Haroon 49,685 Posted April 13, 2018 Share Posted April 13, 2018 Grindr's what you make it in my opinion, people get hook ups or dates or friends or casual conversation or other stuff on there. I don't think Grindr itself causes mental health issues, I think depending on how you react to certain situations it makes the difference because it's the vehicle. The biggest thing to reel in when it comes to Grindr is expectations. It's not an app that solves homosexual hunger, whether that be lust or love or so on. As with any type of dating you're going to be coming across many different types of people and because of that you may have to dig to find the diamonds in the rough The thing about people feeling isolated and depressed after a hook up or sending explicit pictures or etc, the same would be happening however someone met another, whether that's at a bar or a social club event or other apps or any dating website. It's just because everything's so easily available at your fingertips with Grindr it'll happen quicker so the frequency and quickness is what makes the biggest difference in my opinion But then I don't think that's Grindr's fault either, I think it comes down to policing your own use of what you're using and regularly taking steps back to assess your own emotions and whether your time on the app has more benefits or risks, and if it's worth the risks Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adakam 2 Posted April 14, 2018 Share Posted April 14, 2018 On 4/10/2018 at 3:57 PM, ExMachina said: Exactly. Especially that, say, you're looking for a long-term partner, maybe for life - you don't try your luck in a club or on Grindr, but then you don't have many options left. LGBT people have it very difficult in that matter. Thats what I was thinking, unless the person you wanna hit on is covered in rainbows, its very hard as a gay man to meet someone in random places, and in some areas, dangerous. Compared to straight guys who can hit on girls pretty much anywhere. Some people do take it too far and you have to be smart about who you meet up with, but overall, grindr is a safe place for us Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benji 20,113 Posted April 14, 2018 Share Posted April 14, 2018 Apart from the danger of meeting strangers, I put it in the same group as all social networks, it can become dangerous to your mental health if you are already struggling and begin using it as a crutch. I use Grindr now and again, I’ll get my fill and delete my profile until I feel an urge to get laid using it again. I enter it knowing what I want, I get it and leave. I don’t think we should ignore the GOOD it can do though. Some gay men live in quieter areas and rarely come across other gay men so it’s good for them to talk to other gay men that are closer to them than others on the internet. I know some men that have described themselves as sort of “the only gay in the village” that have made friends through Grindr. It’s not all bad. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dlioncourt91 765 Posted April 14, 2018 Share Posted April 14, 2018 The times I've downloaded it a couple years ago, it was literally just catfishing, drama, sex, some "bug chasing" from what I saw on some people's profiles and a lot of rude people. Sure, you know what to expect when you sign up for it but it also encourages people to make spam profiles and attack people they don't like among other things. However, it does depend on how you use it as Haroon said. I've made good friends (platonically) who were depressed over a breakup and used it as a source to find someone to hear them out. Friendships can develop on there and casual play as well depending on whom you come across. After a while, I deleted it because poor grammar and one word messages bore me stiff (no pun intended) It can be damaging to guys who don't want to feel the brunt of rejection and go on there needing or wanting validation only to be turned down or insulted because of their body, personality, looks, size. But it is what is unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 17, 2018 Share Posted April 17, 2018 I didn't read the entire article, but I got the jest of it. I don't think hook up apps are necessarily a bad thing. I feel like it's basically like walking into a club and meeting someone there and going home with them. It's essentially the same thing, just the virtual form. Grindr has always been a hot mess, and that's why it isn't on my phone. Like others have stated, I think it's not so much the app itself, but the people using it. You know if you're going on there for validation, suffer already from depression or other mental health issues, Grindr isn't going to make any of those things easier to deal with. I don't think Grindr should be held personally responsible. The people who use it make the app, not the other way around. I don't think Grindr is all bad. I've had a few really great connections and relationships in college thanks to that app, (when I was in a smaller town where there wasn't a ton of LGBTQ events etc. places to meet if you're not 21+.) But, those connections are very few and far between. I think it's important to understand that people can be cruel, mean, and just plain rude on any dating app, so if rejection is a hard thing for you, or you're struggling with other personal issues, it might not be the best place to be on. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HausOfMoana 829 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 On 4/11/2018 at 12:16 AM, DutchHooker said: Right now I'm still in the closet, living the happy heterosexual life, I don't want to come out, because of multiple reasons, but that's a story I safe for later.. 2 Says the gay gaga stan. Jk love you lol. On 4/13/2018 at 10:57 AM, Haroon said: Grindr's what you make it in my opinion, people get hook ups or dates or friends or casual conversation or other stuff on there. I don't think Grindr itself causes mental health issues, I think depending on how you react to certain situations it makes the difference because it's the vehicle. The biggest thing to reel in when it comes to Grindr is expectations. It's not an app that solves homosexual hunger, whether that be lust or love or so on. As with any type of dating you're going to be coming across many different types of people and because of that you may have to dig to find the diamonds in the rough The thing about people feeling isolated and depressed after a hook up or sending explicit pictures or etc, the same would be happening however someone met another, whether that's at a bar or a social club event or other apps or any dating website. It's just because everything's so easily available at your fingertips with Grindr it'll happen quicker so the frequency and quickness is what makes the biggest difference in my opinion But then I don't think that's Grindr's fault either, I think it comes down to policing your own use of what you're using and regularly taking steps back to assess your own emotions and whether your time on the app has more benefits or risks, and if it's worth the risks We all stan a woke queen. I totally agree with you. Replying to the people who said it was racism and not a preference I totally disagree with you. Everyone has their preferences with Age, race, body type and so on. Everyone is different so everyone is looking for different types of people they want to hook up with. If the guy you are really attracted to does not respond, then move on. I'm really attracted to nick Jonas, has he replied? NO same with Colton Haynes, he never replied. I moved on and I stopped caring. You also have to realize that online dating is all superficial because people cant see or read your personality. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewYorkCity 10,536 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 to some people, really bad. And I have had to deal with them too much. It is adictive and some men find it very hard to stop using it, even when in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quartz 12,762 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 On 4/11/2018 at 6:33 PM, Helxig said: As much as I'd like to add some excitement to my life, I can't bring myself to download Grindr because I know that all the rejection and image-related judgement wouldn't be good for me... I don't know much about Grindr, but what I do know is that it's super judgemental. I don't want something where people make a split second decision about my attractiveness, and which way to swipe But at the same time, I don't know how the f.uck I'll every find a boyfriend without it so... who knows You can try OKCupid! I met awesome people there and isn't even remotely close to the sleaziness of other apps. Bios are everything, honestly, give it a try Inside, we are really made the same. 🕊 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
imnotyourbabe10 6,120 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Grindr, Scruff, A4A, BoyAhoy (you name the campy, male named app) (Insert "you name it.gif") is why the gay male community cannot have nice things. I identify as a gay/queer/hippie dude so that in itself doesn't conform enough for the gheys. Our culture claims to be so inclusive but is incredibly divisive -- especially long binary lines. I understand why we fought to be included in the mainstream but it did us some damage that we have to repair to include trans, queer, intersex, etc. folks. We also need to get a grip on how we view race (a friend of mine did a study on Grindr--he is Asian and posted on Grindr sitting in a Starbucks--man, what he encountered was ugly--stereotypes runneth over). Also see how pørn classifies race and trans people. Ugh. Culture, in general, is way too reliant on technology as it has become a part of our mind/body in that we use it to connect to people (without really connecting--we are missing super important verbal and non-verbal cues) and it is constantly an appendage (in our hand) [that's poorly worded for us dirty minded folks, I know]. And it's all addictive as this cult site. For example, psychological research demonstrates that a bit of dopamine (that feel good chemical) goes off every time we see a notification on social media. So we keep going back for more of that good feel. But, in a world with a variety of culture where gay people are still often ostracized, it makes sense that we would resort to a somewhat private, exclusive platform to meet one another. Ugh, I just don't know what to say on such a loaded topic. It just all seems so toxic for one's mental health. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
imnotyourbabe10 6,120 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 On 4/11/2018 at 4:54 AM, Anveeroy said: Every day I receive numerous hate messages about my long hair. Fellow GGD Monster you are, sadly, not alone. I had long hair for a couple of years and I also received messages that told me to cut it ("you would look better--I'm not trying to be rude") or was objectified, sexualized or categorized as feminine for having longer hair. And they hadn't even met me yet! We miss other cues that encapsulate one's personality (verbal/non-verbal) over social media. As opposed to judging a book by its cover. (I think you've had a self-photo up before and your hair is glorious! Just remember that famous track about living as free as your hair on BTW ). Thanks for sharing your encounter with that part of dating apps. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 375 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 Grindr is a pretty toxic app. I find myself needing a break every now and then. It's way too easy to be an asshole! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DutchHooker 8,600 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 3 hours ago, Yemeni Feed said: Says the gay gaga stan. Jk love you lol. Omg queen, it's you... I'm 'unwoke'.. and a so called 'racist'.. I love you! We need DarkGa with Bops so we can rule the industry again and learn the other popgirls how to snatch 'em wigs to ultimate baldness!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HausOfMoana 829 Posted April 18, 2018 Share Posted April 18, 2018 6 minutes ago, DutchHooker said: Omg queen, it's you... I'm 'unwoke'.. and a so called 'racist'.. I love you! Yeasss, Its always me. Weather in the back allies, or publicly always YemeniFeed Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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