Letmelivemylife 8,715 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Dear Gaga,  I had a few moments to reflect on these past 9 years and it's amazing to think how far I've come. I was never one of those who understood our celebrity obsessed society. I rolled my eyes at the people who followed celebs on Twitter and waited for hours outside of their hotels. It was borderline "fatal attraction" level obsession to me. I rolled my eyes and silently judged them until a tiny Italian woman from New York wormed her way into my heart and became my everything. Now I totally get it. I know this sounds corny and you've probably heard it a million times but you saved my life. I mean yeah if you were to look at the family portraits on our walls, we looked like any other family with 3 kids and a golden retriever. But darkness lurked under that image. I grew up with a mentally ill mother who was incapable of showing affection to my 2 sisters and I. She never wanted children but bought into the whole "you aren't a woman unless you have children" deal which I think is complete bullshit. Her dad made my dad marry her after my mom got pregnant with my oldest sister so it was basically a shotgun wedding. 3 years after that I came along and 7 years after that my baby sister came along. My mother mostly pawned us off on my grandmother. Living in that's household did an incredible amount of emotional damage. I spent years trying to fill the empty void with meaningless one night stands and Coke/heroin addiction. I know this sounds so sick but it was like the drugs were a part of me. They didn't yell at me like my grandma did and they didn't abandon me like my bio mom did. There's a line from the film Forrest Gump in which Jenny tells Forrest "you don't know what love is" before realizing that it was her that didn't know what love was. To her love was sexual abuse and drug addiction and meaningless one night stands. I can so relate to that. I entered rehab at 15 not by choice but because my oldest sister put me in there because she refused to watch me slowly kill myself.  I was angry at the world because the world didn't understand me. I was angry at my mother because she didn't love me. I was angry at my dad because he wasn't ever home. All of that changed in 2008. I was a broke college student barely scraping by. I was still angry at the world and desperately trying to find a way to fill that void. That all changed when you came along. You were the first one who accepted me for who I was. You saw how broken I was and you glued me back together. You loved me as if I was your own. So Gaga, thank you. You gave me a million reasons to hold on when I had a 100 million reasons to let go. You taught me that love really does exist. I love you monsters. I'd be unfixably broken without you Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAMROD 98,925 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Awh The stories not finished yet, but so far I am reading it, you've been a strong girl, please hang in there  (ďžâăŽâ)ďžâ§*:ď˝Ľďž AND I'M VICTORIA, MALCOLM! (*´č¸ď˝*) âĄâĄâĄ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Computer 10,967 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 THANK YOU GAGA I love you đđđâŁâđ˘đ˘ | âââĄâĄâ¨ ŠââĄââ˘âŁââ⢠Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PunkTheFunk 122,149 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Thank you for the music Gagz, the songs I'm singing Thanks for all the joy they're bringing Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty What would life be? Without a song or a dance what are we? So I say thank you for the music For giving it to me Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCHIKITAH 2,810 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Damn sorry to read that happen to you best thoughts to you. So Gaga helped you in which ways? Or is there more to the story? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Letmelivemylife 8,715 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 5 minutes ago, RAMROD said: Awh The stories not finished yet, but so far I am reading it, you've been a strong girl, please hang in there  Thank you . That's why I get so incredibly hurt when people say "it's creepy that you refer to her as mama". That's ok if she's just "gaga" to you but to me she's mama because she's the closest thing I've ever had to a mom. Yeah my bio mom gave birth to me but she isn't "mom" to me because she wasn't ever there. I love you monsters. I'd be unfixably broken without you Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
VanityQueen 12 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 So beautiful Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caca 1,414 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Nobody's gonna read the full post. Mrs. Caca's career found dead in a ditch, re-evaluation process started. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kvnrp 48,353 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 I don't think any other contemporary can match Gaga in that regard She's truly something special Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Letmelivemylife 8,715 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 2 minutes ago, TCHIKITAH said: Damn sorry to read that happen to you best thoughts to you. So Gaga helped you in which ways? Or is there more to the story? She taught me that it's ok to be the weird kid, that we're all "damaged" in our own way. She taught me that true love does exist. I mean the love that she shows her monsters is true and pure. She taught me that mental illness is not something that my bio mom could control. I love you monsters. I'd be unfixably broken without you Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Letmelivemylife 8,715 Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 Just now, kvnrp said: I don't think any other contemporary can match Gaga in that regard She's truly something special People see my gaga tattoos and they just label me an obsessed fan but what they don't understand is that she was there when no one else was. She's "just" a popstar to them but to me she's so much more. She's "mama" to me because she did all of the things that a mama is "supposed" to do I love you monsters. I'd be unfixably broken without you Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheFriend 1,757 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Is this a repost? I feel like I've read this before  Anyways....  I just want to    you   you'll be alright sis~ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Hollywood 37,357 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 26 minutes ago, Pomick209 said: Nobody's gonna read the full post. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Slayne 4,154 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 wow  this is the true impact of Lady Gaga stay strong sis! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freud 5,093 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 @Letmelivemylife u are a strong person. Maybe sometimes we need somebody to remember us how strong we can be. Never forget what Gaga did to believe in urself but always remember it was always you who fought. Its brave to tell this story. Wish you all the best and stay this way Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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