Xgongiviguess 396 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 A married couple in Florida, Tito and Amanda Watts, were arrested a few days ago for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people. They sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold, and that each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven — simply present the ticket at the pearly gates and you’re in. Tito Watts said in his police statement: "I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of d--gs. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up...." Amanda Watts said in her police statement:" "We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and do d--gs. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched." Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, d--g paraphernalia, and a baby alligator. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Didymus 34,380 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Oh my. This OP is just humor material for days. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Didymus 34,380 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Literally saving this. This is so ****ing genius Can you give me the source? I wanna post this on FB Nvm, found it Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diamond Heart 4,400 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 'And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space'I feel a bit bad for laughing, because this person could have mental health issues but lmaooooo "GGD IS NOT FOR YOU" - Admin Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lego 44,165 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 wth? FreePalestine Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
antpats2 4,219 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 last time I was at a KFC, part of the roof caved in and collapsed and it was shut early, and I missed out on buying food. Looks like Jesus doesn't like ALL KFC's. How anti-equality/loving of him Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serendipity 7,821 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 at the entire article Oh my. This OP is just humor material for days. I agree, Oscar for Comedy tbh See talent here-->http://bit.ly/2eqeUxK Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rino 5,124 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 a baby alligator 月にかわって、おしおきよ!🌙 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainingOnMe 7,280 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 looks like they took ecstacy to the extreme Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slojo 51 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 As crazy as this pair are I'm willing to bet some idiots actually bought a ticket Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Economy 52,838 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 Jesus gave it to them behind the KFC???? Present them at the gates? what bugs me the most is not how mental this couple is, but how many hundreds of ppl fell for it EDIT: what the hell were they doing with a baby aligator? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CannaeDrive 3,412 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 As crazy as this pair are I'm willing to bet some idiots actually bought a ticket You know what they say : There's a ****** born every minute. "Fame Is A Boomerang" - Maria Callas Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morphine Prince 109,645 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 What even Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetEscape 654 Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 MESS Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NathanC 938 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 Literally saving this. This is so ****ing genius Can you give me the source? I wanna post this on FB Nvm, found it http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/goldentickets.asp Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Featured Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.