Gay men hate femme gay men

[Mythos 3,199]

Is this more of a US problem? I haven't seen a lot of this fragile masculanity here in Europe.

[calmar 22,768]

17 minutes ago, Mythos said:

Is this more of a US problem? I haven't seen a lot of this fragile masculinity here in Europe.

I definitely think it's more noticeable in the US than in Europe. When there's a famous song about it (from the movie Legally Blonde called "Gay or European") then you know something's up  

[REALITY 80,162]

4 hours ago, berlinforme said:

I agree that there are gay guys who are just insecure about their own masculinity and need to drag down femme gay guys in front of their friends or other people to feel better. 

But then on the other hand I've had a friend back when I was in school who was this very flamboyant kind of gay and who ran around in high heels from time to time. Of course basic straight people stared at him and then he insulted them in a very tacky way and said things like "Hey bitch, never seen a gay man or what?!" and this is something of which I really think gives a bad reputation to the gay community. I know he's not like that because he's gay but because he's stupid but if it's the first impression of a gay guy for someone... oh, well... 

He's not "stupid" for wanting to run around in high heels and wanting to be feminine. That's just how he is, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with being feminine. See, it's this kind of attitude that degrades feminine gay guys within the community. Things like this don't give the community a bad name. So what if he's feminine? Let him be. What gives the community a bad name are people willing to generalize a whole community based on one individual.

[berlinforme 5,385]

23 minutes ago, M Monstre said:

He's not "stupid" for wanting to run around in high heels and wanting to be feminine. That's just how he is, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with being feminine. See, it's this kind of attitude that degrades feminine gay guys within the community. Things like this don't give the community a bad name. So what if he's feminine? Let him be. What gives the community a bad name are people willing to generalize a whole community based on one individual.

Do people actually read what I wrote?

He is wearing heels, that's very non-conformistic for men, so it generates attention. Of course people were looking, not even in an offensive way. And he insulted them by shouting something like "What you're looking at, bitch?" 

That IS a stupid inappropriate behaviour, regardless of wether he is gay, gay & feminine or straight. 

Of course it's not good that the GP can't just let people run around like they want without judging them but this is the reality right now, don't be like "People have to accept this, otherwise they're homophobic and evil!" 

SJWs on here don't even get my point, lol. 

[REALITY 80,162]

Just now, berlinforme said:

Do people actually read what I wrote?

He is wearing heels, that's very non-conformistic for men, so it generates attention. Of course people were looking, not even in an offensive way. And he insulted them by shouting something like "What you're looking at, bitch?" 

That IS a stupid inappropriate behaviour, regardless of if he is gay, gay & feminine or straight. 

Of course it's not good that the GP can't just let people run around like they want without judging them but this is the reality right now, don't be like "People have to accept this, otherwise they're homophobic and evil!" 

SJWs on here don't even get my point, lol. 

I read it, I just interpreted what you said wrong. Insulting other people is never good, and that indeed was stupid. No need to get so flustered by it. 

[berlinforme 5,385]

1 minute ago, M Monstre said:

I read it, I just interpreted what you said wrong. Insulting other people is never good, and that indeed was stupid. No need to get so flustered by it. 

You were already the second person to do so, that's why I got a bit annoyed, haha. Positivity & sorry! 

[Brooklyn Knight 108]

The reality is that this has always been a problem and I know for a fact that it has to do with not only misogyny, but some incessant need to feel better than another person. It's something that I have witnessed and experienced. Since there is already so much animosity towards the gay community, more "masc" gays flip the script and direct all the hate to femmes. It works not only to get attention off of them, but it also works as a way of creating a power structure in which femmes are the root of all evil in the community and are the ones giving a bad image. Its messed up that the world works like that. 

[chromasine 5,439]

12 minutes ago, Brooklyn Knight said:

The reality is that this has always been a problem and I know for a fact that it has to do with not only misogyny, but some incessant need to feel as better than another problem. It's something that I have witnessed and experienced. Since there is already so much animosity towards the gay community, more "masc" gays flip the script and direct all the hate to femmes. It works not only to get attention off of them, but it also works as a way of creating a power structure in which femmes are the root of all evil in the community and are the ones giving a bad image. Its messed up that the world works like that. 

We LOVE a nicely brewed tea! Xoxo sister 

[Doot 2]

Honestly, something that damages the gay community, at least imo, is that everything is constantly so sex centric. 

[Brooklyn Knight 108]

1 minute ago, Doot said:

Honestly, something that damages the gay community, at least imo, is that everything is constantly so sex centric. 

Do you think that it has to do with Grindr and the hookup culture in general? I mean, as a gay guy I totally see that sex is a big part of the community, but why?

 

[Doot 2]

2 minutes ago, Brooklyn Knight said:

Do you think that it has to do with Grindr and the hookup culture in general? I mean, as a gay guy I totally see that sex is a big part of the community, but why?

 

I have no idea. 

Hookup culture is rampaging. Every single gay bar is covered with posters of half naked men. The gay pride parades are all dildos and condoms and jock straps, etc. 

[Magneto 13,546]

First of all:

 

Now that we got that out of the way. I'm not gonna get into the whole internalized homophobia and misogyny in the gay community, because that has been discussed a lot already. For me, I just try to separate traits from gender. We're talking about being expressive or reserved, happy or stoic, shy or social. People can have all of these different traits at different times and different situations, no matter what gender or sex.

I too have a preference in men and find some traits more attractive than other. This is what makes us human. The difference I try to nott combine these traits with gender/religion/ethnicity and stigmatize people in the process. 

[MonsterPaws 2,745]

9 hours ago, GodofLove said:

I’m a gay man and my preference is manly men. Femme turn me off.. because I’m gay for a reason. I want a MAN. Not a feminine man. 

EDIT: not that I’m saying femme men aren’t men, they are the bravest people I know. It’s just a preference of mine. 

MTE 

[Petie Estie 5,704]

how many times am I gonna have to go through a thread where gay men talk about how something is "just a preference" and collect likes 

[VanishIntoMe 3,973]

I'm personally not into very feminine men, but I would never treat them any worse than any other human being.