kiwifromvenus 508 Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 This song and video really means alot to me. I don't know if we are allowed to discuss our experiences or our why's but I believe thats what Gaga wants us to do with this song.Back when I was first out in the Gay scene I decided to get drunk as f*** off a bottle of tequila and my friends went clubbing with me. Cutting that part of the story short we all got in but then I got kicked out. We promised to stick together and I thought that was the norm but then they looked at me as I got kicked out and walked away. Next thing I remember was being in the toilets in a different club with someone shoving amyl in my face as they were doing things with me. I blacked out again and I was on the phone to my friend who was hours away telling her I was entering someone's car but they had a hold of me and I didn't know what to do because I couldn't get away. They had d--gged me up even further than I already was. Next time I wake up I'm in a bed that is like something out of a horror movie and I'm fully clothed but all alone. I hoped to wake up around friends but there was no one there. I called out to them. Finally I awoke another time, this time I awoke with this ugly inside and outside man who was way bigger than me and he was inside me. I tried to push him off. I struggled and I whispered a know because a whisper is all I could muster. Then he kept going. I blacked in and out and he pushed me onto my side and still he kept going. He held me down and I passed out again. Finally I woke up and he was doing himself as I laid there. I got up after he left to check myself as the first thing that went through my mind was HIV. I looked around the house to see if I could find anything to get him in trouble with or to take some money because I felt disgusting. He then came home and had the cheek to say "oh I just went out to get some breakfast do you want some? I got bacon and eggs and bread" I just wanted to get out of there. I felt gross. I felt worthless. I felt diseases. I felt like I wanted to drown myself in alchol. I felt angry with my friends for ditching me in that state because I would NEVER do that!He drove me home because I had to make up an emergency excuse. We were hours away from my house. When we got to my suburb I asked for some money to get home and all he gave me was $20. I felt like is that all I'm worth after that? He asked me my name and said " WE SHOULD DO THIS AGAIN SOMETIME" I was angry and wanted to smash him over. I got out of the car, lit a cigerette and just froze in the sun.To cut this short my friends had the cheek that day to ask for their $20 back that I owed them for club entry. I tried to tell them what happened. They didn't give a F***.I kept it secret for ages and kept the scare that I could have HIV for even longer back then. I've dealt with it since then in my own time and ways and had other experiences as well. Til It Happens to You resonates with me in SO many ways. SO MANY. Her voice, the lyrcis, the video, the film, just GAGA in general. It makes me cry but it also makes me strong. It empowers me. I agree, until it happens to you you can't know how someone feels. This kind of thing is NEVER okay. Its NEVER okay to rape or to s-xuially abuse or be violent. ITS NEVER OKAY for your friends to ditch you in that way and then be snarly to get their money back. SEEK HELP AND REFUGE do NOT bottle up. Get help from people that understand and love and care about you. At the end of the day no one will really know how you feel and no one knows how I felt but this song just fills me up with so much strength so much that I wanted to share this with you all. I have found my way into the light over the years and only I know how much this impacted me. But I am in a place where I can stand tall and proud now. It is always there. And for ages it made me feel like rubbish. Like trash, along with the mistakes I've made recently due to this same thing. But thank you GAGA for giving everyone a voice and showing love and compassion for us all. So proud of you! And to all those that suffer and continue to suffer here is to awareness and spreading the message and discussions.Til it Happens to you, you wont know how I feel. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katsuki Bakugo 9,788 Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 I don't know any words that will help. I just wish I could give you a real life hug. If All You Ever Do Is Look Down On People, You Won't Be Able To Recognize Your Own Weaknesses. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
VTV 12,842 Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 i adore your bravery for sharing your story to the world (something I could never have) btw, your friends are an a**hole Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
malazam 15,710 Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 You're so strong for sharing this, it's awful to be in this kind of situation, I was taken of advantage and it's suck, you feel so dirty and you need to act like everything's ok.... Did you do the HIV test? another shot before we kiss the other side Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwifromvenus 508 Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 I don't know any words that will help. I just wish I could give you a real life hug. i adore your bravery for sharing your story to the world (something I could never have) btw, your friends are an a**hole You're so strong for sharing this, it's awful to be in this kind of situation, I was taken of advantage and it's suck, you feel so dirty and you need to act like everything's ok.... Did you do the HIV test? Thank you guys so much means alot just acknowledging and commenting means alot.This song just spurred me to share this because I've been through alot of different things and I've decided I might as well use my epxerience to help.Those friends are NOT my friends anymore. That broke me and caused me not to trust people for ages. Yes I did and I'm all clear :) Thanks for asking. I remember that day. I was sick for ages before hand due to the experience and stress and depression. I was getting shingles and flu after flu and stuff. On the day of the test results I was with my sister in the waiting froom waiting to go to a 50th and I was like this is the do or die test! Went into the room. She goes through all my vitamin readings and I'm going can you just skip to the most important page and then i saw the words NEGATIVE. One of the happiest moments of my life! :) <3 love you guys Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
malazam 15,710 Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Thank you guys so much means alot just acknowledging and commenting means alot.This song just spurred me to share this because I've been through alot of different things and I've decided I might as well use my epxerience to help.Those friends are NOT my friends anymore. That broke me and caused me not to trust people for ages. Yes I did and I'm all clear :) Thanks for asking. I remember that day. I was sick for ages before hand due to the experience and stress and depression. I was getting shingles and flu after flu and stuff. On the day of the test results I was with my sister in the waiting froom waiting to go to a 50th and I was like this is the do or die test! Went into the room. She goes through all my vitamin readings and I'm going can you just skip to the most important page and then i saw the words NEGATIVE. One of the happiest moments of my life! :) <3 love you guys I'm really glad that you are clear, we love you too! another shot before we kiss the other side Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwifromvenus 508 Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 I really hope this song helps other people! I hope people embrace it! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curunir 7,510 Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 wow. you are extremely brave. keep it up and never let anything diminish your positive attitude Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwifromvenus 508 Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 wow. you are extremely brave. keep it up and never let anything diminish your positive attitude Thank you :) that means alot, even just recognition helps x Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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