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RuPaul Gets Candid About Open Marriage, Calls Monogamy a 'Hoax'

River

When someone tells me that they’re  not looking at other men while they are in relationship, I just laugh.. like the hottest guy on earth is walking next to you, you will look sis, all your body will look and it doesn’t make you less loyal or a cheater, it makes you human.

My point is, we can be in love with our partner but still be thirst by others and it’s normal, it’s the first step to understand that love and sex are different things.

To be loyal is to be loyal to the decisions and the mutual changes through the relationship, “the contract” that you made with your partner, so if you’re in open relationship and it’s part of the decision, you are as loyal as another person that in a monogamy. 

I'd rather be dead but I guess I'm alive ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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FlopSlurper
23 minutes ago, JevyDuty said:

Your opinion got canceled there. Clearly you're judging what you do not know. As if people in open relationship don't have loyalty and love. I mean, it's a mutual agreement. :oops:

(You clearly wanted to be as controversial as Ru here)

What loyalty exactly when you're out there ****ing others 💀And what love are you talking about when you can't love your partner enough not to want to go **** others. Me defending monogamy isn't controversial, because it's the norm whether you like it or not.

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SHALLOW
5 hours ago, Lumi said:

I guess asexual people are also a hoax. I don't think he means wrong here, but invalidating other people's relationship because it's not like yours isn't a bit intolerant? Now I haven't seen the video or know the way he said it but based on what's on the OP this is Ru being closed-minded once again.

Hi, no. I’m not a hoax and i agree with Ru. :ohwell:

Don't you know my a$$ is famous?

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SHALLOW

This totally makes sense to me as i tend to divide emotional relationships from sexual ones. Not that i really had any of those, but rarely i like people and i either would only want to do something “sexual” or just to be cute with each other. :oops: still, i can’t be 100% sure about this but that’s how i feel, plus i’m gay-asexual so there are very few things that arouse me and i usually don’t find those things in guys i only like in a romantic way.

So i never thought about this but poligamy could also be the answer to my problems :huntyga:

Edited by SHALLOW
Don't you know my a$$ is famous?
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Guillaume Hamon

Honestly I wouldn't say monogamy is a "hoax" since some couples live it very well and are happy like that. It's rather against our instincts I believe... But we all can tame these instincts if we want to. :trollga:

From what I seen, couples who are together since a long or very long time often don't have sexual passion since a while... They stay together and don't go sleep around therefore kinda renounce to have fun sexually. :ohwell:

Long time "closed" monogamous relations can be great sexually for some people but often, at some point, it becomes a sacrifice as a proof of love for one or both in the couple. :crossed:

Edited by Guillaume Hamon

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littlepotter
3 hours ago, FlopSlurper said:

What loyalty exactly when you're out there ****ing others 💀And what love are you talking about when you can't love your partner enough not to want to go **** others. Me defending monogamy isn't controversial, because it's the norm whether you like it or not.

What exactly makes you think your notion that sex=love has to be universal? Like it just baffles me how some people can hold progressive views on some things but refuse to consider a different way of viewing other things. Do you also condemn people who do hookups? If not, there's something wrong with your logic. If you can have one night stands with people, and not fall in love with them, it means sex can exist independent of love. So if I'm in love with someone, and I want to try out having sex with a different person for a different sexual experience with their consent, how does that particular type of sex negate my love for the person? Why does love have to be purely on a physical level? It could be, but why would you apply this universally and refuse and degrade any couple trying to challenge this view? Obviously if monogamy were as ideal as you say it is, divorce and infidelity would be much less common, yet... :oprah:

can you hear me come undone?
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Miracle
9 hours ago, darkpaw said:

I believe that people CAN be monogamous. Him calling it a hoax is just absurd and it’s unfortunate because a lot of people actually believe that homosexuals, men in particular can’t settle down with one just partner and are just too sexual. But I can see why he’d opt for an open marriage, I mean he’s rich but he’s not cute at aaaaaalllll sis.

Ru's persona transcends beauty and probably any gay would destroy this 60 years old guy without a doubt. 

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FlopSlurper
19 minutes ago, littlepotter said:

Like it just baffles me how some people can hold progressive views on some things but refuse to consider a different way of viewing other things

Except monogamy is progressive, just like people used to go around ****ing family members and being naked, they had no concept of a relationship. We progressed to not practice incest, to wear clothes and to commit to relationships.

18 minutes ago, littlepotter said:

Do you also condemn people who do hookups? If not, there's something wrong with your logic.

 

I don't support hookups, even though this has 0 correlation with someone being in a relationship and going around ****ing others. Amongst other things, a relationship is commitment, you going around ****ing whoever takes away the commitment aspect of it.

24 minutes ago, littlepotter said:

 but why would you apply this universally and refuse and degrade any couple trying to challenge this view? 

I couldn't care less what people do with their partners, but for Ru and anyone for that matter to go around spouting **** that monogamy is fake or whatever, then of course I'm gonna call her out on her bs. Just because she doesn't follow it, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. This is like a straight person saying a person can never be gay, just because they don't understand it, and vice versa. 

29 minutes ago, littlepotter said:

divorce and infidelity would be much less common, yet... :oprah:

There's nothing wrong with divorce/breakups, better than being stuck in a failed relationship. The "infidelity" part is funny, because how is ****ing someone while you're with someone else any different than cheating, except for letting your partner know in advance. Like hey do you agree to be in an open relationship with me so we can both cheat freely. 

highresrollsafe.jpg

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JevyDuty
3 hours ago, FlopSlurper said:

What loyalty exactly when you're out there ****ing others 💀And what love are you talking about when you can't love your partner enough not to want to go **** others. Me defending monogamy isn't controversial, because it's the norm whether you like it or not.

I understand if it's not for you but the way you are relating love to sex and loyalty to sex is controversial. A mutually agreed upon situation between two adults is not loyal why? Make it make sense.

And the fact that you attack so strongly tells me you know what you want for yourself but it also tells me you're judgmental and don't know how to compartmentalize and more importantly, you don't know how to mind your own business :oops:

And I won't respond any further because the topic is non of our business beyond stating your own preference. 

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FlopSlurper
2 minutes ago, JevyDuty said:

I understand if it's not for you but the way you are relating love to sex and loyalty to sex is controversial. A mutually agreed upon situation between two adults is not loyal why? Make it make sense.

And the fact that you attack so strongly tells me you know what you want for yourself but it also tells me you're judgmental and don't know how to compartmentalize and more importantly, you don't know how to mind your own business :oops:

And I won't respond any further because the topic is non of our business beyond stating your own preference. 

maybe if ru minded her own business in the first place? :air: 

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Ziggy

I just...why do people feel the need to put these blanket statements on things? It's a hoax or it doesn't work for your relationship, RuPaul? It's just one of those things where I find myself rolling my eyes.

I would say hoax is *definitely* not the right word to use here, but rather a statement should be made to say that monogamy is something that's been pushed for decades and while it might work for some, it doesn't work for others. Simple as that. It's not as snappy, sure, but it's more accurate at the very least. Every relationship has to figure out the terms that work for it the same way you figure out anything else like who does what chores and how y'all communicate.

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JevyDuty

Generalizations will always kill me. I can't stand them:bradley:

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notconfident
37 minutes ago, FlopSlurper said:

Except monogamy is progressive, just like people used to go around ****ing family members and being naked, they had no concept of a relationship. We progressed to not practice incest, to wear clothes and to commit to relationships.

 

I don't support hookups, even though this has 0 correlation with someone being in a relationship and going around ****ing others. Amongst other things, a relationship is commitment, you going around ****ing whoever takes away the commitment aspect of it.

I couldn't care less what people do with their partners, but for Ru and anyone for that matter to go around spouting **** that monogamy is fake or whatever, then of course I'm gonna call her out on her bs. Just because she doesn't follow it, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. This is like a straight person saying a person can never be gay, just because they don't understand it, and vice versa. 

There's nothing wrong with divorce/breakups, better than being stuck in a failed relationship. The "infidelity" part is funny, because how is ****ing someone while you're with someone else any different than cheating, except for letting your partner know in advance. Like hey do you agree to be in an open relationship with me so we can both cheat freely. 

highresrollsafe.jpg

I have to tell you that you make the best points out here, I'm glad that I can see people in this community thinking the way you think. 

Unfortunately, personally I've seen many people in this community bashing monogamous relationships, I've even talked to a couple that's been in a 30 year open relationship saying that gay relationships will never work out unless they're open. That conversation alone made me feel depressed and disappointed as I'm someone who's all about monggamy, not an open relationship kind of person and definitely not into hookups. Ru can say it's a hoax and all but the only thing keeping me from not entirely hating the gay community is the belief that I'm not  the only one believing in fairytales like "finding the one and sticking with them for life". I believe if you don't feel enough sexually satisfied with a person in a relationship, you just shouldn't stay with them, simple as that. Also, with time that mutual sexual drive might fade away, but I believe sex is far from the most important thing in relationships. 

 

I'm just... ugh, disappointed enough, and to hear this from someone who I look up to, hurts a lot. 

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Lumi
4 hours ago, SHALLOW said:

Hi, no. I’m not a hoax and i agree with Ru. :ohwell:

I am sorry, I meant asexual peoplw in the context of poly relationships were it's just sex. I didn't take into account romantic-poly relationships. I was trying to counterargument the idea that "monogamy is impossible because we need to have sex with e/o" that some people seem to insist on.

underneath the pine

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KanyeWest

Do whatever u want but to me it's weird to go have sex with someone ur not in love with and do that every once in a while then go back to ur husband and be like hey I love you. You obviously don't wanna be with ur supposed 'love' all the time, and u don't wanna touch them etc, u gotta ask yourself if u really love them in the end to have the need to go out there into the world and have sex.

Also it's really not safe in terms of diseases etc... but do YOU boo! Im not condoning it, I just don't understand that lifestyle

Kanye West Is Blonde And Gone
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