This GQ Profile of Cardi B is Amazing

[Retron 2,605]

""I love…," begins Cardi B—and then hangs in silent pause. She does this a lot: stops like a cliff diver savoring the charged seconds before a jump. Her speech is hyper-fast but full of built-in extra time for you to catch up. For her to ensure you're paying attention.

[...]

In big black letters, her sweatshirt says: ᴅᴇsɪɢɴᴇʀ ᴘᴜssʏ. Cardi finishes her sentence.

"…Franklin Delano Roosevelt." She nods, agreeing with herself. "Yes."

[...]

Cardi unleashes her recollections of FDR's life and accomplishments in a passionate torrent that assumes no prior knowledge on the part of the listener and follows no time line. She knows which president succeeded Roosevelt (his vice president, Truman) and which preceded him (Hoover). She gives a brief overview of the 22nd Amendment. She used to be able to list all the U.S. presidents in order of term but is too nervous to try it in front of me. As a compromise, she invites me to name any president.

Buchanan.

"He was the 15th president," she says, and her tone is as neutral as if she were reciting types of weather. "Buchanan is the only president that was a bachelor."

[...]

"I think that's Taylor Swift," she says. "No, no!" she pleads when I whip my head around. "I don't think that was her," she adds, trying to un-alert me. "I don't think that was her."

Cardi's publicist, Patience, dining—by Cardi's request—at a nearby table, in her line of sight, catches her look of distress and rushes over.

"Is that Taylor Swift?" Cardi asks in a nervous whisper. "Is that Taylor Swift?"

Patience offers to check.

Have you ever met her?

"I never…," begins Cardi. She is too preoccupied to finish the sentence, following Patience around the room with her eyes.

Patience returns. "Not her."

Cardi visibly relaxes at this update, like she has narrowly escaped being hit by a bus. (N.B.: It is completely unclear from Cardi's reaction whether she likes or dislikes Taylor Swift.) (Also N.B.: Later, when I pass the table of the Rumored Taylor, I realize Cardi may have been looking at Karlie Kloss.)"

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Read the rest here:

https://www.gq.com/story/cardi-b-invasion-of-privacy-profile

[Tom Nook 37,807]

 

10 minutes ago, Retron said:

Cardi visibly relaxes at this update, like she has narrowly escaped being hit by a bus. 

Well we can’t all be lucky  

[AmericanGUY 4,609]

the interviewer listening to cardi's response:

[Bam 1,695]

I can't understand the interview  Can someone please explain.

[Matangi 3,050]

she's ****ing hilarious and so sweet.