JacobLindell 0 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 one of my newer poetry pieces i just need some opinions on it thank you so much i truly appreciate any input- GOOD OR BAD BOY WHO CRIED RAPE And I'd never felt loved till that day Just the word love felt hard to say Oh all those nights I'd lye awake And wish I was with you But every touch now lined with spikes I couldn't manage to realize Oh how I lost myself in those eyes Tell me what was I to do? You changed the boy that I once was No longer boy, just a disgust You said I should keep my mouth shut And let you do what you have to.. And with your hands around my neck You squeezed the life, no last words said A piece of me died there in that bed Oh how I'd pray that it ends soon And on the bed where "love" was made I'd set the fire and watch the flames And as it turned to ash I'd smile and wave To the boy that I once knew Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melech 9,900 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I really don't understand "rape" in there Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacobLindell 0 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 I really don't understand "rape" in there read it again lol Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
retroglamx 5,087 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 that's sort of disturbing it's well written, though. Pink flamingos always fascinated me. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diamond Heart 4,400 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 As soon as i saw the word 'rape' i was like :roll: But reading it, it made me tear up a bit, i actually identify with this poem. "GGD IS NOT FOR YOU" - Admin Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacobLindell 0 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 As soon as i saw the word 'rape' i was like :roll: But reading it, it made me tear up a bit, i actually identify with this poem. aw thank you im glad you can relate to it! i love when people can connectttt Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
haydania 0 Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 :'( Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ItsTommyBitch 12,640 Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 This is beautiful. 私自身もこの世の中も誰もかれもが, どんなに華やかな人生でも, どんなに悲惨な人生でも, いつかは変貌し, 破壊され、消滅してしまう. すべてがもともとこの世に存在しない一瞬の幻想なのだから Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DONOVAN 0 Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 This is beautiful. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHROMATICA 2020 477 Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 This piece is really wonderful, it creates so many emotions. Great job! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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