Grindr Pays £26 Millions To Settle UK Lawsuit For Allegedy Sharing Users HIV Status

[Bronco 27,305]

Folks legit reading what they want, making up a false scenario on the basis and then being mad about it.

And then wondering why people feel the need to avoid sharing their status.

[PartySick 174,046]

2 hours ago, Bronco said:

I mean, providing they're undetectable then they are less of a health risk to you than someone who's HIV- when it comes to a one and done hookup. 

Like, the person you are responding to said the person tells their partners. They just don't have it on their profile. 
So I'm not sure why you'd be angry if you're Kelly Clarkson when it comes to grindr lol

And like....people throw out abuse on grindr for literally no reason other than you look at their profile. Why give them something to use against you like being HIV+. 

 

1 hour ago, timdrake said:

I can understand that. In the same way that you might not just take a hookup's word for it when they say they're on PrEP, you may not know a potential sexual partner with HIV well enough to trust that they're consistent with their meds & you'll be protected during sex. That, plus the fact that society isn't always fully educated on what the risks, or lack thereof, are.

However, if someone is undetectable, the science states the chance of spreading is zero. 

So basically it comes down to trust. I do support people disclosing the information to potential partners, because it IS a health-related issue, and a purposeful health-related omission takes away their ability to make a consenting choice about whether they want to engage or not. (Hell, if a hookup had a non-open spouse they didn't tell me about, I'd feel some type of way for that too, but I digress...) But that doesn't mean folks should react hatefully or with rudeness if someone tells them they're HIV+. 

The burden shouldn't just be on HIV+ people to teach others though. If you're (not you specifically, just anyone) mature enough to engage in sex, you should be educated enough to know what the risks and facts are. The information is out there, just not as well-dispersed in the education system as it could be. 

 

5 minutes ago, RaveMonster said:

I don’t think it’s inherently irresponsible but you don’t have to disclose your status on Grindr to have an account, you can simply leave it blank. Lying about it to people who you are actually hooking up with is not what I would consider responsible.

Stigma is a terrible thing but lying about your status just contributes to it. Not everyone should know your status but if you’re having sex with someone maybe you should talk about these things and if they feel a certain way then maybe you shouldn’t be having sex with them to begin with.

Yeah, it's really just about being open and honest with potential partners.

But again, that's just my personal stance. I don't view casual sex as a positive thing at all to begin with.

I've got a mixture of a conservative upbringing and SA trauma informing my "if you don't tell me your middle name, HIV and other diseases status, and your life's story than you ain't even seeing a bare elbow, dawg" stance  

It goes without saying that there's a way to be respectful about everything. Respectfully declining someone who's disclosed their HIV+ status, regardless of the treatment they're on, should be fine imo. Respectfully declining anyone for any reason, actually.

But as y'all said, those apps are toxic to begin with so...idk, not my monkey, not my circus, maybe I should keep my opinions to myself  

[timdrake 2,385]

27 minutes ago, PartySick said:

I don't view casual sex as a positive thing at all to begin with.

...idk, not my monkey, not my circus, maybe I should keep my opinions to myself  

iiiiii feel ya. I was wild in my earlier adult years (and teenage years tbh), but now I'm a bit more chill and would rather have a guaranteed good time alone than stress about procuring a hookup, etc. that might not be great.

Not to say I don't have my fun, but it just doesn't rule my life by any stretch of the imagination these days. I have a rule that I won't drive more than 30 minutes for a hookup unless they're already a friend whom I want to actually hang out with too, haha 

Sadly I have a lot of friends who either had very repressed upbringings, or are/were in unhappy relationships, and all they seem to do is spend their weekends taking anonymous d***s to fill some sort of void  and I'm not being judgmental, they get in their feels from time to time and say as much 

But I guess it's like anything... if you're doing it for the right reasons and it's not an unsafe addiction, have fun y'all

Edited yesterday at 09:05 PM by timdrake

[RaveMonster 661]

1 hour ago, Bronco said:

Its not lying about it if you tell your partners though. 

Swear none y'all read.

If I put I’m 6’3 and then I tell you I’m 5’8 once we are chatting or in person I still lied on my profile. That’s not how truth works lol. Even with something as irrelevant as you being 30 but saying you’re 29, just don’t put your age if you don’t feel comfortable putting you’re 30. A  lie may not carry any malicious intent but it is still a lie.

Waiting to tell someone you are actually not negative once you’re with them or during your chats doesn’t lower your risks of getting harassed, it literally just increases them compared to just simply not disclosing any status on your profile and talking about it once you’re chatting with someone. What do you even gain from disclosing the wrong status instead of not choosing any at all? The app doesn’t force you to disclose anything

[Bronco 27,305]

2 hours ago, PartySick said:

if you don't tell me your middle name, HIV and other diseases status, and your life's story than you ain't even seeing a bare elbow, dawg" stance  

Honestly its an understandable and reasonble stance.

I get my hackles up at how often people are like "its disgusting if someone who's undetectable doesn't disclose their status" during things like drunken hookups, cruising encounters etc. But then in real life they *never* would stop in any of those circumstances and ask someone their status/last test etc - but automatically assume because someone has HIV they are more dangerous than Chad the DL frat guy who's never took a STI check in his life. 

[PartySick 174,046]

1 hour ago, Bronco said:

Honestly its an understandable and reasonble stance.

I get my hackles up at how often people are like "its disgusting if someone who's undetectable doesn't disclose their status" during things like drunken hookups, cruising encounters etc. But then in real life they *never* would stop in any of those circumstances and ask someone their status/last test etc - but automatically assume because someone has HIV they are more dangerous than Chad the DL frat guy who's never took a STI check in his life. 

Very true. 50% of the responsibility in that equation is on the non-HIV+ person to get as least basic knowledge and establish whether their perspective partner for the evening is trustworthy to their standards and whether they feel comfortable with any information they're given.

I do wanna be clear that I wasn't trying to offend or even make comparisons  DL Chad is always a bad choice 'cause you're gonna be scraping the barnacles off your boat after him either way. HIV+ but not contagious guy who's wary to give that information, for valid reasons or not, is just a decision each partner is gonna make for themselves, I just feel they should be honest and the other person should be respectful regardless of their choice.

I'm just about the mutual respect and responsibility thing  if you're gonna slam your naked bodies together at least do it honestly and with kindness