Fergie - M.I.L.F. $ (ft. Kim K)

[Alcina Dimitrescu 1,156]

2 hours ago, StrawberryBlond said:

I'd rather read the bible ty.

[Stephen 30,431]

@StrawberryBlond I think I understand what you're saying about women and sexuality but it's tricky. The idea that being sexual or naked = empowerment is not necessarily wrong in my opinion, but I think your point that men aren't expected to be the same way is valid. I wonder if Nick Jonas felt empowered when he posed for this photoshoot.

I also think about gay pride. I just went to the parade in NYC last week and it was full of men dressed like this:

Is this empowering? In my opinion I think empowerment is subjective. No one should be shamed for choosing or not choosing to be naked. But perhaps the way to fix the inequality you're describing is not to urge women to tone down their sexuality, but to encourage men to be more sexual! 

In one of your replies you joked about a 41 year old man making a "DILF" video. I personally would find that really hot and entertaining. It's all in good fun, I think, as long as the artist is in control of their sexualiation. 

[StrawberryBlond 14,893]

7 minutes ago, Steve Nasty said:

@StrawberryBlond I think I understand what you're saying about women and sexuality but it's tricky. The idea that being sexual or naked = empowerment is not necessarily wrong in my opinion, but I think your point that men aren't expected to be the same way is valid. I wonder if Nick Jonas felt empowered when he posed for this photoshoot.

I also think about gay pride. I just went to the parade in NYC last week and it was full of men dressed like this:

Is this empowering? In my opinion I think empowerment is subjective. No one should be shamed for choosing or not choosing to be naked. But perhaps the way to fix the inequality you're describing is not to urge women to tone down their sexuality, but to encourage men to be more sexual! 

In one of your replies you joked about a 41 year old man making a "DILF" video. I personally would find that really hot and entertaining. It's all in good fun, I think, as long as the artist is in control of their sexualiation. 

Thanks for being respectful with your opinion.

See, being sexual can only be empowering if you live with a culture that doesn't encourage sexuality. But most of us speaking our minds here are Westerners living in liberal surroundings. Sex has never seemed like something we've been discouraged against, so why would partaking in it seem empowering? Surely it's just normal and natural to us? What depresses me is that a lot of women, particularly young ones, confuse their need for desire with their need for attention and confuse sexuality with empowerment. When you do something that makes you feel good, happy, alive, it can make you feel an odd sense of power. But those feelings are just happy feelings, nothing more than that. Empowerment comes from your achievements. The only way that sex could maybe be used as an empowering feeling is if perhaps a woman who had suppressed her sexuality her whole life and shamed herself finally allowed herself to express her desires and enjoyed them without shame (provided they're not damaging desires, however). But every other situation, sex and empowerment shouldn't coincide. Sex is just a bodily function, yes, it feels good, but that's it. Letting sex validate your existence or feeling depressed when you can't get it...there's nothing empowering about that. Being defined by ones sexuality is a situation a lot of women are in and it's sad to see them not have any confidence in themselves unless they are validated by men.

I think men tend not to feel too ashamed of showing their sexuality because society has raised them to always be in control with that aspect. They are always powerful, even when they're naked, for obvious reasons. A woman, however, is vulnerable when naked. Literally, though, everyone should be vulnerable when naked, you're open to the elements, to stares. But despite what should be an even playing field, men always seem to be in control with their sexuality, women are a lot more more submissive and have to cater to men. Even women whose job is nothing to do with sexuality are sexed up for media appearances whereas for men, it's not seen as important. Honestly, I think empowerment should mean the same to both genders. Why shouldn't it? I think it's odd how you're saying the best way to fix the problem of inequality is to encourage men to be as sexual as women. You're one of the very few men who's ever said this. I don't support the sexualisation of either gender. I am a feminist, but I'm an egalitarian too and I'm fully supportive of men. I don't want to see any human portrayed as nothing more than an object, for their sexuality to be worth more than their personality and achievements. I think we can all be sexual within reason, sexual with a sense of decorum. The focus on overt and explicit sexuality in public is really damaging for both genders. I wish more stuff was kept private and sacred, basically. I think it would do wonders for our self-esteem if we stopped feeling like we're in sexual competition with everyone.

[DemeLarell 931]

1 hour ago, StrawberryBlond said:

And this is why feminists struggle to be heard, when men put us down for apparently over-exaggerating and not lightening up. Some of you have no ideas of the struggles we have had or what it's like to be objectified and degraded. I'm sick of people thinking that feminism is all about "Women have the right to do whatever they want and that's it." It's so much more complex than that and involves sadness and pain and this side is the side no one talks about. I am not criticising every move a woman makes, I am criticsing the choices foisted on them by men and how society has made them have such low self esteem that they feel they have to cater to men to be worthwhile. How dare you tell me I am not a feminist. I've been studying feminism for 12 years and have suffered sexism as a woman. I am not an extremist, I'm just a regular feminist with something to say. I'm not a troll, I've been on this site for over 6 years, have friends and am on good terms with mods. Sad how a view on feminism that you've never heard has to be be attributed to troll behaviour. And I'm 26, actually. The fact you think my opinions of feminism are not credible because of perceived youth really show that you have a lot to learn about feminism.

You're talkin to someone who has also studied not only feminism but human rights. I understand your pain. Trust me. But a woman can do whatever she wants. That is what feminism is. Yes a man could direct these videos but if the woman takes pride in it there is nothing wrong with it. If she us forced to do it then that is where the problem lies.

[Stephen 30,431]

37 minutes ago, StrawberryBlond said:

 

See, being sexual can only be empowering if you live with a culture that doesn't encourage sexuality. But most of us speaking our minds here are Westerners living in liberal surroundings. Sex has never seemed like something we've been discouraged against, so why would partaking in it seem empowering?

Hmm I think the problem is I’m using the word empowerment incorrectly. Forget that. I suppose I can’t think of a better word to describe what I mean than simply “feeling good”. That’s what I’m talking about. When you look good, you feel good. And when you look good naked, you feel even better. I’m not viewing sexualization as a rebellion or some sort of statement.

But those feelings are just happy feelings, nothing more than that. Empowerment comes from your achievements.

You’re absolutely right, but then I say what’s wrong with wanting those happy feelings? As long as it’s your decision to be naked or sexual, the only problem with this I see is that women are consequently reduced to merely sex objects. But perhaps we can even the playing field by sexualizing men too?

I think men tend not to feel too ashamed of showing their sexuality because society has raised them to always be in control with that aspect. They are always powerful, even when they're naked, for obvious reasons. A woman, however, is vulnerable when naked.

But why can’t women be powerful when naked? What is the root cause of them feeling vulnerable where as men tend to be comfortable with their bodies, etc? I think this is an entirely other issue to tackle but I don’t think it should be just accepted as fact. Wouldn’t it be great for women to feel equally as powerful when naked?

Literally, though, everyone should be vulnerable when naked, you're open to the elements, to stares.

That’s debatable. If I’m fully clothed with thin material I’m still vulnerable. I feel like that’s irrelevant. I don’t agree that everyone should feel vulnerable without clothes. But maybe I’m delving now into nudist philosophy 

Even women whose job is nothing to do with sexuality is sexed up for media appearances whereas for men, it's not seen as important.

Absolutely, but is the issue with the “sexing up” itself or the double standard? I’m personally offended by the double standard. If the men in those positions were also “sexed up” I wouldn’t have a problem with it.

I think it's odd how you're saying the best way to fix the problem of inequality is to encourage men to be as sexual as women.

Well, not the only way. I think it’s important for women to acknowledge that their value doesn’t DEPEND on their sexualization. I absolutely want young women to feel valuable and powerful, without feeling like they MUST be sexual. But I also think it would be positive to further the sexualization of men, at the same time.

I don't support the sexualisation of either gender. I am a feminist, but I'm an egalitarian too and I'm fully supportive of men. I don't want to see any human portrayed as nothing more than an object, for their sexuality to be worth more than their personality and achievements.

I am also fully supportive of men. Why can’t a person (man or woman) be sexualized and also retain their integrity, personality, and achievements? My thinking is, if more men were sexualized, the mindset of reducing a naked person to an object would start to become undone.

I wish more stuff was kept private and sacred, basically. I think it would do wonders for our self-esteem if we stopped feeling like we're in sexual competition with everyone.

It probably would. But at this point I don’t think it’s best to try and reverse the sexualization of women, but instead bring men up to an even playing field.

[Brian Ryan 1,468]

On July 3, 2016 at 2:15 PM, StrawberryBlond said:

See, there you go again, putting words into my mouth, making assumptions. I don't want women to wear burqas, I'm actually against that (no offence to the religion, I do have a degree in Religious Studies, though). It's common when you go against the norm for everyone to assume that you're at the exact opposite end of the spectrum and it's wrong. When it comes to sexuality, I'm in the middle ground, I don't support extremes on either side. Yes, empowerment is different for men and women, but I don't see why it should. Sexuality is different, sure, but empowerment? Surely we should be on the same page when it comes to that stuff? Your reasons why a man couldn't do what Fergie does in this video is exactly my point - men don't do this stuff because they know they can't pull it off and look ridiculous. So, why do women think it's empowering? And note that I'm referring to men doing whatever the male equivalent of this video is, however. Yes, women and men will find different things sexy but that doesn't mean that they should have different levels of of dignity and self-respect. I've always hated this culture that makes women feel like they have to flaunt the flesh to be confident, especially as a lot of women who do just that actually do it to hide a LACK of confidence. I would feel LESS confident in underwear than fully clothed. Men are taught the opposite - that being fully clothed is power, to be lesser clothed makes you vulnerable. And I've always said: "If a man shouldn't have to do it, I'm not doing it either."

There's nothing wrong with women sexing it up and having fun, just as long as they do it in a way that isn't objectifying. I'm not asking for depth, just don't degrade yourself. Justin isn't as naked as Fergie in his videos, that's the difference (and male toplessness is different from female toplessness, as stated before). Men simply don't degrade themselves the way women do in videos. Rihanna was dancing for Drake in the second Work video - would a guy dance for a woman in a video? I'm not even talking about the same dance, just a seductive dance of sorts. He wouldn't because the general idea is that men can't dance and can't be sexual in the way that women are, that they have to be dominant at all times. Women, on the other hand, frequently fall into the trap of catering to men in their videos, even if they appear to be in control. Fergie's video is an example for that. It isn't for women, it's a video for the male gaze masquerading as female empowerment. You can call it fun all you want, but don't try to pretend that it's nothing more than the usual objectification. Please note that I had no problem with her LA Love video, and she wore shorts, knee high boots and a bikini in that, as well as twerking. I was fine with it because she was sexy but not trashy, sexual but not a sex object. I have no problem with Lana's video because she told a story that required a bit of female objectification and she's such a good storyteller, that it was perfectly fine. When Lana does sexuality, I feel relaxed. Same with Gaga. Perhaps because their sexuality is never basic, it's mature and complex. When a lot of other popstars do it, I feel tense, mostly because their sexuality is basic, immature and superficial.

 

See there you go again. You just pick and choose with everything. That does not make you feminist. You are just bias towards everything a woman does and how a woman should act or do. You just proved it in your post. You are not a feminist. You are just not. You can't just pick and choose to do that... there's nothing wrong with that you have your views and that's cool. You are bias towards females. Just my personal opinion.

[Psychedelic 1,098]

Looooove the video, the song is meh

Spoiler

Oh, this person again...   not going there, thank you so much... I will let you guys beat that dead horse! 

 

[Chelseaaaaaa 1,453]

My biggest problem with most pop music is it's super recyclable. There's nothing profound about this song. It's lyrically weak and the beats can be found anywhere. The vocal delivery is another story. But, at the end of thed day, it's not like I expect artistic ambition from Fergie anyway.

[Noah 26,972]

I really love this Song

[Lord Temptation 11,209]

I want to like the song because I like the video. But so it's not happening.

[Brian Ryan 1,468]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3674722/Nobody-upset-wore-weaves-Azealia-Banks-admits-bleaching-skin-compares-hair-extensions-nose-jobs-bizarre-video-rant.html

[TheBatman 951]

Song sucks, video is neat I guess, reminds me of California Girls meets Ain't Your Mama. Fergie looks hotter than she's ever been, so there's that. Pretty cringe overall. 

[fede ARTPOP 6,737]

Garbage

[holy scheisse 22,286]

this song sounds very much like rihanna's Cake and Pose mixed together

[James19709 456]

The thing is about this for me is that Kim K is not talented (obviously), and I feel like why are people even checking **** out by people with limited-no talent? Are you guys that bored? To put it politely, it's just bad music.