Ally Brooke: ''I'm 27 and I'm still a virgin''

[ladygagafan1234 700]

1 hour ago, Delaytica said:

OT: Good for her  but this was literally my first reaction

sad, are you 12?

[FFXIV WhiteMage 5,010]

Hmm good for her I guess?

[Elysium003 125]

Literally me when i turn 27 

[mattbri 1,332]

Same here. But bacause I'm shy and always choosing my career first. 

[GagaSine 7,464]

This makes me feel better about the fact I was a virgin until I was 22 lol 

personally sex is very important to me so I can’t imagine having a long term relationship without there being a sexual aspect, but I guess you can’t miss what you haven’t experienced. I hope she at least knows her own body well and has some sort of sexual knowledge.

[SHALLOW 14,913]

15 hours ago, Glamourpuss said:

I personally think it's an admirable thing and not something to mock and make fun of. 

Is it? I would get it if she never had the chance to do it, but willingly choosing not to just cause of  marriage... 

let’s just say it’s not very 21st century 

[Archduchess 2]

5 hours ago, KanyeWest said:

Asexuals are laughing at you

some asexual people do have sex 

[StrawberryBlond 13,472]

16 hours ago, Franch Toast said:

Another lady here. Sex is wonderful when you're in love with your partner, but it can also be great even if not – you just never know. Myself, I actually prefer it when I care about the person and we have a relationship because better communication and trust equals better sex in my opinion, but everyone is different in this regard. I've had a lot of lackluster sex that honestly has just felt like a chore. In my head, one-night stands sound sexier than they are in reality, especially when you're a woman, because if you're having sex with a man you don't know, there's a safety issue involved. At the same time, I think sex with someone you don't know that well can be a good way to explore things without embarrassment or judgment. It can be extremely liberating. I think the worst is when you have an emotional connection to someone, but the sex is flat-out bad (maybe you're just not compatible), and you feel guilty for breaking it off.

Anyway, don't feel pressure because of your age, and as I wrote in another response, for women, sex only gets better with age. Seriously. As long as you're being careful and safe, do what feels right for you, societal pressure be damned. I will say that no matter who you're with, for a woman with a vagina, don't expect your first time to be rainbows and unicorns, because it probably won't be. (Fifty Shades of Grey is so fake in that way; I scoffed when I read that Anastasia orgasmed the first time she was penetrated. Unlikely. ) But it's not scary either. 

Not sure I can type anymore without earning Warm Franch Toasts. 

That's what I think too - connection and love has to make for a better intimacy. When you know someone inside out, you'll know of every little tick, what turns them on, what they like and dislike, how much is too much. I think not having that with someone I don't know is the main thing that puts me off. Besides the safety aspect, this man won't know what I'm into and how far to take things. I won't know if he truly respects women or what his maturity level is. You won't have to worry about someone you love laughing if something unplanned or embarrassing happens and when it's your first time and you're vulnerable, these things are more likely to happen. And not getting the best treatment from someone when it's your first time can be the opposite of liberating and affect you for life. And the other part is that I still live at home and I'm an only child, hence, heavily sheltered and coddled all my life. My parents will never be the type to let me go out to clubs or be in any situation where I'm alone with lots of men I don't know. My chances of meeting men I'm not related to have been very limited throughout my life as my lifestyle isn't conducive to it and I've never been remotely interested in online dating, plus, I live on the outskirts of a city, so the net won't be cast that wide anyway and dating would involve a lot of travelling and I can't drive.

I've not really understood the getting better with age argument because it's so vague. Which part gets better? What makes it get better? And will it only be like this if you've had sex for years before then and have worked up to it being this good? I never really got it as surely your energy levels lower with age and a man's libido certainly does? It might be a mixture of the woman growing in confidence and the man getting more mature. I've also got very...specific tastes in that department as well. The idea of being with a vanilla guy who's fine to do it in silence with the lights off doesn't really do it for me. It's good to find out through getting to know someone first if they can give you what you want as you'll only be disappointed if you've got no chemistry when you get down to it as you barely knew them. As you were saying, one nighters can be disappointing for a reason.

16 hours ago, Bonkers said:

But I find people who make this "wait for marriage idea" were also pressured into it from parents or religious leaders, just in subtle, manipuluative, subconscious ways.  For example shaming other people, and putting marriage up on a pedestal to the point that it's an object, and not an actual real connection.  I think back to all the warped messaging my sister got when I was I kid.  Daddy wanted her to be a precious little flower with long blonde hair for her future husband.  But that stuff gets into the psyche of children and I really don't think it's a good thing.

My initial plans to stay a virgin until marriage came from reading an article about it (not a religious propaganda piece, just talking about these initiatives in America that encourage it). We weren't a religious household nor was virginity ever mentioned. Keeping me safe was of utmost priority but encouraging me to be a virgin was never a thing. I followed this of my own volition because while religion wasn't forced onto me through home or school, I always believed in God and felt the idea that sex is sacred and God wants it to be contained within marriage was a beautiful thing and I even found it weirdly sexy as well to build yourself up to that moment. Of course, with time I realised that marriage is a man-made institution which wasn't like it is in the Bible and what actually is to be gained from waiting? Reading about what these purity camps are like now, I wonder what I ever saw in it. And for the record, I think the focus should be just as strong on boys as it is on girls to make it fair. But just to let you know that we didn't all believe in this because parents and our religion told us to.

15 hours ago, Dulo Peep said:

Wasnt Britney virgin till like 24 - 25? @Gimme More @Towelney

Her own mother revealed in a book written about her that her first time was at 14 but not everyone's aware of this, assuming it was in her late teens or when she was with Justin. Her experience was not unlike a lot of girls growing up in the south, as sad as it is. Teen pregnancy is an epidemic out there as so many young people are brought up with abstinence only education due to the religious heritage of the area and it makes them super confused when they do inevitably rebel. It was clear she was lying whenever it was brought up in the media, looking back on it. She was always nervous and tried to laugh at it away. It must have made her feel very awkward.

[BillieGOAT 4,913]

I’m doing the same & it’s definitely a hard conversation to have with people, good for her for sticking to her guns! 

[KennyRichie 1,346]

I personally think is none of our business. Not to admire not to make fun. That’s the way it is

[vyniildisk 12,689]

10 hours ago, KanyeWest said:

Inappropriate question

[Wolf Boy 3,000]

People on here: “This is none of your business”

Virgin girl to the ENTIRE internet: “I’m a virgin”

Like......

[BlingNotTheMusic 27,670]

On 10/3/2020 at 8:03 AM, Kromatica said:

sad, are you 12?

Obviously

[Franch Toast 25,435]

23 hours ago, StrawberryBlond said:

 

I've not really understood the getting better with age argument because it's so vague. Which part gets better? What makes it get better? And will it only be like this if you've had sex for years before then and have worked up to it being this good? I never really got it as surely your energy levels lower with age and a man's libido certainly does? It might be a mixture of the woman growing in confidence and the man getting more mature. I've also got very...specific tastes in that department as well. The idea of being with a vanilla guy who's fine to do it in silence with the lights off doesn't really do it for me. It's good to find out through getting to know someone first if they can give you what you want as you'll only be disappointed if you've got no chemistry when you get down to it as you barely knew them. As you were saying, one nighters can be disappointing for a reason.

 

 

Potential factors: 

* I don't know if hormones play a part, and this could vary from person to person, but some studies have suggested that women in their 30s and 40s may have higher sex drives than younger women. Maybe it's not biological but more psychological. 

* Confidence and knowing your body better (even if you haven't had a partner, you may still have done some self-exploration). The confidence doesn't even have to be related to sex but in knowing your own worth, not feeling pressured to do things or that you have to impress the other person, having confidence in your body, knowing what you like, not caring about inhibitions anymore etc. In other words, being more secure in yourself and in tune with what you want.

* Potentially having a partner who's more mature and experienced and better attuned to your needs. The partner could still be younger than you of course, but if you're in your 30s or 40s, you're probably less likely to be dating an 18-year-old. And again, experience doesn't even need to be sexual experience, but just life experience. 

But of course everything varies from person to person! 

 

 

 

[JusKeepBreathin 19,311]

I wish I would have waited. No lie, at least for the right one. I really do admire those who waited or are waiting.