Slayer 9,227 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Picture the scene. There is a backdrop screen showing green hills with blossom trees, a blue sky with fluffy clouds, and tulips bobbing in the wind. The gentle sound of the breeze can be heard over the tinkling of wind chimes. Then the first few chords of 'Joanne' start to play. Gaga emerges onstage on the back of a beautiful white horse. She is wearing a long, flowing gown, her gorgeous blonde locks fall behind her shoulders, and she looks like an angel from heaven. She sings "take my hand, stay Joanne" and reaches out to the audience with her hand.... As the song progresses to the chorus, she crosses the stage on her horse, while the backdrop screen behind her flashes with photos of her family,the real Joanne, and Joanne's artwork and poetry. It's all interspersed with the stunning view of the green hills and blue sky. As the chorus starts, Gaga leans forward on the horse's neck and caresses her gently. The emotion is powerful, raw, and Gaga looks like she's on the verge of tears as she remembers what the song means to her father. Then, as the chorus melts away and the next few chords breathe new life into the second verse, Gaga's regal white horse lifts its tail, positions itself at just the right angle, and does a stinking pile of horse sh!t right there on the stage. Nobody knows what to do. Gaga, unaware what has happened, keeps singing the second verse whilst photos of Joanne appear on the screen behind her. It takes her until the next chorus, when she sees the horrified looks from the audience, for her to realise why the music has stopped. She moves her horse across the stage and tries her hardest not to panic when she sees the large sloppy pile of crap. Ever the consummate professional, she continues singing acapella, ignoring the pungent smell coming from just a few feet away. People in the audience start getting up and leaving, disgusted by the unpleasant aroma. Some start whispering that this is yet another attention-seeking stunt, but Gaga won't have any of it. "Get back here and sit down, you motherf*ckers!" she orders a group of people hastily making their way to the exit, including a bashful Ed Sheeran, who had sneaked into the GRAMMYs hoping they would give him an award just for gracing them with his presence. "I ain't done singing my song, so why don't you show this soon-to-be 7-time GRAMMY-award winning artist some respect, you ungrateful f*cks," yelled Gaga. The audience watched stony-faced, not knowing how to react or if this was all part of the performance. Britney starts laughing, thinking it's all a joke. "Shut up, Britney, why are you even here?" shouted Gaga, as she dismounted her horse and marched over to the middle of the stage. "I've had it with you people and the way you treat me! I'm an artist and I deserve respect! I have no friends in this industry and it's 'cause of moments like this. I'm trying to pay respect to my aunt and you're mocking me by walking out, just 'cause my horse did a turd. Well, guess what. I'll let you in on a little secret. Everybody sh*ts! And I bet yours don't smell of roses, either." Not realising she was being serious, the audience started joining in with Britney and soon everyone was laughing raucously. Gaga had had enough. This was the last straw. She just wanted to be taken seriously, but it seemed like so much more of a struggle for her to prove herself as an artist. What did it take for her to get a 70 on metacritic? She was Lady Gaga, for God's sake. She had just spent the last four years rebuilding her image after getting thrown up on onstage, and now she was right back to where she started because her precious Sandy had decided to empty her bowels in front of the whole world. "You think this is funny?" Gaga screamed at the top of her lungs. "You think I'm a joke? Well, here's the punchline, you talentless hacks!" With that, Gaga reached down and picked up a large chunk of her horse's poop. Not thinking straight, she flung her arm and threw the crap into the audience. It struck DJ Khalid directly in the face. Everybody went silent. Gaga picked up another chunk of poop and threw it at Bruno Mars, who ducked just in time for it to hit Cardi B in the mouth. Undeterred, Gaga kept throwing poop, again and again, until everybody in the first three rows had received a smattering of sh!t, including the hot one from the Chainsmokers. "Joanne sends her love," Gaga smirked, dropping the mic on the stage, just as security came to escort her out of the venue. "Oh my God," squealed Gaga's stylist, Brandon Maxwell, running into her dressing room the following day. "You're all over the news. Everybody hates you again!" "Perfect," said Gaga, with a cunning smile. "Just in time for LG6. Everybody wants to see me fall from grace, Brandon. And by the time LG7 comes around, they'll love me all over again and I'll get another GRAMMY." She took a puff of her rolled-up cigarette and dug her fork into a bowl of tagliatelle. "Next stop on Project: Ruin Lady Gaga's Reputation? Sacrifice a goat on stage. TMZ will be all over it!" I love judas SO MUCH but I canʹt look like a copycat of JLO!!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doot 2 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Joanne with Mark playing on the guitar. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doot 2 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 9 minutes ago, Slayer said: As the song progresses to the chorus, she crosses the stage on her horse, while the backdrop screen behind her flashes with photos of her family,the real Joanne, and Joanne's artwork and poetry. It's all interspersed with the stunning view of the green hills and blue sky. As the chorus starts, Gaga leans forward on the horse's neck and caresses her gently. The emotion is powerful, raw, and Gaga looks like she's on the verge of tears as she remembers what the song means to her father. My first thought was her getting thrown from the horse. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KleinGa 18,177 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 11 minutes ago, Slayer said: Picture the scene. There is a backdrop screen showing green hills with blossom trees, a blue sky with fluffy clouds, and tulips bobbing in the wind. The gentle sound of the breeze can be heard over the tinkling of wind chimes. Then the first few chords of 'Joanne' start to play. Gaga emerges onstage on the back of a beautiful white horse. She is wearing a long, flowing gown, her gorgeous blonde locks fall behind her shoulders, and she looks like an angel from heaven. She sings "take my hand, stay Joanne" and reaches out to the audience with her hand.... As the song progresses to the chorus, she crosses the stage on her horse, while the backdrop screen behind her flashes with photos of her family,the real Joanne, and Joanne's artwork and poetry. It's all interspersed with the stunning view of the green hills and blue sky. As the chorus starts, Gaga leans forward on the horse's neck and caresses her gently. The emotion is powerful, raw, and Gaga looks like she's on the verge of tears as she remembers what the song means to her father. Then, as the chorus melts away and the next few chords breathe new life into the second verse, Gaga's regal white horse lifts its tail, positions itself at just the right angle, and does a stinking pile of horse sh!t right there on the stage. Nobody knows what to do. Gaga, unaware what has happened, keeps singing the second verse whilst photos of Joanne appear on the screen behind her. It takes her until the next chorus, when she sees the horrified looks from the audience, for her to realise why the music has stopped. She moves her horse across the stage and tries her hardest not to panic when she sees the large sloppy pile of crap. Ever the consummate professional, she continues singing acapella, ignoring the pungent smell coming from just a few feet away. People in the audience start getting up and leaving, disgusted by the unpleasant aroma. Some start whispering that this is yet another attention-seeking stunt, but Gaga won't have any of it. "Get back here and sit down, you motherf*ckers!" she orders a group of people hastily making their way to the exit, including a bashful Ed Sheeran, who had sneaked into the GRAMMYs hoping they would give him an award just for gracing them with his presence. "I ain't done singing my song, so why don't you show this soon-to-be 7-time GRAMMY-award winning artist some respect, you ungrateful f*cks," yelled Gaga. The audience watched stony-faced, not knowing how to react or if this was all part of the performance. Britney starts laughing, thinking it's all a joke. "Shut up, Britney, why are you even here?" shouted Gaga, as she dismounted her horse and marched over to the middle of the stage. "I've had it with you people and the way you treat me! I'm an artist and I deserve respect! I have no friends in this industry and it's 'cause of moments like this. I'm trying to pay respect to my aunt and you're mocking me by walking out, just 'cause my horse did a turd. Well, guess what. I'll let you in on a little secret. Everybody sh*ts! And I bet yours don't smell of roses, either." Not realising she was being serious, the audience started joining in with Britney and soon everyone was laughing raucously. Gaga had had enough. This was the last straw. She just wanted to be taken seriously, but it seemed like so much more of a struggle for her to prove herself as an artist. What did it take for her to get a 70 on metacritic? She was Lady Gaga, for God's sake. She had just spent the last four years rebuilding her image after getting thrown up on onstage, and now she was right back to where she started because her precious Sandy had decided to empty her bowels in front of the whole world. "You think this is funny?" Gaga screamed at the top of her lungs. "You think I'm a joke? Well, here's the punchline, you talentless hacks!" With that, Gaga reached down and picked up a large chunk of her horse's poop. Not thinking straight, she flung her arm and threw the crap into the audience. It struck DJ Khalid directly in the face. Everybody went silent. Gaga picked up another chunk of poop and threw it at Bruno Mars, who ducked just in time for it to hit Cardi B in the mouth. Undeterred, Gaga kept throwing poop, again and again, until everybody in the first three rows had received a smattering of sh!t, including the hot one from the Chainsmokers. "Joanne sends her love," Gaga smirked, dropping the mic on the stage, just as security came to escort her out of the venue. "Oh my God," squealed Gaga's stylist, Brandon Maxwell, running into her dressing room the following day. "You're all over the news. Everybody hates you again!" "Perfect," said Gaga, with a cunning smile. "Just in time for LG6. Everybody wants to see me fall from grace, Brandon. And by the time LG7 comes around, they'll love me all over again and I'll get another GRAMMY." She took a puff of her rolled-up cigarette and dug her fork into a bowl of tagliatelle. "Next stop on Project: Ruin Lady Gaga's Reputation? Sacrifice a goat on stage. TMZ will be all over it!" This is the funniest thing Ive read all day and Im legit crying 😂😂😂 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeroen Bloeming 2,276 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Jewels&Drugs or Aura. For sure. Maybe even I Like It Rough. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rifek 51,753 Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Sinner's Prayer would be epic after she paid dust to it during the JWT ❗️ IG: thebumblebee__ ❗️ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mezzanine 476 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 i couldn't believe at the show how she ignored sinner's prayer, one of my fav songs from the album Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
LateToCult 40,896 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 I’m gonna tell you what she’s gonna do. She’s gonna sit down on a stool with a guitar and sing Joanne. She’s gonna wear a pink hat and probably some sort of white suit. When the song ends she’s gonna stand up, place her hat on her stool, and walk away. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rifek 51,753 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 1 minute ago, LateToCult said: I’m gonna tell you what she’s gonna do. She’s gonna sit down on a stool with a guitar and sing Joanne. She’s gonna wear a pink hat and probably some sort of white suit. When the song ends she’s gonna stand up, place her hat on her stool, and walk away. Gagz is that you? ❗️ IG: thebumblebee__ ❗️ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
LateToCult 40,896 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Just now, Rifek said: Gagz is that you? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mezzanine 476 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 imagine if she sings frankensteined now being realistic, it's pretty obvious what will happen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP3UsFrDJfY Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rifek 51,753 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 11 minutes ago, mezzanine said: now being realistic, it's pretty obvious what will happen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP3UsFrDJfY Grammys confirmed she's performing a song from Joanne so we won't be cured anymore ❗️ IG: thebumblebee__ ❗️ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monsterdino 31,991 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Joanne medley similarly what Beyonce did for 2017 Grammys...where she will say her final goodbye to the Joanne era Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monsterdino 31,991 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 4 minutes ago, Rifek said: Grammys confirmed she's performing a song from Joanne so we won't be cured anymore where? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mezzanine 476 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 5 minutes ago, Rifek said: Grammys confirmed she's performing a song from Joanne so we won't be cured anymore wig! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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