Gaga Tribute Poem

[ALonelyNight 92]

This is a work in progress, but I'm ready to share it for feedback. 

I've been wanting to write a poem about Gaga for a while now, and it's proven quite difficult, as I keep encountering writer's block. Despite this, I wrote quite a bit, it's just not up to par with some of my other work. Currently I have the poem in four thematic sections, describing in order Gaga's journey, our love of her, and a closing epilogue of sorts.

Let me know what you all think.

 

"She howled at the stage she'd stood upon
A horror for the thousands gathered before 
She must have wondered in that agony 
Felled by her self-crafted infamy
"Is this the world I was destined for?"

Having taken that road to nowhere
I can only imagine the pain she felt
Had her own heels propelled her
Or had a monstrous storm hurled her
To the stage where she now knelt?

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

This city keeps no secrets
Every insult slung finds someone to hit
And I'm sure she'd assumed that with the glamour and glitz
She could escape it, that nothing could hurt her

For years she rode that high of fame and cocaine
Every mockery met a provocation
Made of flesh and glitter, crystal and flame
Built to withstand those abominations
But as sleepless weeks became months and then years
She could no longer be at the end of the day
Who she needed to be for herself

And with all she stood for that fateful night?
Thousands pouring their souls out into the lights
Erupting from towertops and flesh motorbikes
It split her in two
For she could no longer stand
Alone on the love from millions of fans
Who - in the end - don't know her
For the mortal, short statured woman she is

The community is only growing older
Bonds are unwinding
Passions are extinguishing
And that sense of belonging I needed as a child
That I still crave now
Is harder and harder to find

But it's still out there...

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

It lives in this city
Where she made her claim to fame
And built her name on every streetlight here
Where her brood would gather when they had nothing else
To guide them through but their deepest fears
Millions of screams filling that void
If just for that moment
Pouring their hearts out
Surrendering life, if just for that night

It lives inside of her
And for as long as she's here
Nothing can vanquish that light
And though it pains me to say that all bones enfeeble
All voices lose power
That we will all have our hour 
I find solace in knowing I have spent that time well

It lives in the memory of those that we lost
Can you see them?
Ordered stars in the nighttime sky
They sing with us as they should have
They win the battles they fought so dearly
It's so easy to reach out and nearly hold them
If only we could just
Go
Back

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Constant driver of our love
Though I've never met you
You are the first I turn to
In visions of rapture
And in moments of truth
When I forget what I'm after
When I'm bound by my youth
When my world's at its weakest
And I cannot move
But to play your music
You wondrous muse
Sing and I will move
Sing and we will move
Sing and the world will move

[gagzus 22,881]

I love this it’s very visceral and paints a picture of her we all know and love but translates details that are over complicated into streamlined description. I love the abrupt ending and the final stanza that makes Gaga feel more like your muse than just our celeb obsession, it feels more like a hymn almost.

For a writer’s editing perspective I will say some of it can be tightened up and the biggest issue is the inconsistency of tone in your prose shifts from something a bit more Shakespearean to conversational at times, which dont always sit together comfortably. You have mythic register and a more modern voice. 
 

For example;  “Felled by her self-crafted infamy” is more Shakespearean and mythic in description of her.

 “Who - in the end - don’t know her For the mortal, short statured woman she is” comes across with more modern voice.

Not necessarily bad, but sometimes writing requires editing to make some things consistent. I also think you didn’t need to stack so much symbolism into  “Made of flesh and glitter, crystal and flame” reducing down the symbolic ideas makes it more vivid because it lets whoever is reading it paint a much clearer picture in their head.

But bravo! I love it  

Edited 46 minutes ago by gagzus