RIP to a great GGD member

[calmar 22,037]

Oh wow. I'm speechless.

[candiedroses 408]

We remained in contact for years, but drifted apart sometime in the last couple of years. I had absolutely no clue this happened, and I am so shocked & saddened to hear. Rest in paradise, old friend. 
 

As a member of the trans community myself, this really hits. We got to take care of one another & help make this world a more accepting place. Too many of my friends have met a similar fate, so many in the last couple of years- it truly is a worldwide crisis. 

Edited February 6 by candiedroses

[phantasmas 9,927]

Rest in Paradise 

[ChicaSkas 22,283]

It's so sad. I remember she would tease me because our usernames were 1 letter off. And she always had something nice to say. And we loved Pokemon! She is still on my 3ds Friends list in pokemon x and y... I miss her already.... its funny how if you lose track of people sometimes this happens... thank goodness YoMada reached out to me on Insta to ask... at least we know now. 

[Gagaism 9,923]

She used to be very active, a very popular member. I recall one of her last posts she was excited talking about someone she met who was a relative of some famous person. 
Very sad news. RIP.

[Robo Ga 15,031]

Wow 😭 I remember her as well, she was always kind and her posts were sweet and funny. RIP little monster  

[calmar 22,037]

1 hour ago, ChicaSkas said:

this is so sad. It looks like she's passed away.

I've tried looking up an obituary but I'm not finding anything. Since she had been / was already / was in the process of transitioning, it could be under her "dead" name of the old gender.

I did notice that in the FB post her last name is given as Hudson, whereas her social media profiles have the surname Savarino. Maybe she completely scrubbed her name and started afresh?

[Gardevoir 9,632]

Wow it’s really disheartening. I remember reading her posts about transition and watching her progress. And I also remember her struggles with love and family. ☹️

[StrawberryBlond 14,015]

My jaw dropped when I saw the update to this. I guess now I can give a more detailed story because I no longer have to protect her privacy.

Nikki and I go way back. She's the first person I formed a friendship with here. She was a keen songwriter and wished to become famous and would always send me songs she'd written, inspired by some of her favourite artists like Gaga, Lana Del Rey and Kim Petras. She suffered a lot through her quest to transition, especially with gaining acceptance from her dad, although he started to come around to her towards the end. She was unlucky in love but love was what she really wanted. If I remember rightly, she did marry her boyfriend but divorced him very quickly and moved on with a new man but that eventually ended too. She started dabbling in lower grade drugs like weed and mushrooms to cope with mental struggles. The most tragic thing was her battle with depression and her suicide attempts. I remember the time she sent me a message saying she was going to do it and saying goodbye and I freaked out, knowing that I was the last person who could stop her and I'd feel so guilty if she did it but I was helplessly through a screen and halfway across the world. In desperation, I made a GGD thread, asking everyone to band together and send her well wishes so she knew she was needed and loved and amazingly, she stayed with us but she privately made me promise that if she ever tried to do this again that I wouldn't resort to these measures. So, when she did later on tell me she was going to do it once more (she even sent me a photo of what she was going to use which was so disturbing), I just clammed up and prayed God would watch over her. Again, she didn't follow through and thankfully, attempts became a thing of the past, though she still struggled emotionally with depression for years after. She took a big break from the forum and when she came back, she was telling me that she was dating Post Malone's cousin (I know, I still don't know how they met) and shockingly, that she was taking coke at parties, which was the hardest drug she'd ever taken. I was shocked and told her she really shouldn't but she insisted it was fine and she was taking it responsibly. We last spoke in September of 2022 with her giving no indication she was leaving and ever since, I've been fearing that she died of an overdose more than suicide. I've kept hopeful that she would come back very soon. I was actually getting a feeling that she'd return in about a month or two. Sadly, that feeling was actually this topic announcement...

Because of our age gap and the advice I'd give her, she'd affectionately call me Big Sister sometimes and I'd in turn call her Little Sister. So, I hope you're looking down on us now, Little Sister Nikki. Just know that we tried our best to save you and you'll be sadly missed. Until we meet again, 

Your friend, StrawberryBlond, aka Rachel, aka Big Sister. x 

 

1 hour ago, ChicaSkas said:

if anyone knows what her "dead" name was before she transitioned I'd love to know it, I can find out more with that because if her family was ultra conservative it could be that they deadnamed her in the obit. 

Since she called herself Nikki, there's a big chance she could have been been Nick or Nicholas before? I'm not even sure if Hudson was her real surname, although judging by her friend's post, it would suggest so. Have you tried reaching out to him on Facebook to ask? She was mostly in New York and Boston, if that helps on where you look up obituaries. 

[River 104,869]

The news is devastating, I honestly wish that we're all wrong and she's alive and well.

 

[ChicaSkas 22,283]

11 minutes ago, calmar said:

I did notice that in the FB post her last name is given as Hudson, whereas her social media profiles have the surname Savarino. Maybe she completely scrubbed her name and started afresh?

Exactly. I recently joined a for-pay people search site to find my mom's old high school friends for her reunion. So I've had a ton of new found experience with that site to find folks. Well.... I tried every combo of Nicole, Hudson, Savarino, and New York and I still can't find a obituary. It's frustrating until I remembered deadnames.

[ChicaSkas 22,283]

9 minutes ago, StrawberryBlond said:

My jaw dropped when I saw the update to this. I guess now I can give a more detailed story because I no longer have to protect her privacy.

Nikki and I go way back. She's the first person I formed a friendship with here. She was a keen songwriter and wished to become famous and would always send me songs she'd written, inspired by some of her favourite artists like Gaga, Lana Del Rey and Kim Petras. She suffered a lot through her quest to transition, especially with gaining acceptance from her dad, although he started to come around to her towards the end. She was unlucky in love but love was what she really wanted. If I remember rightly, she did marry her boyfriend but divorced him very quickly and moved on with a new man but that eventually ended too. She started dabbling in lower grade drugs like weed and mushrooms to cope with mental struggles. The most tragic thing was her battle with depression and her suicide attempts. I remember the time she sent me a message saying she was going to do it and saying goodbye and I freaked out, knowing that I was the last person who could stop her and I'd feel so guilty if she did it but I was helplessly through a screen and halfway across the world. In desperation, I made a GGD thread, asking everyone to band together and send her well wishes so she knew she was needed and loved and amazingly, she stayed with us but she privately made me promise that if she ever tried to do this again that I wouldn't resort to these measures. So, when she did later on tell me she was going to do it once more (she even sent me a photo of what she was going to use which was so disturbing), I just clammed up and prayed God would watch over her. Again, she didn't follow through and thankfully, attempts became a thing of the past, though she still struggled emotionally with depression for years after. She took a big break from the forum and when she came back, she was telling me that she was dating Post Malone's cousin (I know, I still don't know how they met) and shockingly, that she was taking coke at parties, which was the hardest drug she'd ever taken. I was shocked and told her she really shouldn't but she insisted it was fine and she was taking it responsibly. We last spoke in September of 2022 with her giving no indication she was leaving and ever since, I've been fearing that she died of an overdose more than suicide. I've kept hopeful that she would come back very soon. I was actually getting a feeling that she'd return in about a month or two. Sadly, that feeling was actually this topic announcement...

Because of our age gap and the advice I'd give her, she'd affectionately call me Big Sister sometimes and I'd in turn call her Little Sister. So, I hope you're looking down on us now, Little Sister Nikki. Just know that we tried our best to save you and you'll be sadly missed. Until we meet again, 

Your friend, StrawberryBlond, aka Rachel, aka Big Sister. x 

 

Since she called herself Nikki, there's a big chance she could have been been Nick or Nicholas before? I'm not even sure if Hudson was her real surname, although judging by her friend's post, it would suggest so. Have you tried reaching out to him on Facebook to ask? She was mostly in New York and Boston, if that helps on where you look up obituaries. 

I did reach out to him. No word yet. 

[Mindblown 6,689]

9 minutes ago, StrawberryBlond said:

My jaw dropped when I saw the update to this. I guess now I can give a more detailed story because I no longer have to protect her privacy.

Nikki and I go way back. She's the first person I formed a friendship with here. She was a keen songwriter and wished to become famous and would always send me songs she'd written, inspired by some of her favourite artists like Gaga, Lana Del Rey and Kim Petras. She suffered a lot through her quest to transition, especially with gaining acceptance from her dad, although he started to come around to her towards the end. She was unlucky in love but love was what she really wanted. If I remember rightly, she did marry her boyfriend but divorced him very quickly and moved on with a new man but that eventually ended too. She started dabbling in lower grade drugs like weed and mushrooms to cope with mental struggles. The most tragic thing was her battle with depression and her suicide attempts. I remember the time she sent me a message saying she was going to do it and saying goodbye and I freaked out, knowing that I was the last person who could stop her and I'd feel so guilty if she did it but I was helplessly through a screen and halfway across the world. In desperation, I made a GGD thread, asking everyone to band together and send her well wishes so she knew she was needed and loved and amazingly, she stayed with us but she privately made me promise that if she ever tried to do this again that I wouldn't resort to these measures. So, when she did later on tell me she was going to do it once more (she even sent me a photo of what she was going to use which was so disturbing), I just clammed up and prayed God would watch over her. Again, she didn't follow through and thankfully, attempts became a thing of the past, though she still struggled emotionally with depression for years after. She took a big break from the forum and when she came back, she was telling me that she was dating Post Malone's cousin (I know, I still don't know how they met) and shockingly, that she was taking coke at parties, which was the hardest drug she'd ever taken. I was shocked and told her she really shouldn't but she insisted it was fine and she was taking it responsibly. We last spoke in September of 2022 with her giving no indication she was leaving and ever since, I've been fearing that she died of an overdose more than suicide. I've kept hopeful that she would come back very soon. I was actually getting a feeling that she'd return in about a month or two. Sadly, that feeling was actually this topic announcement...

Because of our age gap and the advice I'd give her, she'd affectionately call me Big Sister sometimes and I'd in turn call her Little Sister. So, I hope you're looking down on us now, Little Sister Nikki. Just know that we tried our best to save you and you'll be sadly missed. Until we meet again, 

Your friend, StrawberryBlond, aka Rachel, aka Big Sister. x 

 

Since she called herself Nikki, there's a big chance she could have been been Nick or Nicholas before? I'm not even sure if Hudson was her real surname, although judging by her friend's post, it would suggest so. Have you tried reaching out to him on Facebook to ask? She was mostly in New York and Boston, if that helps on where you look up obituaries. 

Didn't expect to cry today omg  may she rest in peace

[Gagaism 9,923]

15 minutes ago, StrawberryBlond said:

My jaw dropped when I saw the update to this. I guess now I can give a more detailed story because I no longer have to protect her privacy.

Nikki and I go way back. She's the first person I formed a friendship with here. She was a keen songwriter and wished to become famous and would always send me songs she'd written, inspired by some of her favourite artists like Gaga, Lana Del Rey and Kim Petras. She suffered a lot through her quest to transition, especially with gaining acceptance from her dad, although he started to come around to her towards the end. She was unlucky in love but love was what she really wanted. If I remember rightly, she did marry her boyfriend but divorced him very quickly and moved on with a new man but that eventually ended too. She started dabbling in lower grade drugs like weed and mushrooms to cope with mental struggles. The most tragic thing was her battle with depression and her suicide attempts. I remember the time she sent me a message saying she was going to do it and saying goodbye and I freaked out, knowing that I was the last person who could stop her and I'd feel so guilty if she did it but I was helplessly through a screen and halfway across the world. In desperation, I made a GGD thread, asking everyone to band together and send her well wishes so she knew she was needed and loved and amazingly, she stayed with us but she privately made me promise that if she ever tried to do this again that I wouldn't resort to these measures. So, when she did later on tell me she was going to do it once more (she even sent me a photo of what she was going to use which was so disturbing), I just clammed up and prayed God would watch over her. Again, she didn't follow through and thankfully, attempts became a thing of the past, though she still struggled emotionally with depression for years after. She took a big break from the forum and when she came back, she was telling me that she was dating Post Malone's cousin (I know, I still don't know how they met) and shockingly, that she was taking coke at parties, which was the hardest drug she'd ever taken. I was shocked and told her she really shouldn't but she insisted it was fine and she was taking it responsibly. We last spoke in September of 2022 with her giving no indication she was leaving and ever since, I've been fearing that she died of an overdose more than suicide. I've kept hopeful that she would come back very soon. I was actually getting a feeling that she'd return in about a month or two. Sadly, that feeling was actually this topic announcement...

Because of our age gap and the advice I'd give her, she'd affectionately call me Big Sister sometimes and I'd in turn call her Little Sister. So, I hope you're looking down on us now, Little Sister Nikki. Just know that we tried our best to save you and you'll be sadly missed. Until we meet again, 

Your friend, StrawberryBlond, aka Rachel, aka Big Sister. x 

 

 

That’s was intense. You’re a really good friend, so sorry for your lost. 

[Killa 15,533]

I was not expecting this. It’s def sad news. I only have an online projection of chic but it’s a very good. She was kind, a good balance of fun and serious, solar, wouldn’t pull everything towards her. Def one of the members I had great esteem. Must have been a very strong person. That’s how I envision and will remember.