Germany urges paedophiles out of the shadows

[Melech 9,900]

"Some men who are s-xually attracted to children would like help to change their condition but fear doctors will tell the police. In Germany, though, a campaign is under way to persuade them to sign up for confidential treatment, even if they have abused a child - and doctors are hailing it as a big success.

Max is a science graduate, in his early thirties. Articulate, with a ready smile and an infectious laugh. He could be your neighbour, your work colleague or your sister's new boyfriend. A nice guy. An average bloke. Except he's also a paedophile. 

Max is s-xually attracted to pre-pubescent girls — typically between the ages of six and 11. It's an urge that for years filled him with self-loathing and despair. 

"I would see a girl, and I would undress the girl in my mind, and it was just disgusting, and I'd say to myself: 'Stop this.' And it just wouldn't stop. I had feelings of disgust and fear," he says. 

Max has never abused a child s-xually, nor does he consume child ****ography — itself a form of indirect abuse, because children are usually involved in its production. In fact Max is just one of many people who feel an attraction to children, but who are determined not to act on it. 

They are sometimes called celibate or "virtuous" paedophiles. The word "paedophilia" describes the s-xual attraction, not the abuse itself, so not all paedophiles are child abusers - and not all child abusers are paedophiles, experts say, since abuse sometimes has other root causes. 

Celibate paedophiles are a hidden segment of the population. They have never committed an offence, so are unknown to the police. And because of the taboo - and the fear of violence from people who think they are child abusers - they usually keep their attraction secret.

 

It's a much bigger group than you might think. Recent research suggests that between 3% and 5% of men, from all social and economic backgrounds, could be s-xually attracted to children. Some are attracted only to girls. Others only to boys. Others to both. And some are also attracted to adults. 

"I don't have greasy hair, pebble glasses and wear tatty clothes," writes Max in a book he has published to help other paedophiles who don't want to abuse children. "There is no such thing as the typical paedophile which people imagine. We are all different, and completely normal people. The only thing we all have in common is a s-xual attraction to children… I am learning to control the s-xual side of my feelings."

He's doing that partly thanks to a radical treatment for paedophiles called the Dunkelfeld Prevention Project, which is in operation at 11 different centres across Germany. 

For a year he attended group therapy, three hours every week.

"It was very painful," he tells me. "It was about getting to know a side of myself that I had hidden, a side that I didn't like to think about. It's painful to acknowledge that you are a paedophile. It was like standing in front of a mirror, and on the one hand thinking: 'What kind of a monster are you?' But it was also very healthy to stand in front of the mirror and say: 'I'm a paedophile, but that's OK, I won't do anything bad.'

"A very important thing is acceptance. To be able to think and feel that paedophilia is a part of me, but it's not what defines me. My actions are what define me."

The treatment is a form of cognitive behavioural therapy which a--lyses past s-xual behaviour and feelings, in order to come up with strategies to avoid potentially abusive situations in the future. Some practical advice is very simple, such as never being alone with a child. Other tactics are more complicated, and involve changing attitudes, for example helping the patient to grasp that s-xual contact with children can never be consensual. 

Controversially, the treatment is also available for men who have abused children in the past — even if that abuse has gone unreported. 

So what does a therapist do if a patient says he has abused a child?

"If he comes to us and says, 'I have done something illegal in the past and don't want to do it again,' and that's the normal case for us, then we can help him to build up his self-regulatory behaviour to not do that again," says Dr Anna Konrad of the Charite hospital in Berlin. 

But surely, I suggest, it's difficult to sit opposite a man who has abused children and try to help him? 

"The main aim of the project is to protect children from being abused, and if I can help the person not to do that again, then for me it's quite clear that I should do that," she says. 

In Germany, therapists are not only not obliged to report past abuse to the authorities, it is illegal to violate the principle of patient confidentiality - unlike in Britain, where therapists have a duty to report.

The British approach makes it extremely difficult to treat someone properly, Konrad says. The past behaviour of abusers can't be a--lysed effectively, and paedophiles rarely come forward for treatment in the first place because of the fear of arrest - if they have committed a crime they are right to be afraid, and even if they haven't they may still consider it too risky.

More than 430 men have started the treatment. And because of a lack of places, there are long waiting lists. Since it was first set up in 2005 more than 5,350 people have contacted the network for advice or to find out more about the therapy. Anna Konrad says patients are asked to fill in a questionnaire at the start of the treatment and at the end - and that a comparison of the two suggests the success rate is good.

"I always knew that I was different, and what others thought about people like me," say masked men in a television commercial — one dressed as a doctor, another as a workman, another as a student.

"No-one is guilty because of their s-xual inclination — but everyone is responsible for their behaviour," says the final young man as he takes the mask off, adding: "I don't want to become an offender."

The tagline of another ad says: "Do you love children more than you'd like to? There is help." 

The idea behind the policy is not to help the perpetrator instead of the victim — but rather to help the potential perpetrator, in order to prevent there being a victim in the first place."

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-33464970

 You can't just act like pedophila doesn't exists nor you can demonizing them as human beings. They need help and Germany did the right thing. 

 

[Tove Lo 2,481]

This is really weird. 

[Minaj 607]

It's really sad when people have those feelings and they hate themselves for it. Good that they are giving people help.

[squeala 875]

paedophilia is not a s-xual orientation... ugh

[RAMROD 118,225]

They need to take dive into deep web to find them.

Them and cannibals.

Yes they are exists.

Many websites in deep web offers live stream snuffs shows,

The show need to be paid with bitcoins or U Kash before one can watch tho.

[mcphee 1,790]

It is really such a tough subject, I'm forever conflicted with my feelings about the whole thing.

[Melech 9,900]

This is really weird. 

How is that weird? Could you please elaborate? 

[Tycho 3,694]

That's sounds really great, I hope it does good for all those people and it in time reduces abuse

[Melech 9,900]

They need to take dive into deep web to find them.

Them and cannibals.

Yes they are exists.

Many websites in deep web offers live stream snuffs shows,

The show need to be paid with bitcoins or U Kash before one can watch tho.

Did you even read the article? 

paedophilia is not a s-xual orientation... ugh

That's debatable since neither is proven. 

[RAMROD 118,225]

Did you even read the article? 

That's debatable since neither is proven. 

Yes, and I wanted them to find it there.

Cos you know that pedos won't come.out of closet by themselves because reasons

That is such naive thought lol

[T3ARS 4,132]

This is a great effort in my opinion.

[Kayla 7,595]

I really hope this goes well. When they can't control their attraction and feel awful for it, I want those people to seek help. They don't want to be that way, they aren't hurting kids, and they aren't supporting child ****ography. Those people should be helped, not degraded. 

[Melech 9,900]

Yes, and I wanted them to find it there.

Cos you know that pedos won't come.out of closet by themselves because reasons

That is such naive thought lol

The article stated there are already 430 in treatment and they have a long wait list. 

[calmar 22,831]

I'm very glad that this approach is out there and is working.

 

[honza 2,194]

This is all just generally speaking, not to anyone in this thread

The people who oppose stuff like this and say that these people are disgusting and "monsters" etc need to stop.

Like, I can't at people who don't know what it feels like acting like they know everything. They are people, too, and some of them have never done anything bad.

And I know that I don't know exactly what it's like but I think that my situation of feeling like I'm a monster and being afraid to tell anyone that I'm gay and suffering from depression because of that for years since I was 13 gives me a kind of an insight I guess. And even know people are thankfully much more cool about someone being gay nowadays, it's still like they think they know what it feels like, how it "works", like those who tell me that it's my choice and when I tell them it's not they just sigh like they know better than me  

On topic though:

I applaud this effort, those people aren't necessarily BAD people, and it's not their fault they feel that way (of course, if they're abusers, that's something different). It's great that there's somebody offering them help!

I absolutely agree