Lanius 1,055 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 Quote Shay Neary posted on Instagram screenshots of chats she had on dating apps with guys who rejected her after finding out her transgender status. Some of the messages are pretty abusive, including one guy calling Neary a “freak” and another saying he couldn’t date her because he’s a “heterosexual male”. Quote The model lives in New York City and works a day job as well as modelling. She says: “I give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to comfort… I’m willing to be more open to take things slow. “If they’re not comfortable with where I’m at in my transition, that’s OK. If they still want to know me on a deeper level, that’s OK.” Neary said she used to use PlentyOfFish to date online, but that her profile was repeatedly deleted because she is transgender. She uses OKCupid now and says she asks “Do you know I’m trans”, rather than what she used to ask “Did you read my page”, in order to avoid abusive conversations. Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4641254/Model-Shay-Neary-opens-dating-trans-woman.html Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HauntingHollow 4,310 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic EDIT: I can see that that one guy talking about freakshow, so he is transphobic the others not so much Stop quoting me, i do not have enough energy to reply to all of you Report me if u want EDIT: i see new examples of transphobic guys appeared here now i look a mess You can not hide if nobody pays attention to you :* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
thatfoxyfeeling 13,401 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 2 minutes ago, Moncher said: Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic This. I don't agree with her being abused, but if a male rejects her it doesn't mean he's transphobic. I couldn't get with a transman that's just being honest. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanius 1,055 Posted July 11, 2017 Author Share Posted July 11, 2017 Just now, Moncher said: Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic One of the guys said that they weren't interested in her because he was an Heterosexual MAN. Basically implying that she's not a woman Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supersonic 49,376 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 1 minute ago, Moncher said: Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic They were the ones hitting her up in the first place and then dropped her when they found out she was trans. That's the definition of transphobic. A "Just because I think gay people should rot in hell and deserve no human rights, doesn't mean I'm homophobic." tea. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sizzily 14,571 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 Is anyone really surprised? Inside my head I have the best time Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lodylody 1,790 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 4 minutes ago, Moncher said: Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic I agree with this. However, the examples above are slightly transphobic (or in some cases probably just ignorant) just because of the way they handle the situation. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delusional Aura 5,129 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 7 minutes ago, Moncher said: Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic You do realize one of the guys said he's a heterosexual guy and another said she should have being a freak show as her status right? So explain to me where the lack of transphobia is you moron? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lodylody 1,790 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 5 minutes ago, Supersonic said: They were the ones hitting her up in the first place and then dropped her when they found out she was trans. That's the definition of transphobic. A "Just because I think gay people should rot in hell and deserve no human rights, doesn't mean I'm homophobic." tea. It's a perfectly valid sexual preference to not be attracted to trans men. For example, if a trans man has a vagina, I am not attracted to vaginas and that's perfectly reasonable. You can't say I'm transphobic just because I won't date a man with a vagina. That's being vaginaphobic and nothing more. (EDIT: I will reiterate though, that the men shown are transphobic for calling her a freak show, etc). (EDIT 2: And I know the example above is a trans woman, I'm just putting it into an easier example for me to explain.) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
codymonster 8,898 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 So would I be homophobic if I said that I didn't want to date a gay man because that's not what I'm into? She needs to chiiiiiilllllll. Yes, a few of the examples were rude and transphobic, but the other two were very polite about it. People have tastes, and you don't fit theirs. They don't want to date you, move onnnnnn Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miel 15,009 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 I know a lot of people are still on the fence with it, but I still think a relationship between a heterosexual man and a trans woman can still be defined as "heterosexual". Considering it's still between a man and a woman. While I very much disagree with the men and their statements, it is something to acknowledge that, unfortunately, there are still going to be hangups on that dynamic because of a lifetime of socialized homo- and transphobia. For example, the man stating he's a heterosexual male and is not interested. In an ideal world, his disinterest would be on her character or aesthetic, not based on her being trans or not. But, he's being polite, and honestly probably isn't educated and/or informed on the nuances of issues like this. Of course, not being interested in a trans woman is always going to be transphobic. That said, some of these examples very much are. 3 points in and ready for more Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BibleThisWay 4,370 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 as much as a lot of those guys were assholes, people need to realise not wanting to date a trans person =/= being transphobic. A lot of straight people want to have children which is very hard to do naturally for trans people, so rejecting a person because they're trans is a completely valid excuse Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoful 13,304 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 The first one is definitely not Transphobic lol Who is this lady anyway? "My name is Dita, I'll be your Mistress tonight..." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emvee 8,832 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 On 7/11/2017 at 8:24 AM, Supersonic said: They were the ones hitting her up in the first place and then dropped her when they found out she was trans. That's the definition of transphobic. A "Just because I think gay people should rot in hell and deserve no human rights, doesn't mean I'm homophobic." tea. No, that is not a comparable statement. A comparable statement would be "Just because I'm not attracted to women does not mean I'm misogynistic or hate women." This is no different than a straight woman not being attracted to other women or gay men not being attracted to women. Spin this whatever way you want, but what this comes down to sex, physical attraction, and the genitals that you have between your legs. I am all for trans people having the respect and rights they deserve as human beings, but you CANNOT force sexual attraction. That first guy was very polite about the situation and does not deserve to be antagonized like this. The other guy though.... And it's not like there arent plenty of (ATTRACTIVE) men out there who actively seek transgirls. Focus energy into finding those men. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaperIz 7,354 Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 These guys were really awful about it like sheesh except the first guy, his answer was problematic but at least he was nice. Not being attracted to someone who is trans doesn't mean you HAVE to be transphobic. Human generated art Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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