Shawn Mendes on being called gay

[PartySick 134,471]

2 hours ago, MJHolland said:

 

if you don't want to live a scrutinized life, then fame is not for you. this debate extends wayyy farther than just sexuality. 

listen, the online harassment of Shawn NEEDS to stop. I am all about respecting him and I will call people out for continuing to badger him about his sexuality because it is inappropriate.

BUT... c'mon dudes! it is SO HOMOPHOBIC to tell the world that you have nightmares about being perceived as gay! I don't care how you spin it! if you claim to be an ally, you wouldn't think that being thought of as gay is a bad thing. 

@PartySick I understand that it might makes you uncomfortable in the moment when someone assumes you are straight, but you would be a liar if you actually sat there and told me that being perceived as straight keeps you up at night/gives you nightmares/terrors/cold sweats.  

Shawn will never be able to control what people say about him, so he better get used to it or step out of the spotlight QUICK. 

I mean, you have a valid point too

To be fair, he did say those feelings come from a part of him that he hates so I won't disagree that it's homophobic in a way. I just hope he learns to move past it 'cause the gays will always be thirsty and celebrity news/rumors will always be tragic

[Bradley 54,989]

“Even though in my heart I know that it’s not a bad thing,” he said. “There’s still a piece of me that thinks that. And I hate that side of me.”

I love Shawn but he probably shouldn't have said that.

[Helxig 39,581]

I really feel for this guy. Does everyone realise that this is actually a problem?

He's just such a genuinely nice guy, and if he weren't so open minded, these kind of rumours would make him 'butch up' and stop being nice. Could even turn him homophobic in order to counter the rumours.

We need to stop equating femininity and kindness with being 'less of  a man' or with being gay and taunting straight men. Let them live. Let them be kind and soft and still straight. 

God knows we need more straight men who are comfortable in themselves.

[Helxig 39,581]

16 minutes ago, Kitsch said:

“Even though in my heart I know that it’s not a bad thing,” he said. “There’s still a piece of me that thinks that. And I hate that side of me.”

I love Shawn but he probably shouldn't have said that.

He's just being honest about his situation and I'm sure a lot of people can relate. I still catch myself sometimes disapproving of/evading my own feminine/gay tendencies and realise whoa, this is a problem, I have to work on this. It's a good thing that he's admitting he doesn't like that and is working on it. We all know he's open minded in these ways. He spent the night at the last Met Gala hanging out with very-gay Troye Sivan.

[Bradley 54,989]

5 minutes ago, Helxig said:

He's just being honest about his situation and I'm sure a lot of people can relate. I still catch myself sometimes disapproving of/evading my own feminine/gay tendencies and realise whoa, this is a problem, I have to work on this. It's a good thing that he's admitting he doesn't like that and is working on it. We all know he's open minded in these ways. He spent the night at the last Met Gala hanging out with very-gay Troye Sivan.

I don't think there is anything wrong with avoiding feminine tendencies, if that's what you want. You have the right to develop whatever personalities and characteristics of yourselves so long as it does not harm other people.

But what you were doing is different from Shawn's belief, that is that being gay has some kind of negative connotation to it. It's cool that he recognises his need to change though.

[Helxig 39,581]

2 minutes ago, Kitsch said:

I don't think there is anything wrong with avoiding feminine tendencies, if that's what you want. You have the right to develop whatever personalities and characteristics of yourselves so long as it does not harm other people.

But what you were doing is different from Shawn's belief, that is that being gay has some kind of negative connotation to it. It's cool that he recognises his need to change though.

It's actually just something which is programmed really deep into our subconscious by society from a young age. I know that it's a common thing for that brainwashing to still pop up sometimes even in the most open minded people. That's why he said he hates it. Because it's something that's programmed into him that he doesn't like. I consider myself very open minded but still sometimes I feel a certain way and instantly catch it and think "that's so ****ed up. Why do I feel this way? I need to not feel this way". It's automatic  

But you're right, it will probably be taken the wrong way. I hope he doesn't have a big storm coming, 'cause he's actually trying his best.

[RadioIsOurs 13,691]

If only he knew that the only ones calling him gay are irrelevant thirsty twinks on stan twitter...

[Guillaume Hamon 5,563]

17 hours ago, MJHolland said:

What Shawn should really ask himself, though, is why people's speculation about his sexuality impacts his life?

I think that it's what he's doing here.

To fix the problem you have to acknowledge its existence, what he's doing, then see where it comes from and since he says he "hate" this automatic reaction of his, I guess he figured out it just homophobia pushed on him and he despise that.

Next step for him would, as you say, be him not fearing what folks think he is and is apparently trying to reach that.

I find him very sincere and discussing it will help folks feeling the same to overcome this homophobia from society imo.

EDIT:  The "if he was straight he wouldn't be so bothered with being called gay" is wrong. So many people still make it shameful to seen as gay so you find straight males terrified of being considered gay. It's sadly a real thing y'all.

[Lucas 20,638]

Do you remember when other kids called you gay when you were in the closet like 100 times a week and you kept saying no but they kept saying you are ? Imagine it happening with thousands of people online at his age while he's actually straight, must be so annoying 

[Guillaume Hamon 5,563]

18 hours ago, Miracle said:

I don't feel bad about him being scarerd of being called feminine or gay. I'm sorry. That's white straight men bullshit.

Why do you make it a "white" thing when it obviously exist among every races?

You're the type of person trying so hard to denounce things that it ends up creating more problem. Race-baiting in a convo that have nothing to do with race is not helping anyone for sure.

[Cody James 1,375]

7 hours ago, Mister Money said:

well if I joke to my best friend that she is a lesbian (shes not) it bothers her so i guess it does bother people.

and shes not homophobic

Plus being labeled a majority is easier to accept than a minority.

[MJHolland 12,723]

 

57 minutes ago, Guillaume Hamon said:

I think that it's what he's doing here.

To fix the problem you have to acknowledge its existence, what he's doing, then see where it comes from and since he says he "hate" this automatic reaction of his, I guess he figured out it just homophobia pushed on him and he despise that.

Next step for him would, as you say, be him not fearing what folks think he is and is apparently trying to reach that.

I find him very sincere and discussing it will help folks feeling the same to overcome this homophobia from society imo.

EDIT:  The "if he was straight he wouldn't be so bothered with being called gay" is wrong. So many people still make it shameful to seen as gay so you find straight males terrified of being considered gay. It's sadly a real thing y'all.

4

ok, fair, i agree with everything that you said here. i definitely still do not think this was smart of Shawn if these rumors really do eat at him; this story is SURE to make things worse. 

i still very much disagree with this last part. as a white gay man, getting mistaken as a racial minority used to upset me because i didn't want to face the prejudice that (gay) men of color face, but then i grew up and realized that being a different race is not a bad thing

saying that being thought of as gay gives you nightmares is still HELLA HOMOPHOBIC 

[Admin 24,441]

8 minutes ago, MJHolland said:

saying that being thought of as gay gives you nightmares is still HELLA HOMOPHOBIC 

It's not. He can't control what gives him nightmares. He even said he hates it.

[Gov Hooka 8,008]

36 minutes ago, Admin said:

It's not. He can't control what gives him nightmares. He even said he hates it.

it's the result of internalized homophobia though he might not be directly homophobic. Those feelings are not unique to him and every gay man faces the same thoughts, doubts, and insecurities to varying degrees. In fact all straight and gay men have a negative bias towards LGBT people (to varying degrees) because of the socialization of homophobia, similar to implicit racial bias. 

[Oriane 18,987]

GGD : Ugh he complains that everyone calls him gay although he's straight, that's internalized homophobia

Also GGD : Look at the way he speaks and moves, he MUST be gay !