they would be. Please note that I am legally not responsible for any damages or meltdowns caused. Listen to Hey Girl, which literally has the same beat as "Bennie and the Jets" Just Another Day, which could've easily been a "Magical Mystery Tour" B-Side Come to Mama, which has the standard doo wop chord progression that'll scalp your grandparents bald if they aren't already Dancin' in Circles: think "Sorry", but sexier, a little more laid back, and with Alejandro's spoken pre-chorus as its chorus. BloodPop produced both Sinner's Prayer, the song Neil Young forgot to write, but add more instruments Joanne, the Fleetwood Mac-esque guitar ballad that will trigger your tears faster than Gaga cancels projects Angel Down, "Take Me To Church"'s slightly slower second-cousin with female vocals and less instrumentation Grigio Girls, which reminds me of the guitar work and the "oh-oh"'s in this obscure Canadian pop song. A-Yo, which is what MANiCURE would have sounded like if it spent a year at its grandma's ranch in Tennessee That's all I've got Idk about John Wayne and Diamond Heart. Fill in the blanks y'all I'm out Edit: "John Wayne" serves me 'country roadtrip bop with powerful vocals and a pop beat' while "Diamond Heart" gives me 'millenial roadtrip music circa 2012 that could have made it to ARTPOP if it had more EDM' Hope that helps Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexander Paley 120 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 john wayne - mjh Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
xoxo cupcakke 4,781 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 I am ready for this October 21st release date to just cleanse me of my death defying, oppressively repressive and suppressive reverse Warholian virginity Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poissonche 12,365 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 I'm a snippets virgin, and lol at you calling What I Wouldn't Do obscure when it used to be on the radio 666 times per hour Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quasi 10,923 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 These are all actually pretty accurate. I love that you made the Fleetwood Mac comparison as well cause I thought the same thing. What I wouldn't give for Gaga to make an album full of Fleetwood Mac- esque bops. I don't understand pineapples, so I don't eat bananas. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PunkTheFunk 124,405 Posted October 15, 2016 Author Share Posted October 15, 2016 3 minutes ago, Poissonche said: I'm a snippets virgin, and lol at you calling What I Wouldn't Do when it used to be on the radio 666 times per hour obscure for the non-North American monsters here Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
inuborg 4,136 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 That OP is making me want to listen to the snippets even more now. I love all those songs. I root for you. I love you. You, you, you, you. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poissonche 12,365 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 Just now, PunkTheFunk said: obscure for the non-North American monsters here OK I checked where it charted on Wikipedia and IT'S NOT OBSCURE IT PEAKED AT #8!!!1!1!! Spoiler on the Canadian Hot 100 and also Spoiler peaked at #30 Spoiler on the Canadian Hot Year-end chart. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gardevoir 9,822 Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 jesus it's so accurate. but i don't get john wayne comparison to mary jane holland. It sounds nothing alike in my opinion. Sugar, spice, and everything nice. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 This post is way too american Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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