Demi's 'California Sober' is extremely offensive to Lala Kent

[ToxicHot 6,444]

36 minutes ago, A MESS said:

So you're telling me that this attitude is not toxic. I said a snappy remark towards you and you're foaming at the mouth lol

No, I just won’t allow people to walk all over me lol. If you don’t believe my “foaming at the mouth” was necessary (which is a strange exaggeration, by the way? lmao), well neither was yours.
 

Don’t go picking for fights and expect people to not respond.  

[A MESS 3,938]

54 minutes ago, ToxicHot said:

No, I just won’t allow people to walk all over me lol. If you don’t believe my “foaming at the mouth” was necessary (which is a strange exaggeration, by the way? lmao), well neither was yours.
 

Don’t go picking for fights and expect people to not respond.  

Don't tell your mother kiss one another die for each other we're cool for the summer

[Zeth 929]

Everyone’s journey is different. The gate keeping is dumb. 

just have some sugar free froyo and get along girls

[Lilmonzter 2,864]

She is entitled to her opinion. 

Even if it is wrong. 

[Pablo 7,853]

8 hours ago, Sturn29 said:

Yall realise two opinions can exist simultaneously and be just as valid as each other, right. 

Demi is obviously on their own journey with sobriety, their art reflects that in the song.

Someone is also allowed to find it offensive, if they are on their own journey.

Just because Demi is on their own journey doesnt mean this other person isnt on their own journey too.

please respect people with substance abuse problems.

No reason for Lala to bring them into the conversation. She's absolutely allowed to have her opinion on her own sobriety but why drag another person down on their own journey?

[Jay.P 2,336]

I mean, as Demi said, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to addiction, and they know this because they tried certain ways and had no success. The road to recovery is never the same for everyone and involves trial and error. It's not like they're saying it out of their a** either, we do know they did try total abstinence and sobriety for like 5+ years and it just didn't work  All those years of pretending to be okay, to not think of drugs or have them around, overworking to keep busy and not have the time to think, having a toxic team who thought they were "helping", and even being deprived of having sweets just to realize at one point all of that was useless and that they've actually been miserable the whole time. That ultimately led to them relapsing. The thing is the team's entire focus was on monitoring Demi, keeping their surroundings free of triggers, even to the point of not allowing people to have certain foods or say certain things around Demi to keep the cravings suppressed. They were really dealing with the symptoms and trying to block them, not the original problem. I know they probably had a therapist along the way but obviously there's still unresolved sh*t to deal with if they still felt the need to use. They either have more work and self-discovery to do or haven't yet cracked their code. There could obviously be other reasons for one to use but in my opinion untreated mental illness, unresolved past trauma, suppressed emotions/feelings/behaviors and unfavorable life conditions are what it usually comes down to. I hope they find the strength and enlightment they need to figure this out because they deserves it. They should be allowed to: take as much time as needed, have their own pace, and be able to decide what works best for them and what doesn't. 

I've had problems with heroin addiction myself. Let me tell you, it's terrifying when it suddenly hits you that your body now depends on a substance to function normally and how it took over you before you knew it. Your whole life shifts and gradually becomes centered around ensuring that substance is always available just so you don't end up shutting down and suffering in bed. It quickly becomes the center of your universe and nothing/nobody else matters anymore. It sort of creeps up on you and now it's there and you don't know how. It gets so bad that sometimes you start behaving in a way that doesn't align with your own values, just to secure whatever you need. You're in denial, you lie to yourself and everyone around, you even try to steal and manipulate your loved ones just to get your next fix. All of that becomes normal to you where it was never even an option before, even you are shocked by it yourself. It's scary to find yourself in dangerous places, around dangerous people because you're addicted, and even scarier when your tolerance rises so fast (i'm talking in a matter of few days) you're quickly forced to use larger doses, and when you stop feeling it, you use other dangerous routes of administration like injecting which makes more of drug available in your blood and gives you a rush but comes with life-threatening risks such as infections, collapsed veins, blood clots, missed injections, vein thrombosis, among others..

At this point, I knew the situation is becoming out of hand. You transform, beyond your control, into a totally different person and people start to shame and condemn for it. You also start to find yourself in more humiliating situations more frequently. For many people the guilt and embarrassement are too much and can trigger even more abusive behavior, especially with all the stigma around drug users and addiction. Not very long after that, you are somehow even more isolated than before, your friends are giving up on you one by one, and ironically whatever condition or symptom you were using the drugs to relieve gets even worse. It's like everything goes in reverse, even your brain turns against you sometimes. After a while, the illusion of feeling better fades away, and the heroin actually exacerbated my depression, not to mention the constant horrible feeling of doom that comes during withdrawal even keeps lingering after. You feel like everything is slipping away and by that time the heroin is doing your body more harm than good, yet you still want to use it, or rather can't stop using. It's a horrible cycle to be stuck in, and nobody around that hasn't gone through addiction really understands your behavior. Surprisingly to me, however, even during all that mess I still knew I was turning into what I always said i'd never be, and never really totally lost my common sense. Some people lose their rationality during addiction, they actually start supporting and defending their actions, and that ignorance of the extreme harm can be deadly. Thankfully I didn't lose my self-awareness and still knew inside that the only way to keep me from abusing drugs and relapsing all the time, is to dig deep and work on the core problem(s) that's making me use in the first place. The first step was to actually want a way out of all of it. I needed to admit to myself and my family that I needed help, and then to accept that life is ups and downs no matter what, and it will just never possible to constantly live on a high. Trying to live like that is stupid and is a short fast road that inevitably leads to a dead end. I mean, at this point the focus becomes less on whether i'm "california sober" or not, and more about just keeping me alive really. The thing is I initially used drugs from curiosity and having fun, until it turned to what I need to cope and self medicate. Addiction is so good at keeping you hooked that I had also convinced myself I've had so many downs in my life I now deserve nothing but ups, so I kept drugging myself. I also know that I can't stand how lethargic and uninterested my depression makes me, it sucks all my energy dry and makes me unproductive. One of the reasons I took heroin is because it made me be okay with, or sometimes even enjoy sitting still and doing nothing. I was also using it to blunt negative emotions that I always feel intensely and to calm my mind when it's being so loud and self deprecating that nothing shuts it up. Basically it helped me to stop caring about everything and that was exactly what I needed being a highly sensitive person who cares and extremely overthinks everything. Among other things...

Heroin still haunts me to this day, I actually still randomly smell it in my nose sometimes, and many things remind me of it. Despite that, I don't feel like a slave to it anymore. Changed my mind and realized I couldn't see there are way better things in life than heroin, and conveniently enough, I experienced one of them very recently. Now I see clearly.

I will be starting therapy soon and i've been very introspective lately i'm realizing things and making new links on my own. For the first time ever i feel like i finally might be on my way out of this hell. A large part of it depends on treating the disorder and not the symptom (addiction). As long as I don't strive to fill the void inside me with something healthy, worthwhile and personally fulfilling, I will keep going back to the old harmful coping mechanisms. My aim from therapy is to find out what exactly I suffer from and finally get diagnosed by a professional. I should then start getting CBT and properly prescribed medication instead of me trying random anti-depressants on myself. My journey to recovery is mine only, it's almost like I customized it for me. 

I also just started with opioid substitute therapy (buprenorphine) which for those who don't know is an opioid used to treat addiction. Opposite to heroin, it doesn't hurt your body, works for 12 hours, you can't overdose on it, and most importantly it stops withdrawal and reduces cravings. It's also anti abuse, as using other opioids while on it triggers withdrawal instantly. I can't find the words to describe how bad a heroin withdrawal is, but it is now out of my life and after this I will be tapered off buprenorphine and living a relatively drug free life, after having gone through my mental issues.

Anyways I feel like i'm rambling at this point. What I wanted to emphasize: There's something that works for every person, abstinence and total sobriety don't necessarily mean you're cured or you're better, as was the case with Demi. Being sober but still using alcohol and weed, as long as it's in moderation and doesn't become an issue itself, is fine in my opinion. I mean, i'd gladly take being "california sober" over heroin addiction, drug mixing and compulsive use of pills any day! And honestly, I do enjoy weed, so as long as I learn to control my compulsions and know how my brain works, I don't need to deprive myself of it to live a healthy harmless life. Nothing bad about having some fun when the time is right and without going too crazy, but also recognizing as a recovering addict when you're starting to go too far, either with substances or with certain unhealthy ways of thinking or behaving, because sometimes you can quickly lead yourself into reverting back to old ways, and that is unfortunately a real and daily risk for both totally sober and "california sober" people equally.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Pablo said:

No reason for Lala to bring them into the conversation. She's absolutely allowed to have her opinion on her own sobriety but why drag another person down on their own journey?

I don’t necessarily think theyre dragging Demi down, personally. Sounds like somebody who is saying they take personal offence to what Demi is saying. That is not dragging them down.