How has Gaga helped you with your identity?

[NotMyFlop 1,979]

Warning: Semi-Long post ahead. I never put this into words before and knew GagaDaily would understand better than most of my peers/family. 

^ Question above. 

In 2008-2012, Gaga's peak coincidentally, I was heavily bullied for a sexuality I didn't know existed quite yet. People physically, verbally and mentally bullied me for my effeminate personality and 'homosexual tendencies'. In retrospect, I probably subconsciously knew I was gay (I was a bit too obsessed with Toby Macguire ), but I forced it out of my mind. Additionally, I was uniquely dark for my age. Even prior to 2008, dating back as early as second grade, I always explored violence, death and other 'dark' topics when it came to my personal creativity. Lastly, I was one for the theatrics. I loved being the center of attention, loved singing/dancing and other 'feminine' things (especially in a private school). It was quite difficult to be my authentic self and I often felt ostracized by my community at large; which then led me to seclude myself from them and 'lose' parts of my identity and personality. 

So, in 2009, when Gaga emerged she was almost exactly who I felt I was as a person. Seeing someone with the taste of the bizarre and eccentric, a taste for the dark and a weirdo being the forefront of pop-culture WHILE subsequently getting bullied by the media for various reasons and overcoming it with such class, dignity, and bravery left a significant impact on my 12-year-old soul. As her songs became more overtly gay-positive and her career took a more queer direction, I STILL didn't piece together my identity; but I began to explore it on a different level. 

I began to do comedy sketches in which I was a whole host of characters. They varied in personalities, but the most distinct one was a very effeminate, bizarre and overtly gay man. In retrospect, it was probably VERY problematic because it was the stereotype of gay men (see as: internalized homophobia), but it was the first time I felt comfortable with myself to explore such an identity/character. However, I reflected a lot of who Gaga was and stood up for because at that age, she was my identity. She exuded EXACTLY what I wanted to be, and I knew nothing more or other people who did that. 

In a lot of ways, it was almost like Gaga was making the EXACT music I needed at the time. As I matured and finished the Born This Way era and ARTPOP era, I became more aware of my sexuality but was almost able to exist in duality with myself; as though the queer side of me was a separate character; similar to how Gaga mentioned it being a character and the costumes/persona was a way to make herself feel comfortable. 

The Cheek to Cheek era, and -some- of the ARTPOP era I was away from being a stan. While at the time it was because it was 'gay' to like her, it was ultimately the break I needed. I hadn't established an identity outside of Gaga or that wasn't largely influenced by what she was doing. I still checked in, watched some interviews and performances, but I wasn't immersed in her life anymore. To this day, I still have ignored a large portion of the C2C era and some of the ARTPOP era. Within those few years, I was able to hold on to the nostalgia and comfort of her older material as I navigated having REAL crushed on boys, dealing with homophobia and overcoming the deep-rooted fear in myself of who I was. Gaga was my comfort zone, but NOT my influencer as she previously was. 

In 2015, when she announced her role on American Horror Story, I was almost completely reimmersed in being a stan (and have been since ). I loved her exploring an even darker side on my favorite TV show and I loved her rebuilding to a completely new version of her famous-self. Looking back at it, I was about at the same point with my sexuality. Before she announced her role, I just began to come out and start to build myself into the version I wanted to be. I didn't need Gaga anymore to help shape my identity, I had a clearer view of who I was/what I wanted to be and she just simply became someone who inspired me, made great music and someone who had helped form me into who I was today. 

In the end, it's been a healthier stanmanship (?) with her than what it was previously. I still love her to death, follow her adamantly and embrace everything she puts her heart too, but I don't base my life around her and have been able to find a more appropriate balance within my life (and publicly talk about how much I love her). Joanne, her most mature pop album to date, was released since being in college and her tackling more personal issues is something I needed at the time. Perfect Illusion came out RIGHT as I realized the first person I thought I loved was a mess and I didn't need them. 

In conclusion, I am VERY excited for what comes next. I believe whatever she does will still (to some degree) be a reflection of what I am going through or what I need in the moment. However, I know I have a healthier and separate relationship with/without her now and it's made my love for her even deeper. 

I am in a sentimental mood tonight and want to know how Gaga has helped you all with your identities! Whether it be gender, sexuality, race, etc. 

[Tyler1992 2,265]

A lot of what you say I feel the same way about! 

When Gaga came out in 2008 I was in the eighth grade, and a lot of her career I can pinpoint to where I was in my own life. With the release of Joanne it was around the same time I began to come out and feel comfortable with my sexuality and myself. Joanne is her personal healing album, and it’s interesting how I was healing at the same time too. 

I sometimes wonder if I subconsciously relate how Gagas feeling to how I’m feeling at the time. Taking a step back and looking at the last 10 years, it makes me realize how great her impact is on my own self. She seems like such a good person and so well meaning that I’m glad she’s the one I connect with, not someone toxic and bad. 

[Guest]

Just Dance made me feel alive

Poker Face helped me to understand who I was

Paparazzi made me a fan

Bad Romance sparked my creativity

Born This Way gave me pride

Marry The Night saved my life

Applause made me celebrate my creativity

The Countess helped me mourn all that I thought I couldn't live without

Perfect Illusion helped me to move on

Million Reasons healed me

Diamond Heart helped me to keep working hard

A Star Is Born will help me to believe in myself again (I just know it 

[Twitter 14]

Gaga and her music helped me through a depression of a bad break up. Her music also influenced me to have a more bold personality as well as loving myself and flaws. 

As a straight male she has also helped me not to have homophobia and believe in equality. 

[TheSlash 14,539]

I always had problems with my sexuality , but not bc I got bullied for it, the reason was myself. I noticed pretty early (when I was 8 or 9) that I had "crushes" on both boys and girls (which I interpreted as a "strong friendship" when I was still that young).

With getting older my problem was that I couldn't wrap my head around me being not heterosexual once I understood what a "crush" really is. And then came Gaga. But it wasn't until DITD , when I realized that I may not be the only one with those problems.

And thus started my realization that it is not bad at all to be different. It was a very slow process. I came to peace with myself just about 2 years ago and now I'm a proud bisexual young man  

[ZiggyZiggs 30,062]

this b*tch made me, truly 

[Amidana 4,267]

1 minute ago, ZiggyZiggs said:

this b*tch made me, truly 

She gave birth to me too 

 

When I first discovered Gaga back in the middle of 10th grade, I was outed by a very close friend of mine. As soon as my real friends.mp3 told me people asked them about me being gay instead of directly asking me, I came out on Facebook coincidentally on the Born This Way album's 65th birthday so people can stop bothering my friends about it. Gaga's music helped me face the bullying I've faced, homophobia from people, and a break up throughout 2017 to today. Safe to say I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Gaga's music and her influence in inspiring me to become a better person and to love life. 

[MEM 3,114]

OP, what a lovely post you’ve written. I hope one day I’ll be able to tell my story as eloquently and with the certainty you have.

What I will say though is that Gaga has always made me question my identity and to this day is helping me figure it out. I love how you’ve been able to separate her from your real life and that’s something I’m still working on. She is very much influential on the things I do and especially how I think about myself and I know that too much of that is not healthy.

One of the key Gaga moments that changed me was the 2011 VMAs, when she came out as Jo Calderone. I was 17 that year. Seeing her in concert the year before, I already thought she was the most beautiful & talented artist I’d ever stanned but that VMA monologue changed the game. So of course, the Yoü and I era was a huge turning point in my life. I was attracted to her as Jo, as the Nymph, the mermaid and all the other characters. I really just loved every part of her. She showed me that sexuality doesn’t always have to be defined. I will forever be grateful to her for changing my life in that way 

[SLAG 7]

She hasn’t sorrynotsorry.mp3

I always knew I was a bad bitch. Now I’m a bad bitch that stans another bad bitch.

[River 117,590]

honestly..... Gaga came too late to make any impact to my life.. I'm really a fan because of the music.. she didn't help me or something..

[MEM 3,114]

@NotMyFlop Did you just LMAO at my serious post? okay then 

[Pamelaisley 933]

I was 8 (turning 9) years old when Just Dance came out. Because I was bullied at school, I would often bully my friends at home. Most of the adults I knew were conservatives so there would be homophobic and racist slurs said around me so I started saying them too (never to someone's face tho) and thinking that way. I watched one of Adam Lambert's videos to make fun of him but it backfired because I ended up loving the song and thinking he was really hot.  He and Gaga brought the LGBT community to my eyes and I realized I was wrong. I can't take back the things that I said, but I did grow and learn from my mistakes.

In 2012, I came to the conclusion that I was bisexual because Lady Gaga is f*cking HOT. I recently came out to my gay friend because he was saying that "gay people can't lie. We'll show it. We'll get wrinkles." So I said, "What about bi people?" And he asked, "Why?" I looked at him like this  
It felt good.

I will forever thank Gaga for making me a better and loving person.